AOL Digs Up Yard for Spam Gold

Registered Coward v2 writes "AOL is planning to dig in a MA couple's yard looking for buried gold and platinum owned by a spammer they successfully sued for spamming AOL. AOL said Tuesday it intends to search for gold and platinum bars the company suspects are hidden near the home of Davis Wolfgang Hawke's parents on two acres in Medfield, Massachusetts. The family said it will fight in court to oppose AOL's plans."

Comments

obligatory....

[LiquidCoooled]

23473437 Gold
23473437 Platinum
23473437 Me too!!!!11!!!one!!
23473437 Gold Rush
23473437 Pirates
23473437 Pirates -Caribbean
23473437 Plunder
23473437 Spam
23473437 Spam Gold
23473437 how to stop spam
23473437 gold in Mrs Wolfgang Hawkes' backyard
23473437 gold in Mrs Wolfgang Hawkes' frontyard
23473437 gold in Mrs Wolfgang Hawkes' land
23473437 gold in Medfield fields
23473437 court fight
23473437 lawyers
23473437 lawyers -sco
23473437 how to kill your wife
23473437 how to kill customers
23473437 poop

Re:obligatory....

[MoxFulder]

Dear Friend,

I know this letter may come as a surprise to you, but I am in desperate need and have heard that you can be trusted in these matters. I am Mrs. Susan Johnson Hawke, mother of Davis Wolfgang Hawke, who has been wrongly accused of spamming by the tyrannical United States government in concert with the scheming Internet giant, America Online.

A few months ago, sensing that the authorities were preparing to imprison him, my son Davis concealed a cache of precious metal bars on our rural Massachussetts property. He made me promise not to reveal their location to anyone except in case of greatest emergency.

Now, the health of my son Davis is in great danger. Prison authorities will not pay for his care, and demand that I do so. His h3@lth is bad and he is unable to 5.A.T.1.5.F.Y his lovers all night long with his man h00d... he desperately needs V1@grA and CailIs sofTabs. He is also gaining weight and absolutely needs some fat-burning Hoodia, now for low-price and risk-free for only $29.95.

Will you help me save my son??? I have dug up the metal bars from our land, but tragically they have been transformed from their original lustrous gold and platinum sheen, to a dull-gray color. I need to purchase a large quantity of special chemicals in order to transform the sticken ingots and restore them to their original condition, so that I may sell them and get the money I desperately need to help my son Davis Hawke.

If you can provide me with sufficient funds to purchase these chemicals, I will gladly reward you with 20% of the value of the gold and platinum bars once they have been sold. Please contact me if you are willing to do this, as it is a very urgent matter.

Blessedly,
Mrs. Susan Johnson Hawke

Re:Nothing to hide?

[Anonymous Coward]

You're totally right. Hell, a couple months ago, my wife was bothering me: "We need a new barn! It's falling apart, for Darwins sake!" I kept telling her that we don't have the money for a new barn. Then it hit me: Tip off the FBI that Hoffa is buried under it.

My, how they came in droves. Destroyed the barn, including the foundation. And now, they're rebuilding it at tax payer expensive.

Spammers vs AOL

[triorph]

man i don't know who to side against on this one, can't we rework this article to be like "innocent spam victim plans to take money back from evil spammer" or "AOL sues internet worker and destroys lawn looking for gold" man when the media isn't making it clear of what my opinion should be they're obviously not doing their job right

Re:X marks the spot

[LiquidCoooled]

It'll be worse than an invasion of moles (or whatever the local burrowing creatures are.)

I believe the burrowing creatures you refer to are known as lawyers.

How things change

[DrXym]

AOL move from data mining to actual mining

Damages

[thelonestranger]

AOL will not offer to pay for damages caused. However they will give them a one time discount of 50% on an AOL Broadband Platinum account for the first 3 months (Subject to a 12 month contract, standard terms, conditions and fair usage policy apply)

Re:Oh well

[kfg]

Are they trying to set a record for stuipd things in a month?

Well, the RIAA sued a dead person. Being number two I guess they feel they have to try harder.

KFG

Urgent business opportunity

[gsasha]

Dear Sir,

This is Davis Wolfgang Hawke, an ex-spammer that lost a $12 million lawsuit from AOL, who are going to seize my $6 million in gold and platinum bars that I've hidden in the area of Boston, MA.

I need to recover the gold bars as soon as possible, before the AOL investigators get a chance to dig them up, however, I am unable to come back to US in fear of being arrested.

To this end, I'm seeking your cooperation. I'm willing to provide you with 10% share of the fortune, which is $600,000 dollars (sig hundred thousand dollars) in gold and platinum bars. Please, this business is extremely urgent and I will need your cooperation soon. I know you are a honest person, because I found your name in one of my extensively verified spam-lists, and I would like to conduct this business with you. You can remain confident that this business is completely safe as there is no risk for you whatsoever, only gains to be made. If you are willing to make this business with me, contact me at grep_shmep_20143@yahoo.com.

Best Regards,
Davis

Fools

[Mephij]

They only got half the medalion! The staff was too long. They're digging in the wrong place!