Slashdot Mirror
AOL Digs Up Yard for Spam Gold
Registered Coward v2 writes "AOL is planning to dig in a MA couple's yard looking for buried gold and platinum owned by a spammer they successfully sued for spamming AOL. AOL said Tuesday it intends to search for gold and platinum bars the company suspects are hidden near the home of Davis Wolfgang Hawke's parents on two acres in Medfield, Massachusetts. The family said it will fight in court to oppose AOL's plans."
23473437 Gold
23473437 Platinum
23473437 Me too!!!!11!!!one!!
23473437 Gold Rush
23473437 Pirates
23473437 Pirates -Caribbean
23473437 Plunder
23473437 Spam
23473437 Spam Gold
23473437 how to stop spam
23473437 gold in Mrs Wolfgang Hawkes' backyard
23473437 gold in Mrs Wolfgang Hawkes' frontyard
23473437 gold in Mrs Wolfgang Hawkes' land
23473437 gold in Medfield fields
23473437 court fight
23473437 lawyers
23473437 lawyers -sco
23473437 how to kill your wife
23473437 how to kill customers
23473437 poop
liqbase
You're totally right. Hell, a couple months ago, my wife was bothering me: "We need a new barn! It's falling apart, for Darwins sake!" I kept telling her that we don't have the money for a new barn. Then it hit me: Tip off the FBI that Hoffa is buried under it.
My, how they came in droves. Destroyed the barn, including the foundation. And now, they're rebuilding it at tax payer expensive.
> "AOL said it will try to accommodate Hawke's parents by not being too obtrusive."
Now that's what I call an abundance of sensitivity!
man i don't know who to side against on this one, can't we rework this article to be like "innocent spam victim plans to take money back from evil spammer" or "AOL sues internet worker and destroys lawn looking for gold" man when the media isn't making it clear of what my opinion should be they're obviously not doing their job right
Shiver me timbers! Mateys, now on to digging for the hidden pirate's treasure!
I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem
It'll be worse than an invasion of moles (or whatever the local burrowing creatures are.)
I believe the burrowing creatures you refer to are known as lawyers.
liqbase
AOL move from data mining to actual mining
Is AOL really that strapped for money? To the point that they have to go digging it up? :)
AOL will not offer to pay for damages caused. However they will give them a one time discount of 50% on an AOL Broadband Platinum account for the first 3 months (Subject to a 12 month contract, standard terms, conditions and fair usage policy apply)
To err is human. To forgive is not company policy.
As you may have heard AOL is currently in the process of gold and platinum extraction from the lands of the Golde's estate.
We hear at Shark, Shark and Partners represent the Golde's estate. The estate firmly believe that the gold and platinum belong to people/s that have been victims of spam. Certainly not AOL.
with that in mind the estate would like to invite the public to be in a "treasure hunt". Unfortunately, due to obvious reasons, this cannot be open to all publics.
Hence we have selested a lucky few to be in the treasure hunt.
Only 400 has been invited.
Please reply to this e-mail to accept.
A processing fee of 20'000 will be required from each participant.
Yours truly.
Darl M.
P.s.. It's very sunny here in Chad. Hope to be vacationing with you next year here.
P.s.. A processing fee of 20'000 will be required from each participant. We are sure this ceratinly will be a drop
Timang tinggi tinggi
parang sudah asah
alang alang mandi
biar sampai basah
Not if I get there first.
**grabs shovel**
Am I the only person here who read the story and thought "Did I get up in a parrallel timeline today?" It is the most random thing ive ever seen. ISP's digging spammers gardens up to look for buried treasure? Watch out AOL, Im sure a producer will be on you to make a movie out of this. You just cant make this sort of stuff up.
No - that was on Law and Order: Bad Science.
No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
Are they trying to set a record for stuipd things in a month?
Well, the RIAA sued a dead person. Being number two I guess they feel they have to try harder.
KFG
Yeah we need some hi-res Google Earth photos, we could turn it into a battleships clone.
If this were really happening, what would you think?
Shhh. quiet. You might get bob_robertson's attention and he may respond about 'taking money from me at gunpoint' and/or any other libertarian mumbo-jumbo. *me ducks* ;)
Dear Sir,
This is Davis Wolfgang Hawke, an ex-spammer that lost a $12 million lawsuit from AOL, who are going to seize my $6 million in gold and platinum bars that I've hidden in the area of Boston, MA.
I need to recover the gold bars as soon as possible, before the AOL investigators get a chance to dig them up, however, I am unable to come back to US in fear of being arrested.
To this end, I'm seeking your cooperation. I'm willing to provide you with 10% share of the fortune, which is $600,000 dollars (sig hundred thousand dollars) in gold and platinum bars. Please, this business is extremely urgent and I will need your cooperation soon. I know you are a honest person, because I found your name in one of my extensively verified spam-lists, and I would like to conduct this business with you. You can remain confident that this business is completely safe as there is no risk for you whatsoever, only gains to be made. If you are willing to make this business with me, contact me at grep_shmep_20143@yahoo.com.
Best Regards,
Davis
It's Nazi Gold.
The sweetest loot of all.
come for the naked robots, stay for the zombies
1) Declare Hunting Season open
2) Invite Dick Cheney
3) Invite AOL to come dig
4) Make commemorative buttons
5) Profit - Earn more than buried treasure is worth
(ducks)
Reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.
Well if they use a potato fork, AOL could be the most lucrative Gold Farmers in history.
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. --Mark Twain
[AOL]: Level 60 Undead Rogue - Hawke's Mom's Backyard
:)
I always figured AOL for a Tauren myself. Big, slow-moving, funny looking, and not a whole lot of INT.
.sig: Now legally binding!
(Found here)
Just make sure you tell them that you think the bars are buried under those big rocks you've been wanting to remove from the garden
"Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
They only got half the medalion! The staff was too long. They're digging in the wrong place!
http://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cgi?file=kgb.txt
The phone rings at KGB headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this KGB?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the
State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood."
"This will be noted."
Next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz's house. They search
the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no
diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.
The phone rings at Rabinovitz's house.
"Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"
"Yes."
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yes, they did."
"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."
Slashdot is proof that Sturgeon's Law applies to mankind.
If I knew that AOL was coming with bulldozers to dig in my yard, I would go out and get a couple hundred ingots of iron and bury them around my yard at random. Maybe also buy a few junk cars and park them around the yard.
-Matt
Greenbaum said her husband and father intend to challenge AOL's plans to dig on the family's property...
Hmmm, husband AND father? This doesn't sound like MA to me. Perhaps an embedded clue to where the treasure is really buried -- Kentucky!
...for nomoreaolcds.com to get rid of a huge bunch of AOL-Platinum-Membership- and AOL-Gold-Membership-CDs.
Just offer that poor family for a nominal fee of only $1M to bury their (at this point) 399176 AOL-CDs and wait for the big fun.
I think people should send the family all those AOL Gold and Platinum spam cds they used to send out to bury all over their backyard for a laugh.