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IBM to Buy ISS for $1.3 Billion

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the here-comes-the-licensing-shift dept.

gerald626 writes "IBM announced today that they have formed an agreement to purchase ISS for 1.3 billion dollars." From the article: " The all-cash transaction of about $28 per share is meant to bolster IBM's ability to deliver security services to corporations, the company said. ISS builds network protection products and services, including intrusion detection and monitoring tools. IBM said it intends to use ISS's expertise and software to provide more robust security-related services to its corporate customers."

25 of 219 comments (clear)

  1. Why would IBM... by Billosaur · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...want a space station? To spy on Redmond?

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    GetOuttaMySpace - The Anti-Social Network
    1. Re:Why would IBM... by ackthpt · · Score: 1, Funny

      ...want a space station? To spy on Redmond?

      I laughed. I cried. I read TFA.

      --

      A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
    2. Re:Why would IBM... by Lectrik · · Score: 2, Funny
      ...want a space station? To spy on Redmond?
      at least I wasn't the only one thinking that
      --
      --- As to make my comment seem, by comparison, more intelegent... doodie doodie doodie poop poop poop!
    3. Re:Why would IBM... by infolib · · Score: 3, Funny

      No, they want the cleaning company. (2005 revenue $8e9)

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced libertarian utopia is indistinguishable from government.
    4. Re:Why would IBM... by antek9 · · Score: 3, Funny

      RTFA, as in: Rolling on The Floor in Agony?

      --
      A World in a Grain of Sand / Heaven in a Wild Flower,
      Infinity in the Palm of your Hand / And Eternity in an Hour.
    5. Re:Why would IBM... by CAIMLAS · · Score: 2, Funny

      To complicate matters, I get ISS and IIS confused; I have to think which acronym is the station, and which one is the shitty web server.

      So, basically, I thought, "What...? How would IBM Purchasing Microsoft's web server improve security for anyone?! Unless they're going to burry it deep."

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    6. Re:Why would IBM... by nurb432 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Nah, they will paint it blue and white .. Billboard in space.

      --
      ---- Booth was a patriot ----
    7. Re:Why would IBM... by Richy_T · · Score: 3, Funny

      Too long. I suggest you abbreviate to TBYATFAYSU

      Rich

  2. Star Trek & IBM by AKAImBatman · · Score: 5, Funny
    IBM announced today that they have formed an agreement to purchase ISS for 1.3 billion dollars.


    IBM: This ISS, could it carry my wisdom beyond the Internet?

    Sybok: It could. Yes.

    IBM: Then I shall make use of this... ISS.

    Sybok: It will be your chariot!

    (Kirk politely raises his hand.)

    Kirk: Excuse me.

    IBM: It will carry my power to every corner of creation...

    Kirk: Excuse me! I'd just like to ask a question!

    (McCoy looks at Kirk like he just farted in church.)

    Kirk: Excuse me, but What does IBM need with a space station?
    --
    Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
    1. Re:Star Trek & IBM by rts008 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Awckk!
      I just spewed coffee all over my monitor, you insensetive clod!

      LOL! Very good post- funny, and gets back ontopic, yet is directly replying to offtopic posts. Well done, since I don't have mod points to give you now.

      I also thought of the space station reading the summary, but then RTFA- no, no space station was harmed (or even used) in creating this article.

      The article might have been more interesting if it was about IBM buying the space station- especially if they included Russia's response!

      --
      Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti
    2. Re:Star Trek & IBM by monoqlith · · Score: 2, Funny
      Kirk: Excuse me, but What does IBM need with a space station?


      No, no. You have it all wrong. The question Kirk asked was:

      Kirk: Excuse me.....but what.... does....IBMneed....with...aspacestation?
  3. You guys are so goofy! by RobertB-DC · · Score: 5, Funny

    Geez, everyone's telling the same lame "ISS" = "International Space Station" joke.

    It's just a typo! Haven't you figured that out yet? IBM simply bought IIS from Microsoft. I wonder if they'll make IIS run on Linux?

    --
    Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
  4. Re:I can see it now. by Snarfangel · · Score: 5, Funny

    There are going to be millions of mod point used on -1 Redundant.

    That's only because there isn't a -1 Obvious.

    Now, back to my job at NASA.

    --
    This tagline is copyrighted material. Please send $10 for an affordable replacement.
  5. Re:Nice headline by Intron · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yes. NASA gets $1.3B up front, but wait til they start getting the IBM service bills. Travel time alone ...

    --
    Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
  6. Re:Why would IBM... simple by Lumpy · · Score: 4, Funny

    IBM's decision to buy the ISS was a fantastic decision. They can now freely ignore the Sarbanes Oxlley laws as well as Monopoly and other laws in every country as the IBM headquarters will not be located in outer space making them immune to earth laws.

    Great move on the executives part!

    --
    Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  7. You mean it's not the REAL space station? by scottennis · · Score: 2, Funny

    Bad, wicked, naughty Zoot. She's been setting alight to our beacon, which, I just remembered, is space station shaped.

    It's not the first time this has happened.

    --
    Read any good sonnets lately?
  8. Re:Nice headline by SnowZero · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe in this case it would be wise to spell out the acronym,

    International Business Machines

    There, does that help?

  9. Now it's your turn... by Talennor · · Score: 2, Funny

    This is funny, because as someone who has worked for ISS (Internet Security Systems) and frequently reads Slashdot, I've found several articles confusing when people write about /the/ ISS (Space Station) and I think, "Wait, what the hell are we doing?" So I welcome you all to my world of ambiguousness, which won't exist much longer now that it's been bought...

    --

    //TODO: signature
  10. Back in the day... by OriginalArlen · · Score: 5, Funny

    when I first started working in infosec (5, 6 years ago) I spent a lot of time downloading and playing with the free trials for various vuln scanners - ISS, Retina, LANGuard and so on. I mentioned this to someone with more security experience who replied "ISS? It's Still Shit, right?"

    --

    Everything I needed to know about life, I learnt from Blake's Seven
  11. The real question is ... by kinglink · · Score: 1, Funny

    when is IBM putting a giant friking laser on the Space station?

  12. Obligatory by geobeck · · Score: 2, Funny

    We should eliminate acronyms altogether. They get in the way of comprehension.

    "Since the VP is such a VIP, maybe we should keep the PC on the QT. Otherwise he could go MIA, and we'd all end up on KP."

    Sounds perfectly nonobfuscationalized to me.

    --
    Find environmentally and socially responsible products on http://buy-right.net
    1. Re:Obligatory by geobeck · · Score: 2, Funny

      The phrase may be nonobfuscated, however your new-fangled word isn't ;-)

      Yeah, but the real word didn't seem... well, cromulent enough.

      I guess I could have gone for nonantidisobfuscationalizapated.

      --
      Find environmentally and socially responsible products on http://buy-right.net
  13. Re:Nice headline by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    ....soon to be "Interstellar Business Machines"!

  14. Re:Finally! A commercial reason for space habitats by arthurpaliden · · Score: 4, Funny

    It the start of the "B" Ark. Every one know where their towel is.

    --
    Undetectable Steganography? Yep, there's an app fo
  15. Re:Star Trek & IBM -- What are you talking abo by Ster · · Score: 4, Funny

    That sounds like it might have been between ST: IV and ST: VI, but we all know that there was no movie in between ST: IV and ST: VI .

    ...

    It didn't happen, okay!

    -Ster