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One Big Bang, Or Many?

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the boggles-the-mind dept.

butterwise writes "From the Guardian Unlimited: 'The universe is at least 986 billion years older than physicists thought and is probably much older still, according to a radical new theory. The revolutionary study suggests that time did not begin with the big bang 14 billion years ago. This mammoth explosion which created all the matter we see around us, was just the most recent of many.'"

22 of 492 comments (clear)

  1. God is one kinky SOB by Average_Joe_Sixpack · · Score: 2, Funny

    Created the universe in one giant gang bang

    ** I hope I don't get smited for that

    1. Re:God is one kinky SOB by remembertomorrow · · Score: 5, Funny

      In other news, pornography much older than originally thought.

      --
      Registered Linux user #421033
    2. Re:God is one kinky SOB by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I hope I don't get smited for that

      No problem. Just come along, if you like!

      God.

    3. Re:God is one kinky SOB by jdgeorge · · Score: 4, Funny

      Created the universe in one giant gang bang

      ** I hope I don't get smited for that

      For some reason, when I conjugate the verb word "smite" in that context, I get "smut".

      (Yes, I know, it should be "smitten", but that's hardly humorous.)

  2. Whew! by Kelson · · Score: 4, Funny
    "All we can say is [the next big bang] won't be within the next 10 billion years." Good job, because if we were around we would instantly disintegrate into massless particles of light.

    And you know how quickly that kind of thing can ruin your day!

    1. Re:Whew! by turgid · · Score: 2, Funny

      Are you a PERL programmer by any chance?

      --
      Stick Men
  3. Taking Numbers at Face Value by Stranger4U · · Score: 5, Funny

    "...at least 986 billion years older ..."

    I always found it amusing when people take scientific estimates at face value. The article says something along the lines of "the universe could be up to a trillion years old," so, obviously, the universe is precisely 1 trillion years old.

    1. Re:Taking Numbers at Face Value by Frequency+Domain · · Score: 4, Funny

      Reminds me of the story about the museum curator who was leaning on the second floor railing looking down at the T-Rex display, one of his personal favorites. A small family group were in front of the display, looking up in awe, and the kid asked his parents how old it was. The janitor, who had been listening nearby, sauntered over and said "I happen to know that that there skeleton is sixty five million and thirteen years old." The curator cracked up as the janitor continued, "Yup, I been workin' here thirteen years now and the curator himself told me on the day I started that it was sixty five million years old."

  4. So do I get my AARP card that much sooner? by jpellino · · Score: 1, Funny

    I can leapfrog the next 7 years of angst I was planning for this event.

    --
    "Win treats sysadmins better than users. Mac treats users better than sysadmins. Linux treats everyone like sysadmins."
  5. So... by Moby+Cock · · Score: 4, Funny

    So...This is all just deja vu all over again?

  6. I no want relationship by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I just want BANG BANG BANG!

  7. Never know! by git68 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Vista might be released before the next big bang.

    --
    sigpending(2)
  8. Re:986 billion exactly? by eaddict · · Score: 2, Funny

    No... it is really 42 billion years old. THAT would have been the number I would have liked to see.

    --
    "If you are on fire you can just stop, drop, and roll. If you fall into Lava you are just dead." - my 5yr old daughter
  9. No center? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I guess that makes the question "how many licks does it take" sort of moot, huh?

  10. Wow! This precisely cooincides with... by Quiet_Desperation · · Score: 2, Funny
    ...the Duke Nuke'em release cycle!

    I'm flabbergasted!

  11. Re:986 billion exactly? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I agree, this current estimate is 70 times further off than the first estimate.

  12. Re:-1 for self-contradiction, -1 for lateness by zxnos · · Score: 3, Funny

    usually?...

    --
    always mosh clockwise
  13. Re:-1 for self-contradiction, -1 for lateness by soupdevil · · Score: 2, Funny

    Where do baby universes come from?

    Well, when two universes love each other very much...
  14. Re:Don't worry too much by javamann · · Score: 2, Funny

    "look around, isn't the fact thet you are alive proof enough that there is some force in the universerse much more powerful then anything you have ever experienced."

    Mom?

  15. finally by Khashishi · · Score: 2, Funny

    Finally, a scientific explanation for dupes!

  16. Re:Global Warming, Universe Competition by Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp · · Score: 5, Funny

    > parallel/oposite/mirror universe

    Where people hang out on dotslash.moc, a web site for intellectually average people with magnificent sex lives. News for normals. You look mahvelous.

    --
    (-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
  17. Re:Giant Recycling Machine by mikeswi · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sooo........ Since that's taken care of, it means I can stop putting my plastic bottles on the curb every Monday?

    (Sorry, couldn't resist)

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    Only on /.