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The Tale of Seanbaby and Uwe Boll
1up is hosting a piece by EGM funnyman Seanbaby about his sordid altercation with Uwe Boll. "Uwe was going to promote his publicity stunt on G4's Attack of the Show by boxing one of the hosts. Again, he's a matchmaking genius, because everyone on TV is 3 feet tall. If you were watching Attack of the Show during the time I cohosted, you might have noticed that I could have leaned over and eaten host Kevin Pereira. A producer from the show remembered this and called me asking if I'd come on and fight Uwe. I train in Muay Thai and jujitsu, so I think boxing is to fighting what Hungry Hungry Hippos is to fighting, but--holy crap!--I couldn't pass up getting my fist near the mouth that shouted 'action' on the set of House of the Dead."
This article was in (I think) last month's issue of the EGM print mag.
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Unfortunately for our muay thai trained figther, in an actual boxing match, the advantage would lie with the boxer because of the rules involved.
I grew up training in kung fu with cross training in Japanese and European sword arts as well as some training in muay thai, and in a match with rules, I am at a disadvantage because I have to stop my body from doing things that it's not allowed to do because of the rules. In a real life situation, however, the advantage tends to rest with me.
It's the reason I never wanted to do tournament fighting. Instead, I got wrangled into helping train a few people who did because of my background and ability to pick apart weaknesses while turning them into advantages.
Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Uwe lied to get his "internet critics" into the ring with him, pretending it was "just for fun" and that they would get a little boxing training first. Too bad Seanbaby didn't lie and pretend he has never fought before and weighs less than he does. I'd pay good money to see Uwe Boll get his face smashed in by anyone, but Seanbaby would probably try to pull some sweet River City Ransom moves, making it even better.
Geeks + Testosterone = Tearful Ending
Not that I'm against guns per se, but pretending that they're some kind of superweapon that makes you invincible is outright foolish. That .45 in your coat may make you feel 12ft tall, with 8in steel ball bearings for testicles, but that sure as hell won't keep you alive when the shit really hits the fan.
Most martial arts now train people how to disarm a person with a gun that gets too close. Unless the gunman stays more than two metres away at all times he'll very quickly look at the wrong end of his own gun.
Justice is the sheep getting arrested while an impartial judge declares the vote void.
Martial arts skills can't. There's a reason that most martial arts weapons were originally MacGyvered from farming tools.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
7"3 and knows muyay thai and kung fu and is a seventh level dan of balh blah.
Seanbaby is every bit as talented as Uwe Boll is. He's the Uwe Boll of internet comedy.
Haha fart jokes haha
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
* except when good ol' Uncle Sugar sent my reserve unit to Afghanistan, but I had very little input in that decision...
If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
The 21 foot rule is based on the time it takes you to draw a weapon out of a holster and fire two rounds at center of mass. It is not a license to kill if someone is aggressive within that range. Its a suggestion that if there is a potential threat within 21 feet then you should have your sidearm drawn, because you will be unable to get it out in time if the guy rushes you.