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Networked Landmines Work Together
crazedpilot writes "New landmines will soon communicate via a radio network, and move from place to place in order to be most effective." Termed the "self-healing minefield", the individual mines are capable of detecting an enemy breach and then moving to seal the gap.
That's easy. When they get low on power and sense somebody walking nearby, they leap onto their face and inject a cache of minefield-embryos into their belly. Within about a day or so, the host explodes, scattering a brand new fully-charged minefield where the enemy least expects it!
Microsoft has finally come up with a new feature to be packaged with the next version of the popular Microsoft Windows operating system, commonly known as "Windows Vista." Apparently, Microsoft plans to include a new game called "Minesweeper 2" with Vista. A Microsoft spokesman described it as "original Minesweeper, except now the mines can move around and stuff. Really, it'll be cool! We promise!"
The gaming community has had a divided response. One camp is not impressed with the new offering, and is quoted on their blog as saying, "Well, [expletive deleted] that! Where the [expletive deleted] is our [expletive deleted] Halo 2 for PC?" Other gamers were enthused about the new game, praising its innovative style and promise of quality gameplay. Says one independent reviewer, "Well, it will be here before Duke Nukem Forever, right?"
~ C.
An old comment of mine from when someone mentioned this a few years ago:
> The mines decide as a group what configuration is best and then move to fill the gap.
I wonder how they go about deciding...
"Okay, Frank...hop over into that gap right there."
"Shit, no! Larry just got run over by a TANK! Did you see that shit? You hop into the gap, asshole!"
There's an international ban on the use of bowling balls in any context in warfare. Don't you know about the great bowler rebellion of '03? :-P
Actually, "the fastest way to clear a minefield is to march troops over it" according to a famous WWII era russian commander.
Erotic is when you use a feather. Exotic is when you use the whole chicken.
1. Armenia - in a bad neighborhood
2. Azerbaijan - in a bad neighborhood
3. Bahrain - how many do they need? One?
4. Burma - never fight a land war in Asia
5. China - don't they have that "great wall" thingy to keep the Mongolians out?
6. Cuba - paranoid
7. Egypt - in a bad neighborhood
8. Finland - don't trust the Russians
9. Georgia - in a bad neighborhood
10. India - should really focus on sea mines- no one's gonna hump it over the himalayas to attack. Too many Yeti.
11. Indonesia - really only used to automatically clear palm trees that fall on the beaches during typhoon season
12. Iran - paranoid
13. Iraq - they just got a new government- who knows? They may sign on (despite the bad neighborhood).
14. Israel - in a really really bad neighborhood. Wouldn't you?
15. Kazakhstan - in a bad neighborhood
16. Korea, North - paranoid
17. Korea, South - hardly blame 'em
18. Kuwait - probably don't need 'em any more. Not like Iraq is gonna invade again
19. Kyrgyzstan - don't need 'em. Nobody knows where they are.
20. Lao PDR - never fight a land war in Asia
21. Lebanon - too late, the Syrians have already infiltrated
22. Libya - probably still a bit paranoid
23. Marshall Islands - see Indonesia, supra
24. Micronesia - see Indonesia, supra
25. Mongolia - don't they have that Great Wall thingy to keep the Chinese in?
26. Morocco - not the greatest neighborhood
27. Nepal - must be really hard to place 'em- they keep sliding down the mountains. Regardless- no one in their right mind is gonna mess with the Gurkhas. Or the Yeti. But mainly the Gurkhas.
28. Oman - OK, maybe they need as many as two.
29. Pakistan - in a bad neighborhood
30. Palau - see Indonesia, supra (the palm trees thing)
31. Poland - don't trust the Russians
32. Russian Federation - don't trust the Finns or the Poles
33. Saudi Arabia - having a hard time finding other ways to spend their money
34. Singapore - they'll probably cane you for stepping on one and messing up the beach
35. Somalia - No government is currently available to sign treaties, please call again.
36. Sri Lanka - Arthur C. Clarke is a fiesty old devil- gotta keep him in line.
37. Syria - paranoid
38. Tonga - see Indonesia, supra
39. Tuvalu - see Indonesia, supra
40. United Arab Emirates - see Bahrain, supra
41. United States - right. As soon as we sign that Kyoto thing, we'll get back to you.
42. Uzbekistan - in a bad neighborhood
43. Vietnam - why that "never fight a land war in Asia" rule exists
I came, I saw, I left. It looked better in the brochure.
Of course you can tell the mine the war is over, but will it really want to self-destruct?
What happens when the mine "chooses" not be inactivated?
Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
iHOP landmines?
Does the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity landmine explode with deliciousness when you step on it?
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
Self-deactivating is probably doable. Cow-friendly land mines would only result in the deployment of militarized cows...
I don't care if it's 90,000 hectares. That lake was not my doing.
Do the mines come with source code?
Imagine a Beowulf cluster... hey, wait, you have a self-healing Beowulf cluster!
Note to self: taunt NetBSD crowd about not having a "landmine" port.
Didn't Theo say something about OpenBSD being free to use for operating a baby mulching machine? Linux can do it!