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The Tale of Seanbaby and Uwe Boll

1up is hosting a piece by EGM funnyman Seanbaby about his sordid altercation with Uwe Boll. "Uwe was going to promote his publicity stunt on G4's Attack of the Show by boxing one of the hosts. Again, he's a matchmaking genius, because everyone on TV is 3 feet tall. If you were watching Attack of the Show during the time I cohosted, you might have noticed that I could have leaned over and eaten host Kevin Pereira. A producer from the show remembered this and called me asking if I'd come on and fight Uwe. I train in Muay Thai and jujitsu, so I think boxing is to fighting what Hungry Hungry Hippos is to fighting, but--holy crap!--I couldn't pass up getting my fist near the mouth that shouted 'action' on the set of House of the Dead."

13 of 79 comments (clear)

  1. advantage by bladesjester · · Score: 5, Informative

    Unfortunately for our muay thai trained figther, in an actual boxing match, the advantage would lie with the boxer because of the rules involved.

    I grew up training in kung fu with cross training in Japanese and European sword arts as well as some training in muay thai, and in a match with rules, I am at a disadvantage because I have to stop my body from doing things that it's not allowed to do because of the rules. In a real life situation, however, the advantage tends to rest with me.

    It's the reason I never wanted to do tournament fighting. Instead, I got wrangled into helping train a few people who did because of my background and ability to pick apart weaknesses while turning them into advantages.

    --
    Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
    1. Re:advantage by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      in this case- who cares?

      "oops! you mean i get disqualified for the 1-inch nut punch? jeez i guess i missed that rule. darnit i lost!"

    2. Re:advantage by aneurysm36 · · Score: 3, Funny
      --
      ------ hi mom
    3. Re:advantage by Richard+Frost · · Score: 5, Funny

      Your post makes your quote all the more disturbing.

    4. Re:advantage by bladesjester · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Yes, I've read the article, and quite frankly, being "several weight classes" above someone doesn't always mean a whole heck of a lot.

      I've taken down other people that were significantly larger than I was. Conversely, I've also had my head handed to me by a little old chinese guy (I really miss him, he was a good teacher).

      But if you want to learn a real lesson in frightening little men, you should meet the one master blacksmith that I got to know while I was working at the forge. He was about 5'3" and looked like a good breeze would blow him away, but he could do things physically that I couldn't do at 6' tall and built like a wall.

      --
      Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
  2. He should have lied. by Generic+Player · · Score: 5, Funny

    Uwe lied to get his "internet critics" into the ring with him, pretending it was "just for fun" and that they would get a little boxing training first. Too bad Seanbaby didn't lie and pretend he has never fought before and weighs less than he does. I'd pay good money to see Uwe Boll get his face smashed in by anyone, but Seanbaby would probably try to pull some sweet River City Ransom moves, making it even better.

    1. Re:He should have lied. by American+AC+in+Paris · · Score: 4, Funny

      BARF!

      --

      Obliteracy: Words with explosions

  3. Oh dear by Attaturk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Geeks + Testosterone = Tearful Ending

    1. Re:Oh dear by gt_mattex · · Score: 5, Funny

      Uwe Boll + Movie Production = Tearful Ending

      But for all the wrong reasons. :-(

      --
      "No doubt one may quote history to support any cause, as the devil quotes scripture." - Learned Hand
    2. Re:Oh dear by __aaclcg7560 · · Score: 3, Funny

      This is where the classic "Vulcan nerve pinch" becomes useful, young grasshopper.

  4. Re:Slightly old by ameoba · · Score: 4, Funny

    Perhaps it is old but with lines like "I'm going to try to keep this analogy simple because I think it's important everyone understands: After you've seen two Uwe Boll movies, watching a third is like jamming a third coat hanger into your urethra. It's certainly possible, but every instinct in your body will keep you from doing it." it definately deserves to be linked.

    --
    my sig's at the bottom of the page.
  5. Re:Bang. by Cadallin · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Depends, Just how good are you with that gun? Presumably, you mean some kind of pistol, unless you carry around a sawed-off 12-guage 24/7. Can you hit a moving target with a pistol (any kind/caiber) even at close range? Stats tend to say probably not, which gets you super dead in many kinds of situations.

    Not that I'm against guns per se, but pretending that they're some kind of superweapon that makes you invincible is outright foolish. That .45 in your coat may make you feel 12ft tall, with 8in steel ball bearings for testicles, but that sure as hell won't keep you alive when the shit really hits the fan.

  6. Re:Bang. by Dun+Malg · · Score: 3, Informative
    Not to mention the fact that the martial training ...How to gauge the danger of a situation... To listen to your instincts when they tell you something is off about a situation.
    Indeed, this is the most valuable thing I got from my various martial arts training: when fighting happens, I am invariably somewhere else*. I had a Yang-Style Martial Tai Chi sifu who liked to say that the only way to really win a fight is not to get in one in the first place.

    * except when good ol' Uncle Sugar sent my reserve unit to Afghanistan, but I had very little input in that decision...
    --
    If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.