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A Hands-On Zune Review
jayintune writes "2old2play.com got the chance to sit down with Microsoft's new media player, the Zune, to give some comments and insight into the players User Interface, Video Playback, Music Sharing, as well as software and setup." From the article: "I had expected the player to be fairly heavy, but after holding the Zune in my hand it was clear that I was wrong. It is not as light as the latest video iPod, but compared to my fourth-generation iPod, the Zune was lighter. The top of the Zune had a clear glass layer while the exterior had a tactile feel to it, nothing like the hard metal and plastic of the iPod devices. The 'skin' of the Zune was a 'rubberized' material that had a smooth seductive feel to it. I found myself unable to stop stroking the device, so much that the demo assistant asked me to put it down."
Let me go ahead and burn karma to get this out of the way:
... am I forgetting anything?
He's lying! He's a paid Microsoft shill! There's no way that it's as good as he says! It must be rigged! It's probably the new iPod and he thought it was a MS product! He's brainwashed by the DRM! It doesn't run Linux!
I haven't RTFA, but I'll be damned if I'm going to after that little choice excerpt--this stuff reads like B-rate pr0n narrative!
I left my wallet in El Sigundo!
I think he was told to put it down because it was about to squirt.
What If Microsoft Made A Media Player And No One Cared?
# cat
Damn, my RAM is full of llamas.
The 'skin' of the Zune was a 'rubberized' material that had a smooth seductive feel to it.
Yeah, I remember reading somewhere that Microsoft contracted out to the RealDoll company for that part.
The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
I wonder if all this talk about hot girls just waiting for you to send them music will inspire legions of geeks to venture out at night in search of a girl ready to accept their World of Warcraft soundtrack...
A World in a Grain of Sand / Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Infinity in the Palm of your Hand / And Eternity in an Hour.
I will be stroking my Wii on Nov 19th.
Too much information.
^_^
No, those girls are predators.
They get you drunk, take all your mp3s, and you wake up in an alley the next morning with a scar over where your kidney used to be.
Did I mention your mp3s are gone?
audio and video ads from stores I enter
And I'll bet THOSE won't expire in 3 days...
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
Well maybe that'll stop you from stroking your dick all day, since if you're that attached to a Wii, that's probably the closest you'll ever get to sex.
Who wrote that article? Borat?
[i]I decided to send them my community member a song. Browsed to my music folder, found to a song and, instead of selecting to play it, I chose to send it.[/i]
That was to a worst two a sentences I ever look, I choose to read.
"Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
See my knickname? There's always one. Always.
Hee Hee The drinking bird does all the work!
I woke up this morning, went into the bathroom, and squirted a 'video' from my 'zune.' When I got to work, I squirted a 'song' from my 'zune' whilst in a crowded elevator. Those who received it said it "really stank."
The quote in the summary sounds like the beginning of those first-person porn stories you find in Hustler.
Welll, not necessarily YOU, the reader, but a generalized statement that one could, if one were so inclined, find such lurid tales in the pages of magazines such as Hustler. But one is not necessarily you. Although, you may be one and not even know it.
But that's besides the point. The quote in the summary sounds like the beginning of those first-person porn stories you find in Hustler.
I had expected the player to be fairly heavy, but after holding the Zune in my hand it was clear that I was wrong.
I could sense it somehow, as if the pully-downey force that makes things fall and me very tired was not affecting the Zune as not much as I expected it not too.
It is not as light as the latest video iPod, but compared to my fourth-generation iPod, the Zune was lighter.
Ah ha, thought I. As I go back generations of media player, things get heavier. It was also a tad lighter than a 1952 Bendix steam powered black and white television console, thus adding weight (pun intended!!) to my theory. I plan to compare the Zune to a four ton heiroglyphic slab in Luxor, Egypt when I get the chance.
The top of the Zune had a clear glass layer while the exterior had a tactile feel to it,
Tactile. Definition: Perceptible to the sense of touch; tangible. So, yes, the Zune did in fact exist as far as my sensory apparatty and perceptualtudeness could determine.
The 'skin' of the Zune was a 'rubberized' material that had a smooth seductive feel to it. I found myself unable to stop stroking the device, so much that the demo assistant asked me to put it down."
He then called the police who took me downtown to a jail cell, and that's where I'm writing thie review now.
And the other 1/3rd are the drummers?
I think I dated one once.
Still have my kidney though.
Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
2old2play?!! can't stop stroking the zune?!! Eww!!!
> Like Jobs said, it's much more fun to stick your headphone in her ear.
A mode of operation that is only possible, of course, with a genuine iPod.
I found myself unable to stop stroking the device ...
Wireless pr0n on-the-go, huh?
This is my post. There are many others like it. If you don't like what you read here, go try one of the others.
Yes, well the rest of us have two kidneys, sucker!
Software patents delenda est.
how many pairs of boxer shorts should you own?
Why does everyone talk about sharing music while you talk with some hot girl you met in a club/bar/wherever?
Because this is Slashdot, and people here only conceptualize meeting a girl in a bar.
Pull out a Zune and ofer to share a tune with a real girl in a real bar, and I'd lay my neck on a block against you getting laid, much less her number or name.
Haha, I live on Capitol Hill, too, and you can't throw a rock without hitting these kids you describe.
Easily done, but try cleaning it off your shoes afterwards.
If you meet a girl, you want to make sure she is "PLAYS FOR SURE".