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Illumninatus! Author Needs Our Help

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the magnum-opiate dept.

Criceratops writes, "Almost every fringe-geek worth their salt has read 'The Illuminatus! Trilogy,' or at least the 'Principia Discordia,' and much of the enlightenment therein came from Robert Anton Wilson. On the eve of 'Xena' being officially named Eris, Douglas Rushkoff's blog reveals that the extremely ill Mr. Wilson can't make his rent. Another testimony to how our society refuses to reward those who enrich it... but not if we can help it!"

8 of 553 comments (clear)

  1. Re:I Don't Know, Man by I(rispee_I(reme · · Score: 5, Funny

    I haven't read any books by him, so maybe I'm really missing out on something. But instead of sending him money, I'd rather send him a letter advising him on how to live a better life throw a steady income job.

    You seem supremely qualified to comment, sir. I told Emily Dickinson practically the same thing: "Shut up with that emo shit. It's not paying the bills, and they're looking for a girl to do needlepoint in the village." Sadly, she didn't listen to me, and she died poor, alone, and unappreciated.

  2. Re:I Don't Know, Man by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    And where on earth do you get the assumption that he ever refused to work for money?

    He's a Republican, and all Republicans KNOW that the only reason that people are poor is because they CHOOSE to be poor. Being 74 and crippled by illness is just making excuses, and living in Brooklyn and eating that FANCY catfood instead of the bargain variety is simply wasteful extravagance.

  3. "Compassionate Conservativism" by gentimjs · · Score: 4, Funny

    A compassionate conservative sees a man and his family eating grass on the side of the road. The CC pulls over and asks "what are you doing?" the man replies, "we are too poor to eat, and cannot find work because of ethnic and religious discrimination". The CC tells him "thats terrible, hop in my car" so the man and his family joyfully get in the car hoping for a hand-up for a job offer of some kind.

    After driving a ways, the man asks the CC "So where are we going? Do you know where I can find work?" to which the CC laughs, and says "Oh no heh, I dont have a lawn mower, and the grass is much taller in my yard."
    ..........
    They never understand.

  4. Re:What is he doing by ArikTheRed · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wow, thats the most innocent sounding question I've ever heard of Slashdot! I imagine a small child, ragged hat in hand and doe-eyed, speaking with a whistle through a lost front tooth.

    --
    http://www.coderoshi.com/
  5. Re:If you send him $5, the fnords won't get you. by metamatic · · Score: 2, Funny

    Obligatory Monty Python sketch:

    Hello? Ah, Mr Victim, I'm glad to say that I've got the go-ahead to lend you the money you require. Yes, of course we will want as security the deeds of your house, of your aunt's house, of your second cousin's house, of your wife's parents' house, and of your granny's bungalow, and we will in addition need a controlling interest in your new company, unrestricted access to your private bank account, the deposit in our vaults of your three children as hostages and a full legal indemnity against any acts of embezzlement carried out against you by any members of our staff during the normal course of their duties... no, I'm afraid we couldn't accept your dog instead of your youngest child, we would like to suggest a brand new scheme of ours under which 51% of both your dog and your wife pass to us in the event of your suffering a serious accident. Fine. No, not at all, nice to do business with you. (puts the phone down, speaks on intercom) Miss Godfrey, could you send in Mr Ford please. (to himself) Now where's that dictionary. Ah yes, here we are... "inner life"... "inner life" ...

    Call me a crazy fool, but once I verified the e-mail address was really his, I decided to risk sending him $10 without seeing a complete set of double entry financial accounts. I guess I'm just not as much of a merchant banker as you are.

    --
    GCHQ Quantum Insert installed. If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak
  6. Re:If you send him $5, the fnords won't get you. by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 5, Funny

    I agree completely. Even Jesus commanded us all to do background checks before giving a bum an hamburger. That's why he's the savior. He thought of everything!

    --
    Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
  7. Re:If you send him $5, the fnords won't get you. by Captain+Splendid · · Score: 2, Funny

    We call it a dictionary in my neck of the woods.

    --
    Linux, you magnificent bastard, I read the fucking manual!
  8. Re:In other news ... by LunaticTippy · · Score: 2, Funny

    $25 is twice better than $23.

    $ (2+3) * (2+3)

    --
    Man, you really need that seminar!