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The Tale of Seanbaby and Uwe Boll
1up is hosting a piece by EGM funnyman Seanbaby about his sordid altercation with Uwe Boll. "Uwe was going to promote his publicity stunt on G4's Attack of the Show by boxing one of the hosts. Again, he's a matchmaking genius, because everyone on TV is 3 feet tall. If you were watching Attack of the Show during the time I cohosted, you might have noticed that I could have leaned over and eaten host Kevin Pereira. A producer from the show remembered this and called me asking if I'd come on and fight Uwe. I train in Muay Thai and jujitsu, so I think boxing is to fighting what Hungry Hungry Hippos is to fighting, but--holy crap!--I couldn't pass up getting my fist near the mouth that shouted 'action' on the set of House of the Dead."
This article was in (I think) last month's issue of the EGM print mag.
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Unfortunately for our muay thai trained figther, in an actual boxing match, the advantage would lie with the boxer because of the rules involved.
I grew up training in kung fu with cross training in Japanese and European sword arts as well as some training in muay thai, and in a match with rules, I am at a disadvantage because I have to stop my body from doing things that it's not allowed to do because of the rules. In a real life situation, however, the advantage tends to rest with me.
It's the reason I never wanted to do tournament fighting. Instead, I got wrangled into helping train a few people who did because of my background and ability to pick apart weaknesses while turning them into advantages.
Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Seanbaby has no room to talk, his attempts at comedy are just as pathetic as Uwe Bol's attempts are at making video game movies.
Really, do we need to give this kid anymore attention. If you feel the need to point out "you're just jealous," damn right I'm just jealous. I wish I could get great gigs by making god aweful ugly webpages and having no comedic talent at all.
Why is this news?
Wise men say, "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."
Uwe lied to get his "internet critics" into the ring with him, pretending it was "just for fun" and that they would get a little boxing training first. Too bad Seanbaby didn't lie and pretend he has never fought before and weighs less than he does. I'd pay good money to see Uwe Boll get his face smashed in by anyone, but Seanbaby would probably try to pull some sweet River City Ransom moves, making it even better.
Geeks + Testosterone = Tearful Ending
You're dead.
(buy a gun for protection, 'martial arts' is a bunch of bullshit when I can knock you down with my car, pin you under the tire, and crush every joint in your body with a hammer.
Blar.
You'd think 1up would have a server that could take more than five minutes of Slashdotting.
Martial arts skills can't. There's a reason that most martial arts weapons were originally MacGyvered from farming tools.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
7"3 and knows muyay thai and kung fu and is a seventh level dan of balh blah.
Seanbaby is every bit as talented as Uwe Boll is. He's the Uwe Boll of internet comedy.
Haha fart jokes haha
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
"I don't even have any good skills."
"What do you mean?"
"You know, like...
nunchaku skills,
bow hunting skills...
computer hacking skills.
Girls only want boyfriends
who have great skills."
The second you laugh because of maddoxx, you know that you have become a man. Geek man, but man nonetheless.
...When Lowtax was wtfpwned by him. Good times indeed!
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