Slashdot Mirror


String Theory a Disaster for Physics?

BlueCup writes "Mathematician Peter Woit of Columbia University describes string theory in his book Not Even Wrong,. He calls the theory 'a disaster for physics.' Which would have been a fringe opinion a few years ago, but now, after years of string theory books reaching the best sellers list, he has company."

22 of 737 comments (clear)

  1. Man... by bcat24 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Some people really get tied in a knot about stuff like this.

    1. Re:Man... by Tx · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah, it feels like these scientists are just stringing us along.

      --
      Oh no... it's the future.
    2. Re:Man... by Bruce+Perens · · Score: 5, Funny

      I get a hadron just thinking about it.

    3. Re:Man... by Surt · · Score: 4, Funny

      We recently hired someone who worked at the LHC, and the company email that went out (small company announces all new hires) made that very obvious misspelling. Much hilarity ensued.

      --
      "Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
    4. Re:Man... by cgenman · · Score: 5, Funny

      What a charmingly strange thing to say.

    5. Re:Man... by snuf23 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Ack, it makes my brane hurt.

      --
      Sometimes my arms bend back.
    6. Re:Man... by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 5, Funny

      The jokes are either funny, or unfunny. They cannot be half-funny. And you'll never know until you load the page. Heisenjokes.

      --
      Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
    7. Re:Man... by Marsala · · Score: 4, Funny

      But it does add a whole new dimension to the conversation.

    8. Re:Man... by Fred_A · · Score: 3, Funny

      Quarky ? I'm a frayed knot...

      --

      May contain traces of nut.
      Made from the freshest electrons.
  2. They should have by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    asked a ninja.

  3. The simple answer is... by manx801 · · Score: 5, Funny

    There exists a universe in which major advances in Phyics would have been made if so many smart scientists were not distracted by String Theory.

    1. Re: The simple answer is... by Black+Parrot · · Score: 4, Funny

      > There exists a universe in which major advances in Phyics would have been made if so many smart scientists were not distracted by String Theory.

      Of course, there also exists a universe in which string theory is correct.

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
    2. Re: The simple answer is... by honkycat · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, no, it's a common misconception that an infinite number of universe implies that everything is possible somewhere. In contrast, there is a great number of invariants -- things that are so fundamental to the inner workings of the physics that governs the multiverse that they are equally and absolutely true in any of the billions of alternate universes. I'm pretty sure you just identified four of them. You should publish.

  4. Re:A Powerful Theory by ZombieWomble · · Score: 5, Funny
    Does string theory explain how its own effects are able to reach back in time a decade before its creation?

    Rather elegantly, in fact, by postulating the existance of a universe where "took off" is not a synonym for "created".

  5. Re:Gravitons by fimbulvetr · · Score: 4, Funny

    A little coaxing of the numbers, and string theory could prove the existance of Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and Jesus.
    BFD.

  6. Trust by Oligonicella · · Score: 5, Funny

    Never trust anyone who makes up dimensions to make the math work.

  7. New Hollywood Movie: All Tied Up & Strung Alon by 22RealMcCoy · · Score: 5, Funny

    http://physicsmathforums.com/showthread.php?t=56

    Tied Up & Strung Out: Hollywood String Theory Movie!!! Looking For Extras!!!

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

    ALL TIED UP & STRUNG ALONG, a movie about String Theorists and their expansive theories which extend human ignorance, pomposity, and frailty into higher dimensions, is set to start filming this fall. Jessica Alba, John Cleese, Eugene Levie, Jackie Chan, and David Duchovney of X-files fame have all signed on to the $700 million Hollywood project, which is still cheaper than String Theory itself, and will likely displace less physicists from the academy.

    "As contemporary physics is about money, hype, mythology, and chicks," Ed Witten explained from his offices at the Princeton Institute for Advanced Study, "The next logical step was Hollywood, although I thought Burt Reynolds should play me instead of Eugene Levy."

    Brian Greene, the famous String Theorist who will be played by David "the truth is out there" Duchovney, explained the plot: "String theory's muddled, contorted theories that lack postulates, laws, and experimentally-verified equations have Einstein spinning so fast in his grave that it creates a black hole. In order to save the world, we String Theorists have to stop reformulating String Theory faster than the speed of light. We are called upon to stop violating the conservation of energy by mining higher dimensions to publish more BS than can accounted for with the Big Bang alone, and I win the Nobel prize for showing that M-Theory is in fact the dark matter it has been searching for."

    Greene continues: "At first my character is reluctant to stop theorizing and start postulating, but when my love interest Jessica Alba is sucked into the black hole, I search my soul and find Paul Davies there, played by John Cleese. I ask him what he's doing in my soul, and he explains that the answer is contained in the mind of God, which only he is privy too, but for a small fee, some tax and tuition dollars, a couple grants here and there, and an all-expense-paid book tour with stops in Zurich and Honolulu, he can let me in on it. And he shows me God in all her greater glory, as he points out that we can make more money in Hollywood than writing coffee-table books that recycle Einstein, Bohr, Dirac, Feynman, and Wheeler. I am quickly converted, and I agree to turn my back on String Theory's hoax and save Jessica Alba."

    But it's not that easy, as standing in Greene's way is Michio "king of pop-theory-hipster-irony-the-theory-of-everything- or-anything-made-
    you-read-this" Kaku, played by Jackie Chan. Kaku beats the crap out of Greene for alomst blowing the "ironic" pretense his salary, benefits, and all-expense paid trips depend on. "WE MUST HOLD BACK THE YOUNG SCIENTISTS WITH OUR NON-THEORIES!! WE MUST FILL THE ACADEMY WITH THE POMO DARK MATTER THAT IS STRING THEORY TO KEEP OUR UNIVERSE FROM FLYING APART, OUR PYRAMID SCHEMES FROM TOPPLING, AND OUR PERPETUAL-MOTION NSF MONEY MACHINE FROM STOPPING!!" Kaku argues as he delivers a flying back-kick, "There can be ony ONE! I WILL be String Theory's GODFATHER as referenced on my web page!! I have better hair!"

    But Greene fights back as he signs his seventeenth book deal to make the hand-waving incoherence of String Theory accessible to the South Park generation, senior citizens, and starving chirldren around the world. "Kaku! Kaku! (pronounced Ka-Kaw! Ka-Kaw! like Owen Wilson did in Bottle Rocket)," Greene shouts. "It is theoretically impossible to build a coffee tables strong enough to support any more coffee-table physics books!!!"

    "Time travel is also theoretically impossible, but there's a helluva lot more money for us in flushing physics down a wormhole. Nobody knows what the #&#%&$ M stands for in M theory ya hand-waving, TV-hogging crank!!! Get it?? Ha Ha Ha! We're laughing at the public! We're the insider pomo hipsters! Get with the gangsta-wanksta-pranksta CRANKSTER

  8. Re:the universe by Cheapy · · Score: 3, Funny

    No no no, I've seen this before. It's "12345".

    --
    Would you kindly mod me +1 insightful?
  9. Re:String Theory by Stalyn · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sounds like a cut-n-run philosophy. I think it's better to stay-the-course with String Theory.

    --
    The best education consists in immunizing people against systematic attempts at education. - Paul Feyerabend
  10. Let's be thankful for string theory by engineerofsorts · · Score: 3, Funny

    Fellow engineers, nerds, and other three/four-dimensional entities, Let us all be thankful for string theory: 1.) This keeps a large number of intelligent people studying fizziks, and out of the engineering and programming market. 2.) As e.e. cummings said: listen:there's a hell of a good universe next door;let's go

    --
    Life is tough. Life is even tougher when you're stupid.
  11. Re:The meaning of "theory" by spune · · Score: 5, Funny

    The main problem I have with ST is that in its attempts to unify QFT with GR, the WGT becomes much too ambiguous with regard to WGO. Does our universe even qualify as proper SFU? And does ST demonstrate HTAW? Our universe, being ASLOM could be considered little more than a running simulation in the light of TBNT. The RFLN of alternate landscapes may not even BCWN; to assume there is a limit to their VPIN is shakey.

  12. Ritchie would be disappointed by SpanishArcher · · Score: 3, Funny

    Honestly, I don't see the need for a String Theory. Weren't the good old char array good enough?

    --
    640KB of virtualized ram will be enough for everybody