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Microsoft's High School Opens in PA
Joopndufus writes to mention a CNN article about a Microsoft-planned high school, newly opened in the Philadelphia area. Funded entirely by that city's school system, Microsoft offered its management skills and personnel to design every aspect of the high-tech setting. From the article: "After three years of planning, the Microsoft Corp.-designed 'School of the Future' opened its doors Thursday, a gleaming white modern facility looking out of place amid rows of ramshackle homes in a working-class West Philadelphia neighborhood. The school is being touted as unlike any in the world, with not only a high-tech building -- students have digital lockers and teachers use interactive 'smart boards' -- but also a learning process modeled on Microsoft's management techniques."
Staff at the school were happy with how the opening day went, the pupils were welcomed in by a Brian Eno classic on the tannoy system.
This informed them that the tannoy system was working and it was now safe to enter the building.
However, once the day got underway things quickly went downhill in the English letter writing class.
"Dear aunt, let's set so double the killer delete select all,"
Meanwhile the gymnasium had to be rebooted twice after some children overloaded the basketball hoops.
Several pupils were stuck in the changing rooms for a few hours until the scandisk procedure managed to locate all the fragments of the key to unlock the door.
The music class was interrupted because someone brought in an illegal sample of a track in mp3 format and forgot to include a verification document from the parents of the original composer signed in blood.
On top of all these problems, the school is hunting for the person responsible for posting "goatse" on every single whiteboard, this shocking image appeared at 14:21 and remained on screen for 15 minutes whilst technicians located and removed it.
liqbase
Do they offer crash courses? Do all the windows have blue screens? Does every student get a clippy to help with their homework?
Ok, i'm done.
today is spelling optional day.
Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became a student owned by Microsoft
In West Philadelphia born and raised
On Slashdot where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And writing some code outside of the school
When a couple of guys said "we're up in no good"
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I hacked into one little computer and my mom got scared
And said "you're going to that new Microsoft High School"
You forgot Chair Throwing 101.
It replaced their Communications courses.
B: Yup.
A: When do you graduate?
B: I was supposed to graduate in 2002. But I got held back. Then it was supposed to be 2003, 2005, then 2006.
A: Yikes! Are you that dumb?
B: No, they just tried to teach me too much unnecessary stuff. They kept cutting classes out of the requirements hoping I'd make it.
A: So, when are you graduating?
B: Right now, they're saying 2007, but many think it'll be 2008 or later.
Unknown host pong.
So if you try to transfer to another school does the vice-principal throw a chair at you?
[Insert pithy quote here]
Interesting end time ... 4:19? Another sign of the "420" culture at Microsoft? LOL!
Ron
Isn't that how a lot of us got our surnames anyway? "smith" comes from a family of blacksmiths, "baker" comes from a baker, etc. What was once will be again, I guess. I'm not saying I think it would be a good thing, but it isn't new.
As a side note, "Bush" I believe comes from the long history of stupid twats in his family.
today is spelling optional day.
Microsoft management practices, eh?
Political correctness? The min-90s called. They want their scapegoat back.
...so before they can sit down, the kids will have to search the school to find where their chairs have landed.
And the principal will steal the core information from all of the textbooks to be used, change it so it doesn't crash their custom curriculum, then pay off the original publishers when they threaten to sue.
Students will only receive homework on the first Tuesday of every month, and only if they can prove that they are genuine students by showing the teacher their enrolment certificate.
Nah, I got nothin'.
Find environmentally and socially responsible products on http://buy-right.net
Do they have deadlines on assignments?
Graduation was expensively assured in two years but it will probably take six or so. The graduates will have minor, mostly cosmetic, improvements and be as reliable and trustworthy as any other Microsoft release. Some students, like Bob, will never make it.
Attempts to dominate gaming will produce a few interesting plays but will ultimately be an expensive distraction.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
the day starts at 9:15 a.m. and ends at 4:19 p.m., simulating the typical work day.
I usually come in at least 15 minutes late. I use the side door, that way Lumberg doesn't see me.
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
and bringing an Apple for the teacher gets you expelled...
I'd wait for Service Pack 1, myself, before deploying.
Would you prefer to stick with the current teaching system; modelled after Rockefellers management structure of his mills and factories? At least this school will require literacy...
;)
This is becoming simple MS bashing, akin to reflexive racism. ANY changes or contributions made by the private sector are a good thing. If we can start preparing children to work in the white collar sector rather than the blue collar, maybe there is a chance we can thin out the low-income population that you and I currently support!
As for MS donating $X to the school system: why don't you show them how it's done?
Sometimes, life itself is sarcasm...
CLIPPY!! He can help coach the team!
BOB!! The yellow face from the BOB OS!
BILLY GOAT!! With a face like Bill Gates who couldn't love him!
DEAD PENGUIN!! Picture a penguin that's been fucking killed by certain CEOs
BLUE SCREEN!! Nothing scares opposing teams like a looming crash!!
THE ARROW!! The cursor can run around "right clicking" on the opponents cheerleaders, if you know what I mean.
Because the way to teach someone to fish is by simply throwing lots and lots of fish at them?
No wait, that's not right....
-Styopa
High School is scheduled for four years by may take as much as six years to complete. Also occational upgrades may be required to correct factual errors in the lesson plans. The information they are taught may not be compatible with the rest of the world but if Microsoft becomes the dominant educator it won't matter because everyone else will need to be compatible with them. Unfortunately the students are likely to get some teasing over their new school mascot, Clippy the paperclip.
The principal holds a lunch meeting, and runs out on stage shouting,
"EDUCATORS! EDUCATORS! EDUCATORS!"
Your mind is clear / The things that you fear / Will fade with how much you / Believe what you hear
Sheesh! School of the futuer?? Sounds more like "How to be Hitler 101"
No, you want "School of the Fuehrer", two blocks down.
WASHINGTON, DC--President Bush announced Monday that he'll encourage Congress to back his new education initiative, the Microsoft Bob Left Behind Act. "It is my goal to close the achievement gap in our schools with accountability, flexibility, and choice, so that no child is left behind--except for Microsoft Bob of Redmond, WA," Bush said at a White House press conference. "By 2014, I plan to see a significant jump in the math, reading, and science proficiency of 99.9999 percent of America's students. The children, excluding Bob, are our future." Bush was inspired to leave Bob behind after the child threw up all over the merry-go-round last week. http://www.theonion.com/content/node/32934