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Microsoft Unveils Online Advertising Service
jwb4273 writes "Microsoft has released another weapon in its battle against Google. Steve Ballmer has announced today that Microsoft's web properties (MSN, Live, etc.) will no longer use Yahoo!'s advertising services, and will instead use Microsoft's new advertising platform 'adCenter'. For wanting to go in together with Yahoo, this seems like the wrong start for a good relationship."
I'm just waiting for the day when I'm in the middle of sex and my condom reminds me that a wide variety of complementary lubes, toys, emergency contraceptives, massage oils, sheets, mattresses, and porn are available.
This is of course assuming I can get laid...
So that day will never come? (pun intended)
Ok, how the fuck can an article get tagged "floppingwienervision"? /. horde coming up with this description, and I'm sure it takes more than that to get an article tagged.
I can't imagine more than 2-3 people out of the whole
In fact, I love advertisements so much, you can tattoo me and inject electrodes into my head so all I do is think about Microsoft and how badly I want the XBox 360. Yes, I would finally be able to die happy!
... empty. And in a consumer-oriented culture, not being encouraged buy something takes the fun out of things in much the same way as slows economic growth, the spread of democracy, and hinders the war on terrorism.
Yeah, but how do you *really* feel?
Years ago I stopped listening to commercial radio, stopped watching commercial television, and make it a point to avoid places, people and things that offer up any sort of commercially-inspired stimulus. I'd like to think myself progressive, but since T-shirts and clothing adorned with company logos are now all the rage, I think I must be either ahead of the times, or well behind them. Hell, I wonder if my license plate is too bare without the gratuitous car dealer information.
At any rate, I doubt the average person notices. Or cares. Whether it's the proverbial pebble in the shoe, the 60Hz flicker in the fluorescent lighting, the drone of cheap background music over even cheaper speakers at the supermarket or gas station, or the billboard on the freeway, the effects are too subliminable to raise a fuss. I'd even go so far as to suggest it's the only colour people have in their lives and may welcome it. A content-free web page without a cheerful ad is just too
Or something like that.
$ ftp ftp.microsoft.com
Connected to ftp.microsoft.com.
220 Microsoft FTP Service
Name (ftp.microsoft.com:value_added): anonymous
331 Anonymous access allowed, send identity (e-mail name) as password.
Password:
230-Welcome to FTP.MICROSOFT.COM. Where do you want to go today? Visit http://www.amazon.com/
230 Anonymous user logged in.
Remote system type is Windows_NT.
ftp> quit
221 Thank you for using Microsoft products. Remember, Vons is value. Play hard. Do evil. Tastes great and less filling. This message brought to you by Fox News.
Flash ads in Outlook? No problem.
For years, people have wondered where Microsoft was going. A seemingly endless supply of ill-conceived and contradictory decisions, failed business projects, and general mismanagement gave the impression that there was no clear corporate vision. With the satuaration of the OS and Office software market, no one knew where MS would turn next to sustain the drug of growth.
No one except me, that is. Some said MS would go into being a conten provider. You fools. Porn sites are content providers, MS sells no porn. Others thought that Bill and Company were looking to get into the embedded device market. WTF were they smoking? Embedded devices have no need for brand names. Who cares what your VCR runs other than stinkfingered cheeto monkeys watching tapes of Enterprise frame by frame to see the T'Pol nipple shot?
No, the future is clear. MS must take their marketing talent and money to a new market. One that is unaccustomed to the trench fighting of the Tech sector. A ripe plum. Yes, I am talking about the snack cake market.
With the considerable leverage and investment capability, MS has the chance to swoop into the prepackaged pastry industry like Hitler into Poland. Sarah Lee is ripe for a takeover with the failure of their X-99 project of dehydrated cupcakes. With such a strong base, competitor after competitor could be gobbled up. In a few short years, there would be only one source for Coffee cakes, Twinkies, HoHo, DingDongs, Chocodiles, zingers, and snowballs.
Think I'm crazy? Get off the smack. The signs are there. The Xbox is nothing more than an activity inhibitor. Less active children eat more cupcakes. The BSOD was a conditioning system. Once MS introduces the blue frosting on their signautre snack bites, the dollars will flow.
This latest project is just a cover. The only ads running on the system in 10 years will be for BillBills and BalmerDogs. I just don't understand why people don't see it. Sheep.
The Revolution. Now available as a convienent six tape series from PBS.
I see you're writing a suicide note, take a look at these great offers!
Or maybe you should stop using lynx
there's a point at which some of us just want to take the nearest marketer and plunge something sharp and pointy into their head.
Please aim for the chest.
Or do you really expect to hit anything worthwhile when plunging into the head?