Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

SCO to Unix developers, We want you back

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the buying-friends dept.

NoGuffCheck writes "CRN is reporting that Darl McBride is looking to get Unix developers back onboard with cash incentives for completing training in SCO's new mobile application kit; EdgeBuilder. It doesn't stop there; there's a 12-cylinder BMW or $100,000 dollars for the development of the best wireless application."

24 of 427 comments (clear)

  1. Ah, but there's a catch... by Joey+Patterson · · Score: 5, Funny

    * All developers are required to pay their $699 SCO licensing fees at the door.

    1. Re:Ah, but there's a catch... by The+Snowman · · Score: 5, Funny
      All developers are required to pay their $699 SCO licensing fees at the door.

      It isn't a licensing fee. It's the price of paying the SCO lottery! For the low low price of $699, you have a chance at one of several fabulous prizes including $100k, a luxury car, and a night of terror on Darl's private yacht complete with built-in dungeon! Fun for the whole family!

      --
      24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!
    2. Re:Ah, but there's a catch... by gbulmash · · Score: 5, Funny

      Luring a developer to code for your products: $100,000 and a BMW.
      Finding out developers still hate you passionately: Priceless

      - G

      --
      Start a happiness pandemic
    3. Re:Ah, but there's a catch... by IAmTheDave · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Aw, baby... look, you know I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just... sometimes I get so angry. You make me really angry sometimes. But I love you - I love you. I won't hurt you again, I PROMISE. I'm going to get help.

      "Yeah, I know it's happened before, but it won't happen again - I swear! Come back home baby."

      --
      Excuse my speling.
      Making The Bar Project
    4. Re:Ah, but there's a catch... by alexfromspace · · Score: 5, Funny

      Exactly. Furthermore, if you read the fine print on the other side of the second appendix to the last page of the contract, it says that SCO, in addition to owning you, will also own your wife, children, dog, truck and home, because they are all your derivatives. Although the wife has a legal option to divorce and seek custody of the children, the SCO also realises that this may be bound by any prenuptual agreements, and they reserve the right to challenge any such 'weak' and 'inconvincing' prenuptual agreement in various courts.

    5. Re:Ah, but there's a catch... by badasscat · · Score: 5, Funny

      Who else read this title and thought (In the words of the great Borat) "F*#k To You".

      I just thought it must have been missing a few words:

        SCO to Unix developers: We want (to shoot) you (in the) back

    6. Re:Ah, but there's a catch... by artifex2004 · · Score: 4, Funny
      "Aw, baby... look, you know I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just... sometimes I get so angry. You make me really angry sometimes. But I love you - I love you. I won't hurt you again, I PROMISE. I'm going to get help.
      "Yeah, I know it's happened before, but it won't happen again - I swear! Come back home baby."


      Once again I am beaten to the punch.

  2. Let me be the first to say by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 5, Funny

    BWA HA HAHA

    --
    No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
  3. monkeyboy by namekuseijin · · Score: 5, Funny

    "developer, developers, developers..."

    use the Ballmer mantra, Darl. you have to sweat like a pig to convince your audience...

    --
    I don't feel like it...
  4. Reminds me of... by TheDarkener · · Score: 4, Funny

    CLICK HERE and win a FREE IPOD!!!!!!!!111

    --
    It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
  5. For $100,000 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    You can almost buy the company with that nowadays can't you?

  6. UNIX Developers to SCO by winkydink · · Score: 4, Funny

    Bite me!

    --

    "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

  7. Unix developers to SCO:Suck it by turbosk · · Score: 4, Funny

    A pox on any and all who would sign on to duh-arl's 2-bit shakedown fart of a company.

  8. UNIX Developers to SCO: by tokki · · Score: 5, Funny

    Go fuck yourself.

    1. Re:UNIX Developers to SCO: by jbeaupre · · Score: 4, Funny

      Uh, it's kind of creepy thinking how this might be "informative"

      --
      The world is made by those who show up for the job.
    2. Re:UNIX Developers to SCO: by ThousandStars · · Score: 4, Funny
      I guess I've been beaten to the headline inversion jokes:

      UNIX Developers to SCO: We want you dead.

      UNIX Developers to SCO: Lick our nuts.

      UNIX Developers who are channeling Steve Ballmer to SCO: Go fuck yourself. (Throw chair)

  9. Well... by Cleon · · Score: 5, Funny

    You gotta give 'em credit. It looks like SCO is finally trying to produce something more substantial than subpoenas.

    --
    Gifts for Geeks - Stuff that really matters!
  10. Maybe Darl has something... by Target+Practice · · Score: 5, Funny

    Those darn CRN folks, always leaving parts of the quotes out. Here's a reprint, I put Darl's original comments missing from the report in '[]'.

    "During the last 25 years, SCO has been committed to [destroying the reputability of] the Unix platform and continues to reaffirm its commitment [to make fools of ourselves while the rest of the world actually accomplishes something useful]," Darl McBride, SCO president, said in a teleconference Tuesday morning.

    I applaud him for finally admitting what his company has been doing. Of course, he can shove his BMWs up his /dev/null.

    --
    There's a 68.71% chance you're right.
  11. bmw, huh? by vortigern00 · · Score: 5, Funny

    The winner of the bmw may notice that no matter how many times he washes it... it just won't come clean.

  12. Disappointing... by GillBates0 · · Score: 4, Funny
    SCO is also offering a 10-cylinder BMW car or a US$100,000 cash prize for the developers who use the toolkit to produce the best wireless applications

    I was kinda hoping they'd offer SCO Linux Licenses as the top prize. On the other hand, with $100K, you can buy 143 of them, at $699.00 each!!!

    --
    An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
  13. Ain't gonna do it by tommasz · · Score: 4, Funny

    I was almost intrigued enough to head over to SCO's site just to see what "biztones" are, but then I realized I don't have all afternoon to scrub my browser clean.

  14. Re:What a waste by malraid · · Score: 5, Funny

    SCO should make a reality show. A reality show about a company going to the ruin. Then we could get people to call in (1-900 number of course) to decide who they are going to sue next. I'm sure it'll be a hit. In fact, I'm of to the patent office right now. That's about the only way I see them making any money.

    --
    please excuse my apathy
  15. Two bottles of whining. by SlashdotTroll · · Score: 5, Funny

    two re-hired SCO developers telnet to the SCO server after a night in the basement.

    arroot: so...
    SCOdev: what?
    arroot: how 'bout scheduling a grep job to see if there is any SCO IP in Linux?
    SCOdev: are you crazy?  what if the server is logging and the resource throttle triggers an alarm to the CEO?
    arroot: but I love you so much.
    SCOdev: it's too risky.
    arroot: pleeeeease?

    *login*

    IBMdev: SEC said it's "ok" to give the AIX repository a grep job, or SEC will come down to perform a grep job, or I can do it.  But for Gates' sakes don't use /bin/wall to echo your chat to all the terminals.

    --

    I am the nightmare of nightmares.

  16. Not me by waif69 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I still have SCO on 5 1/4" disks. Now if I can only find my 5 1/4" drive...