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Why Johnny Can't Code
GoCanes writes "Salon has an article named 'Why Johnny Can't Code,' an interesting examination of the dearth of line programming languages available today. At first I wanted to read this and say aha, here's a simple line oriented language that's available through open source, but after reading the article I couldn't find any. And being an old fart, I remember the days spent with edlin and basic."
This article should be called "Why Johnny Can't Read Online Articles". :|
Registered Linux user #421033
Why, when I was a young programmer we had to write the code in the snow with our pee, and a compiler was just a word for the pilot of the hovering dirigible that read the instructions and passed them to the ALU, which was another fellow with an abacus. They would wrap the results around a rock, and drop it on my house when the program would exit. We had to walk uphill...
Content Management System: A pretentious way of saying "text editor."
You're missing the ^G to make it beep after every line.
Amateur.
If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
I have a CS degree and couple years experience and I wouldn't even know where to start to code myself out of a paper bag! :)
Because Johnny is an idiot:
* Johnny is the one at your company that has been working there for 10 years
* No one fires him becuase he "knows a lot of things about the process"
* Johnny talks about his technological exploits
* Eveyone else has to debug and fix Johnny's bugs
* He never asks the other developers any question on how to do something, for fear he will look inferior (too late Johhny!)
* AND WHEN YOU NEED A FREAKING IP ADDRESS FROM HIS PC???
You: "Johnny, can you get me your IP Address?"
Johnny fumbles around his desktop, going through all the Control Panel Options
You: "'ipconfig' Johnny"
Johnny: "EYE PEE CONFIG?"
You: "Yes, you know, the command prompt?"
Johnny: "What?"
You: "Never mind... what the status on your code module?"
Johnny: "Module??"
You: *head explodes*
When I was 8, the only code that I knew was load "*",8,1
... in the USA bother to learn to program? When Johnny grows up and wants a program, he can just hire a Viruru in India to do it for less than he pays Juan at Taco Bell to make his lunch.
Haha! What country do you live in, pal? because here in the UK there's laws agin that kind of thing! Kids buying knives? AND GLUE??? Are you living on Mars?
Why is it that many people who claim to support standards have such atrocious spelling and grammar?
If you want to get really advanced, you can make a FOR loop and Poke in a different text color for each one:
:)
10 FOR X=0 TO 15
20 POKE 646,X
30 PRINT "BIG TITS"
40 NEXT X
50 GOTO 10
*NOW* you have a good program.
Comment of the year