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The Molecular Secrets of Cream Cheese

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the pandering-to-the-editors dept.

Roland Piquepaille writes "The June issue of Wired Magazine carries a story about one of the two university labs in the U.S. dedicated to cream cheese research. This one is -- where else? -- in Madison, Wisconsin, where researchers are exploring the molecular mysteries of cream cheese. You may not know, but this cheese is tricky to produce because the acid-secreting bacteria used to coagulate the milk need to be killed at the right time. The researchers are now writing a guidebook about the secrets of cream cheese, a book which will be available to anyone, in a process similar to the open source movement for software. For more information, please read the entertaining article of Wired magazine, 'Schmear Campaign' or this summary to discover little-known facts about cream cheese."

10 of 211 comments (clear)

  1. Wonderful by kimvette · · Score: 3, Funny

    "The work is funded by federal grants," (snip other sources of funding, yes I know it's not ALL tax funded)

    I am so glad that tax dollars extorted from me are being spent on such important projects. Thanks Uncle Sam!

    --
    The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
    1. Re:Wonderful by thc69 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Perhaps they will investigate the phenomena whereby cream cheese is the exact opposite of expresso. I once tried an expresso, about ten years ago, at Barnes & Noble. Immediately, I set out on a mission to locate some cream cheese. Tragically, I went cream-cheese-less...but I really could have eaten a whole package of it, and it would have made my mouth feel much better.

      --
      Procrastination -- because good things come to those who wait.
    2. Re:Wonderful by kfg · · Score: 5, Funny

      Obviously they either need to cut funding for this project, or balance it by adding funding for a project to investigate the molecular secrets of lox.

      We cannot have a cream cheese/lox molecular secrets gap at taxpayer expense.

      KFG

    3. Re:Wonderful by pHatidic · · Score: 4, Funny

      Surely the government would not fund such a caper.

    4. Re:Wonderful by talkingpaperclip · · Score: 3, Funny

      "Yeah, WTF? When has learning anything about organic chemistry prove useful?"

      Other than the typo, that's exactly what I said to my parents after I failed Organic Chemistry last semester.

  2. Strangely, by venicebeach · · Score: 4, Funny

    Strangely, there are not many academical papers about cream cheese.

    Yeah. Truly bizarre.

  3. Open Source Cream Cheese, yeah Cheese is the word. by layer3switch · · Score: 4, Funny

    We have Open Source Cream Cheese now? Oh sweet lord of mercy! All we need is Open Source Bagel and Open Source Toaster. Oh wait, we already have NetBSD.

    --
    "Don't let fools fool you. They are the clever ones."
  4. Re:Science gone amuck again by vijayiyer · · Score: 3, Funny

    Do you wish that Louis Pasteur didn't invent the pasteurization process too? Or are only current scientific advancements "mucking up" our food sources?

  5. Madison Wisconsin by ptelligence · · Score: 4, Funny
    This one is -- where else? -- in Madison, Wisconsin

    and the other one is in -- let me guess -- Philadelphia?

  6. mmm by cptgrudge · · Score: 5, Funny
    It's not easy to extract a large plastic syringe that's submerged in a tub of very firm cream cheese, but Mercedes Brighenti performs the task with elegance and precision. The sleeves of her white lab coat are rolled up, her long dark hair is pulled back, and her silver watch is pushed up on her slender arm. Still, the final tug flings little globs of cheese around the university lab - one of only two in the US with a cream cheese research program.

    I'm think I'm in love.

    --
    Qualitas edurus commercium, nullus penitus net rimor, nullus deus beneficium