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DARPA Developing 'Droid' Satellites
eliot1785 writes "DARPA is now developing a new breed of satellites that can be precision-maneuvered in unison and easily perform advanced operations with built-in sensors, computers and thrusters. From the article: 'David Miller, director of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Space Systems Laboratory, says such satellites might be used for such tasks as building giant space telescopes and closely monitoring Earth. The shuttle Discovery last week delivered the second of three satellite test "droids" that are undergoing experiments at the International Space Station.'"
I think we've got nothing, sir. The report is only a fragment from a probe droid in the Gulf states, but it's the best lead we've had.
Donald RUMSFELD
[ irritated ]
We have thousands of probe droids searching Iraq. I want justification, not proof!
POWELL
The visuals indicate oil, but no terrorists.
RUMSFELD
We could make it mean anything. As long as we ignored every other lead...
POWELL
But, sir, Iraq is supposed to be devoid of terrorists.
Lord BUSH
You found something?
RUMSFELD
Yes, my lord.
[ He points to a blurry image of an oil well on a monitor ]
BUSH
That's it. The terrarists are there.
POWELL
My lord, there are so many uncharted settlements. It could be smugglers, it could be...
BUSH
That is the system. And I'm sure bin Laden is with them. Set your course for Baghdad. General POWELL, prepare your men.
John
With this technology, rogue nations and other terrorist organizations can't time and wait for our spy satellites to pass by and not have their nefarious schemes being watched.
Hopefully this will also speed up the time the intelligence agencies can spy on a place when a crisis or situation occurs.
These nine pound balls of your spacial tax dollars could become:
1) garbage collectors for all the space junk out there in orbit around us
2) a new and interesting way of getting rid of those pesky competing satellites
3) spiffy stratosphere-bouncing little comm links
4) ways to make sure that Indian satellites don't achieve orbit
5) new and interesting ways of avoiding Azimov's Laws of Robots-- including the Zeroeth Law
It was inevitable.
---- Teach Peace. It's Cheaper Than War.
OBI-N LADEN: These are not the droids you're looking for. *handwave*
PREDATOR DRONE: No, but this drone is looking for you. *boom*
OBI-N LADEN: That sucked. Oh well, being a blue glowie in paradise isn't so bad. Yo Yallah, how about the 72 virgins?
YALLAH: Get the message, you did not. Raisins, I promised.
OBI-N LADEN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
DARTH VADER: Thats my line, idiot.
Help poke pirates in the eyepatch, arr.
From the article: 'David Miller, director of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Space Systems Laboratory, says such satellites might be used for such tasks as building giant space telescopes and closely monitoring Earth.
Or the obvious use for DARPA, destroying other satellites. (Conveniently left off the list.)
The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
...they weren't the droids I was looking for.
What are 'druid' satellites? Do they go around in the sky casting spells?
Oh wait, that was droid. Never mind.
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
If they don't make the "DREGALARABADRAB-DEAGALARBAB" sound like they did in Star Wars, I'll bee disappointed no matter what the scientific outcome.
Yeah - "might": just about as plausible as defending the Earth from the FSM, or killing the Ori, or letting us know when the Vogons arrive. WTF - don't we already have sufficient technology for satellites that can "closely" monitor the Earth?
More likely they'll just end-up being more orbital junk endangering something-or-other or making pretty, bright flashes when they de-orbit. Yeah, Miller - keep finding gov't funding for practically anything for MIT or else the management might look for someone who can.
"It's time to take life by the cans." ~ Bender ("Bendin' in the Wind", ep. 3-13)
I can't believe that joke hasn't been posted yet.
Enjoy your Karma, after all you earned it. Feel your Karma Joe, feel it burn.
How are these droids? 'Droid is short for Android, as in a human-shaped robot. And while this definition may not hold fast in a galaxy far, far away, it most definately does for us. Why not just say "Robot?"
In Soviet Russia, backwards is everything.
What?
I'm a Muslim student of theology (and a SW Eng..go figure) and the article you just linked to only makes a rubbish postulation in the end by reference to a clueless orientalist. He says if we read the words in Syriac (as opposed to Arabic) then the virgins become raisins. Well done Sherlock. If you read it in swahili Muhammad becomes Bill Gates. And if you want a clear cut argument:
"We have revealed it an Arabic Quran, that you may reflect"
God didn't promise raisins to those who fight in his Cause, and he didn't offer absolute happiness in heaven to those who blow themselves up in cafeterias with families inside having breakfast.
Thanks for the joke anyway.
...start developing their own ideas, and not just turn science fiction movies props into toys? Sure, Arthur C Clarke had some pretty good ideas (having a goal to make realistic things in the first place -- what Star Wars never had), but even trying to make something that looks like a shuttle from "2001" movie ended up a rather suboptimal vehicle (that was obsolete in a *real* 2001, leave alone now).
Can anyone please tell us, what would be the projected lifetime of those things in open space with ways of storing energy/fuel that are going to be available within 10-15 years? That means, no thermonuclear shit, thermonuclear was 25 years away for 50 years already, thankyouverymuch.
What about precision of movement while performing any operation that a drunk guy in a space suit over another space suit over pajamas won't do better? How many times the expected mass of that thing is going to increase to be able to use a screwdriver? Hello anyone? Did anyone think about any relevant technical issues at all, or the goal was to make a prop for "Star Wars VII: Palpatine Is Still Alive, Dammit" to be shot entirely on ISS (and released exclusively there, too)?
Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.