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Phantom Lapboard On Sale August 15th
MBraynard writes "No idea when they are launching the actual console, Infinium Labs has announced that in under a month, they will start selling the Phantom Lapboard from their online store. They have even found a partner to help sell the Lapboard in Europe." From the article: "The Company has commissioned Touchwood, a solutions-oriented, technology- based strategic marketing communications firm based in St. Louis, to plan and implement major revisions to the design and content of the [Phantom] website. The website revisions will incorporate direct marketing capabilities including an online merchant store to support business to consumer and business to business transactions with credit card banking services."
From TFA: The Phantom Lapboard is an innovative peripheral that enables players to control games designed for keyboard and mouse usage with as much agility as they are used to in the office, from the comfort of the couch or easy chair. The Lapboard rotates for left- and right-handed users and also inclines on a 30-degree angle with a hard surface below for the Phantom Mouse. The device is wireless and provides USB and headphone/microphone ports. The Phantom Lapboard interchangeable key-face technology is designed for game-specific and business software applications.
Neither article has a picture. Visit http://www.phantom.net/ for that.
When I first tried to view this article, I got the famous "Nothing to see here. Please move along." message. Has this ever been more apropos?
I'll believe that infiniumlabs actually produced a product when I see it in the store with a pricetag and a demo unit functional next to it... until then, its smoke and mirrors.
From their website: The Phantom Lapboard allows for easy use while seated in the living room.
Aren't they supposed to be trying to capture the attention of their audience? Can't you easily use pretty much any gaming console, or a pc for that matter, while sitting in your living room? Tell me something a bit more interesting on the front page of your main site.
Dear god, they get a shitty idea/execution and charismatically push their way into countless millions of dollars in investment, but can't seem to even sell a rebadged product with any degree of skill.
Phantom Lapboard on sale? August 15th. Purchased by me? Never. I don't care how super nifty kewl Infinium makes their products out to be, they're still not getting any of my money.
Thank you, drive through.
"Apparently so, but suppose you throw a coin enough times. Suppose one day, it lands on its edge."
Did anyone else read "Torchwood" instead of "Touchwood" at first glance? No wonder they were being so secretive about the project. I thought for a second Infinium Labs was working with alien technology provided by the British government.
Okay, so I did RTFA. This is a press release that they have a new web designer that's good at ecommerce. Oh, and they happen to need this new website because they've got this keyboard they want to sell. Yeah.
I'm stuck between a healty WTF and a "who gives a shit?"
Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
I thought this got pushed back to February 30th...
"the Company will launch its online merchant store on Tuesday, August 15 to support the marketing and sales of the Phantom® Lapboard"
So, they announced that they are going to have a website that supports the marketing of the Lapboard. Nothing here actually tells us that they will sell the Lapboard on 8/15, just that they will show us their website.
The whole press release reads like an ad for Touchwood, and certainly has the requisite number of buzzwords, but if you can buy a Lapboard from www.phantom.net on August 15, 2006 I will be very surprised.
and I bet it has a motion sensitive lightgun controller or something crazy like that, too!
Also, anyone care to tell me what a lapboard is?
They have almost a month to get their vaporizer working again and turn this thing back into another neverending promise.
I strongly believe in this company... and I believe they can find a way to delay it, production problems, website problems. Please, Infinium Labs, don't disappoint me now!
sig.
I can't see how they think this Lapboard is more worthwhile than a standard keyboard. I've been perfectly fine with the keyboard on the coffee table when playing online console games, and see little reason to change this. Given that most console games that necessitate a keyboard to a degree try to avoid making too much use of the peripheral, with the exception of MMOs, it's difficult to justify paying for a specialized device like this. Maybe if people were surfing the web, but most people are just as happy to walk to their computer than insist on keeping their butt firmly attached to the sofa on that matter.
I would never, EVER hire a marketing firm that would name themselves "Touchwood".
This "news" item is from June 6. If no one cared about it six weeks ago, why would they care now?
If Infinium Labs can actually produce a good product that makes them money, more power to them. If it's good enough (and reasonably priced) I might even buy it. Of course, those are some very big ifs for a company that hasn't produced anything yet but hot air.
You are reading a copy of my copyrighted post.
what no "I blew through 25 million dollars and all I got was this lousy keyboard tray" t-hirts??
Ladies and gentlemen, it's a plank.
.... It doesn't even have a face drawn on it.
It's a plank, that's bent in half.
Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned
Yes, the company's main product may be beaten to the punch by XBox live arcade at best and vaporware at worst, but they found a real problem and attempted to create a real solution. Every wireless keyboard/mouse combo I've ever used is totally unsuitable for gaming while sitting on a couch.
If this thing ever comes out, and it's priced right (under $100,) I'll think about picking one up only because there are no good alternatives. Erm, the lapboard, not the Phantom.
...Touchwood marketing a lapboard?
Makes me titter sophomorically.
How they have any money left to spend, I have no idea. But if they are actually going to sell it, then great!
I mean, the one thing I've heard that's positive about the Phantom is that the lapboard is actually a good idea that people might buy.
I think I remember the Penny Arcade people saying this.
Of course, there's a chance that they're using this as a method to scare up more investment dollars for the Phantom, so they might not be selling it. Even so, taking everything this company says with a few thousand tons of salt, they could actually sell something...
Beyond the Polygons : Because 50,000 polygo
I was almost about to whip out the credit card ready for the event when I realized this wasn't the keyboard I thought it was. I got it confused with the Optimus keyboard, the one with a color TFT in every single key for key redefinition :) This one looks kinda dull. Bah :(
Boy I love that, so hyped about this first step towards releasing the Phantom that will dominate over everything! Just check out those screenshots from last year's 2004 E3 they have linked to on the front page.... hey... wait a minute...
Anybody else in the least bit concerned about buying anything from this company with their track record? I can see it now, Average User sends this company their credit card info, gets nothing in return except their identity stolen. COme to think of it, I just might do that, if my identity was stolen it would be an improvement.
...the lapboard will be some sort of specialty hardware only supported by Duke Nukem Forever running under Windows Vista.
The phantom website has little more than some blurry pictures of an E-3 event and some obscure pictures of their Lapboard. Heck their stock quote link doesn't even work properly. Why do people still care?
Let's dissect this...
"...solutions-oriented, technology-based strategic marketing communications firm..." Translation: A high-tech advertising firm.
"...to plan and implement major revisions to the design and content of the website." Translation: redesign their website.
"...incorporate direct marketing capabilities including an online merchant store to support business to consumer and business to business transactions with credit card banking services." Translation: Add a web store.
Wow. That is one of the most marketing-driven statements I have seen in a long time. Hurrah to Phantom! They're finally going to release.... Uh... Something.
Another non-functioning site was "uncertainty.microsoft.com."
The purpose of that site was not known.
I can think of a reason why their stock link doesn't work, at the very least: embarassing results. Infinium Labs is a literal penny stock.
3DRealms has announced that the first game to run on the Phantom console will be "Duke Nukem Forever." When asked as to a release date, they answered "When It Is Done."
What year?
A cardboard box... some duct tape....
And why do the leadershit teams at companies like touchwood that work with Tim Roberts companies (Infinium) always have people that work for him on them?
I can't believe it took THAT many comments for someone to riff on the name.
+++ATH0
No joke here. Infinium labs continues to give marketing (in a scamming way) lessons. They have found a way to draw capital without researching/producing/contrubuting to anything. While we laugh at them and getting +5 funny for our comments, I guess they are +10 funny for laughing back at us since they are 70mil $$$$$$$ richer. Enough talk! Back to coding and back to begging to sell my working product for food.
If you click on any of the investor related links they refer to IFLB as the ticker symbol. Well, IFLB is gone and Infinium is now a IFLB.OB toy stock, trading at $0.015.
I know where my savings are going!