Slashdot Mirror
Fish Work as Anti-terror Agents
sdriver writes "San Francisco's bluegills went to work about a month ago, guarding the drinking water of more than 1 million people from substances such as cyanide, diesel fuel, mercury and pesticides. "There's no known manmade sensor that can do the same job as the bluegill." The New York City Department of Environmental Protection reported at least one instance in which the system caught a toxin before it made it into the water supply."
*mumbles something about preferring sharks with frikkin' laser beams*
I hate printers.
How do we know this isn't a red herring by some terroist group?
*ducks and runs*
Well when you think about it, they're really just super complex biological machines that built themselves so they're the perfect solution...except in my area that is. We may have the 2nd most terror targets in the US but the only thing the fish are telling us so far is that you "should not exceed eating two in one year." Looooots of PCB's in there. Terrorists could dump all sorts of stuff in there and we could be pulling up two headed fish without thinking anything was out of the ordinary :P
Is it just me or is it not going to upgrade to Vista in here?
I hate printers.
I'm hard of herring.
Fish are peeing in our water supply!!!!
M0571y H@rml355.
To: Bob Thompson <bthompson@dopw.sf.ca.us>
Subject: Our Contract
Dear Bob,
We don't want to seem ungrateful and we appreciate all you've done. However, it has just come to our attention, and our solicitor's attention, that our job is to test the water for poison. In light of this we'd like to renegotiate. We're looking forward to hearing back from you ASAP concerning this issue.
Sincerely,
Tim, Ed, and Bill
The Bluegills
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
-George W. Bush, Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
Give credit where credit's due.
Clearly what we need to do is just release fish into the computer systems as well.
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
That reminds me of a similar article:
SAN FRANCISCO, California (AP) -- A type of person so common that practically every American who ever attended grade school has probably harassed one is being enlisted in the fight against terrorism.
San Francisco, New York, Washington and other big cities are using computer geeks -- also known as computer nerds or slashdotters -- as a sort of canary in a coal mine to safeguard the internet.
Small numbers of the geeks are kept in cubicles supplied with Mountain Dew and a broadband internet connection from local internet service providers (ISPs), and sensors in each cubicle work around the clock to register changes in the breathing, heartbeat and browsing patterns of the geeks that occur in the presence of internet attacks.
"Nature's given us pretty much the most powerful and reliable early warning center out there," said Bill Lawler, co-founder of Intelligent Automation Corporation, a Southern California company that makes and sells the geek monitoring system. "There's no known manmade sensor that can do the same job as the computer nerd."
Since September 11, the government has taken very seriously the threat of attacks on the U.S. internet. Federal law requires nearly all internet service providers to assess their vulnerability to terrorism.
Big cities employ a range of safeguards against chemical and biological agents, constantly monitoring, testing and treating the water. But protection systems for electronic networks can trace only the hacks they are programmed to detect, Lawler said.
Computer geeks -- a hardy species about the size of a normal human being, but thinner and paler -- are considered more versatile. They are highly attuned to internet integrity, and when exposed to even brief internet outages, they experience the geek version of coughing, compulsively reloading browser windows and pinging gateways to determine the source of the congestion.
The computerized system in use in San Francisco and elsewhere is designed to detect even slight changes in the geek's vital signs and send an e-mail alert when something is wrong.
The angel in the oatmeal.
Won't PETA & SPCA complain?
where did my sig go? where's my sig at?
As someone who grew up in New Jersey, there were many lakes that had those little guys swimming all over the place...
And there isn't a change in hell that I would drink any of the water in those lakes. Those fish are survivors, and although I am not a scientist, I could only conclude that the fish in the lakes nearby had to have gone through some type of resistant mutation... That really doesn't help my confidence in the safety of the water.
I say use goldfish. Those little bastards take one day of me forgetting to feed them to go belly up.
-- The Arizona Kid
In Australia, we have stingrays guarding us from pests.
Yes. You should get your fish from a market. Preferably fish imported from Japan. If you are self-sufficient in some respect, you are destroying the pillars of mutual dependence on which current capitalism and world economy are built.
Besides, the fish are not privately owned. You are benefiting from public property. Which means that:
When you're fishing, you're catching communism !
Forget magic. Any technology distinguishable from divine power is insufficiently advanced.
Communism and Terrorism? All we need now is a flimsy excuse for protecting our fish from the horrors of child pornography and we'll be set!
The only new thing is using fish instead of birds
Yeah, when they tested the water using birds the only conclusion was 'That must be REALLY poisoned water!'
Does this mean we can carry water bottles on planes again -- if they have bluefish swimming in them?
Returned Peace Corps IT Volunteer
Or turning them and four baby turtles into ninjas, heros in a half-shell so to speak, which grow up to be a crime-fighting team of pizza-loving mutants.
I mean, what sort of an idiot needs to even ask this question - obviously the plutonium weighs more.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it