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Verified: Record-breaking Pitfall! Run
Daniel Vignes writes ""Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back Into The Jungle!"
A perfect Pitfall! run with 1:28 left in time, perfect score
and no deaths has just been verified by the authority on classic
gaming, Twin Galaxies."
Shortly after news broke of Daniel's epic accomplishment, reality TV show offers started pouring in.
Among them, a proposal from ABC for a televised relationship with Paris Hilton for a month, a proposal from CBS to televise him living in close quarters with Terrell Owens for two months, NBC's proposal to televise him talking with Jack Thompson for three minutes & Fox's proposal to videotape him living for a year with a North American black bear that has been injected with rabies.
When asked which contract he'd be signing, Daniel revealed he was leaning towards Fox's proposal of starring in "World's Most Dangerous Roommate" citing that he'd take the rabid bear over the other three any day and was cautiously optimistic that his vine-swinging & pit jumping skills would come in handy.
Daniel has recently purchased a large mansion on loan and is confident that his endorsement contracts are only now starting with Twin Galaxies. Enjoy your fifteen minutes, Daniel!
My work here is dung.
And it only took him 24 years to do it !
That's awesome. Takes me back 25 years to when, 25 years? Half a century? OK, now I'm depressed.
If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
and they want their news back.
This is the only time trial the USA will ever be able to beat the Kenyans in.
http://www.twingalaxies.com/index.aspx?c=19&id=135 5:
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Exception of type System.OutOfMemoryException was thrown.
Description: An unhandled exception occurred during the execution of the current web request. Please review the stack trace for more information about the error and where it originated in the code.
Exception Details: System.OutOfMemoryException: Exception of type System.OutOfMemoryException was thrown.
Source Error:
An unhandled exception was generated during the execution of the current web request. Information regarding the origin and location of the exception can be identified using the exception stack trace below.
Stack Trace:
[OutOfMemoryException: Exception of type System.OutOfMemoryException was thrown.]
Version Information: Microsoft
Am I the only one who wants to view the verification video? Not to scrutinize it of course, but I want to see it!
[DISCLAIMER: This post is a work of satire and should not be misconstrued as a holy text upon which to base a religion.]
Oddly enough I was waiting for the "Waiting for the this is not news comments" comments.
Dedicated Cthulhu Cultist since 4523 BC.
"I did Pitfall with 1:28 left!"
Might rank right after "3 touchdowns in a high-school football game".
Hmm... I guess I'll stick with "I make almost 6 digits a year".
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Since there will be a Pitfall movie:
f all
http://youtube.com/watch?v=heWXUSr1DmA&search=pit
DNA in your Linux: DNALinux
I still play "Sonic the Hedgehog", although I'm slightly dismayed that I can no longer complete "Green Hill Zone Act 1" in 26 seconds. Curse my 26 year old athritic-like thumbs.
I know its a cliché, but its true. I honestly wish I was a little older so I could enjoy the origins of computing, and moreso, the origins of gaming. Pitfall!, Boulderdash etc etc all classic games
There was a high price to pay for being around in those days - Ronald Reagan, Cyndi Lauper, pink polo shirts with upturned collars, 512K being enough for anyone...
What if I do the same thing, and I do get different results?
Wait, Rumsfeld visited Iraq today? *ducks*
Yeah, I'm following up on this by giving a stern fucking glance to the clever asshole that thinks tagging every fucking story here with "slownewsday" is helpful. I'm not reading /. to get ready for next week's debate society meeting--I'm here precisely to read stories like this. I know where http://cnn.com/ is on tehIntarweb, fuckstick. Here's some gems from that leading authority's front page: Buick -- the car of choice for China's hip crowd and Duck-stalking gator caught near daycare. Please leave the tagging beta to the grownups, mmkay?
blarg.
Especially since the #1 terrorist leader in Iraq was killed
Oddly enough, he was killed by scorpions and alligators...
And Michael Jackson was cool!
And black!