Slashdot Mirror
Sony Under Investigation by DOJ
An anonymous reader writes "As the DOJ continues its investigation into RAM price fixing, it has started looking at Sony's operations. With all the negative press Sony has been getting, this couldn't come at a worse time." From the article: "The Japanese company received a subpoena from the Justice Department's antitrust division seeking information about Sony's static random access memory, or SRAM, business, company spokesman Atsuo Omagari said. 'Sony intends to cooperate fully with the DOJ in what appears to be an industrywide inquiry,' the company said in a short statement."
I submit David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist
And I have the proof
How can one explain the phenomenal global success of one of this country's least talented individuals? There are only three ways.
* Mr. Hasselhoff actually is talented, but this goes unnoticed in his own country.
* Mr. Hasselhoff has sold his soul to Satan in return for global success.
* David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist.
I vote for the latter -- and perhaps, after seeing the facts involved, the rest of the world will agree.
The Facts First, the obvious. Add a little beard and a couple of horns -- David Hasselhoff looks like the Devil, doesn't he? And the letters in his name can be rearranged to spell fad of devil's hash.
What does this mean? Well, Baywatch is David's fad. David is the devil. The Hash is what makes Knight Rider popular in Amsterdam.
(I was actually hoping to make the letters in his name spell out he is of the devil, which would be possible if his middle name was "Ethesis," which it might be. I'm sure his publicist would hide such a middle name if it were true.)
Second -- and most importantly -- David Hasselhoff and his television series were foretold in the Bible. Biblical scholars worldwide may quibble over interpretations, but they all agree on this. For a few telling examples let's skip to the end of the Bible. If any book of the Bible will tell us who the AntiChrist is, it's the Revelation of Saint John, which basically describes the AntiChrist and the Armageddon He causes. I'll just give you the verse, and the current theological interpretation of that verse.
Who is the Beast?
Rev 13:1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns The Beast, of course, is David Hasselhoff. The Heads are His separate television incarnations. Young and the Restless, Revenge of the Cheerleaders, Knight Rider, Terror at London Bridge, Ring of the Musketeers, Baywatch and Baywatch Nights. The ten horns represent His musical releases: Crazy For You, David, David Hasselhoff, Do You Love Me?, Du, Everybody Sunshine, I Believe, Looking For Freedom, Night Lover and Night Rockers. Not only does Mitch The Lifeguard literally "rise out of the sea" on Baywatch, but David's musical career has mostly occurred in Europe, a metaphoric rise to fame from across the sea. Rev 13:3 And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast. Of course, this is a reference to his third head: Knight of the Phoenix, the first episode of Knight Rider. In this episode, "Michael Long, a policeman, is shot and left for dead. The shot is deflected by a plate in his head, but ruins his face. He is saved and his face reconstructed. He is reluctant, but agrees to use K.I.T.T. to help the Foundation for Law and Government fight criminals who are 'beyond the reach of the law'. " Knight Rider has been shown in 82 countries. Rev 13:5 And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies; and power was given unto him to continue forty and two months. The following blasphemies are actual quotes from David Hasselhoff -- I read these while he was 42 years old.
"I'm good-looking, and I make a lot of money."
"There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me."
"I'm six foot four, an all-American guy, and handsome and talented as well!"
"Before long, I'll have my own channel -- I'll be like Barney."
"(Baywatch) is responsible for a lot of world peace." which the Hoff said at the Bollywood Oscars. Don't believe me? Read the original article!
And here's a blasphemy that came from David's recent (Feb 2004) visit to the Berlin Wall museum. I couldn't have made something this great up by myself. He was upset that the museum didn't spend more time devoted to his personal role in the fall of Communism. You can read more about it here, if you don't believ
...sailing the sausage seas!
Ram is going to get cheaper
Hooray! Ram! Ram! Ram! Ram!
Cheaper, faster, bigger, smaller
Hooray! Ram! Ram! Ram! Ram!
Now that people aren't makin' it expensive
Hooray! Ram! Ram! Ram! Ram!
It's gonna get cheaper!
Ninjas and pirates. How piquant.
its "RAMgate" :o
"Sony intends to cooperate fully with the DOJ in what appears to be an industrywide inquiry," the company said in a short statement. (Emphasis mine).
So the DOJ appears to be investigating every manufacturer, and there is no info even hinting that Sony did everything wrong.
Oh, now I see, it's a Zonk post.
Soon we will learn that all VAIOs are made from the souls of slaughtered orphans.
...the author of TFA that's painting the ugly picture on this issue?
"As the DOJ continues its investigation into RAM price fixing, it has started looking at Sony's operations."
"'Sony intends to cooperate fully with the DOJ in what appears to be an industrywide inquiry,' the company said in a short statement."
So in other words...
DOJ: "Let's see... next on the list is... Sony, you're up."
Greimel: "Lookit! Sony fucks up yet again, and then there's a PS3, and the 'sploding batteries, and Iwo Jima, and..."
Really now, the majority of TFA seems to be about Sony's other fuck ups rather than any incriminating substance regarding the inquiry.
The DOJ is expected to find that all evidence shows Sony to be innocent, all thanks to Anne in accounts who played a recent Celine Dion CD on her workstation.
Does this mean I can finally buy 256 of ram for less than $500 from them... whereas the DDR counterpart is like 40 bucks...
And break out the Zonked tags!
Nice try, Zonk. Nothing to see here, move along.
Wow static ram.. is that still around and used by someone?
just another sign the God wants the PS3 to fail and the evil mother company perish.
Investigations into the Blue Laser shortage. Seriously though, what the heck is going on at Sony, first its the Batteries, then the "laser shortage" and overpriced console, now its price fixing? When I was a kid sony stood for unequaled quality and innovation, now it seems to stands for "might last until the warranty expires, if your lucky". What has changed?
So, when people say that Sony isn't being singled out, that they're just one of many... that's exactly the point of the investigation.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
After their rootkits on CD's I'm surprised that the DOJ hasn't been chasing these guys more aggresively.
www.jmagar.com
-
IIRC, there have been lots of articles talking about industry-wide price fixing of SRAM. Many companies actually admitted to doing so, especially in the late 90's. Just glance at the related stories.
"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?" - Doctor Who
Well, but isn't feasibility of imports a mitigating factor when looking for collusion evidence? I mean, is it possible to fix prices for SRAM, given its low degree of differentiation? Is the distribution channels and contracts with OEMs such a bottleneck in the downstream?
Static RAM? COME ON, SLASHDOT! You aren't even trying anymore!
A slashdotter who didn't build his own computer is like a Jedi who didn't build his own lightsaber.
With all the negative press Sony has been getting, this couldn't come at a worse time
Or couldn't come at a better time.
Does anybody understand what 'price fixing' is? Like if I refuse to work for less then 50$/hour, am I price fixing? If a lot of us refuses, is it price fixing? If my baker tells me he won't sell me bread for less then 100$/loaf is it price fixing? If he sets ('fixes') the price to 1$ is it price-fixing? Don't you think that when you mark goods with a price-tag, it's actually....fixing the price?
If anybody thinks this will amount to much, really?
"You there, at the back, you have your hand up, no? Oh it's your hat, sorry my bad."
Jonathanjk.com
I think you dislodged my blinders a bit.
What's the price of freedom? It's the hard work and vigiliance required to not let it slip away. Be careful in what you trust; be careful not to lose all trust.
Trust a company to want to survive above all else.
Trust a politician or CEO to want power above all else.
... which *convicted* Microsoft and still wasn't able to get any meaningful penalty - you expect them to have any effect on Sony? Yeah, right.
I don't know why anyone cares, they'll only have a few at launch. I mean you won't even see it on the shelf until--
I'm sorry, what did you say? RAM? You mean they make something else?
>>"Sony intends to cooperate fully with the DOJ in what appears to be an industrywide inquiry," the company said in a short statement. (Emphasis mine).
So, you feel that Sony's spin on this is highly credible? It also seems to me that allegations of price fixing might involve more than one company in an industry, since it would be pretty hard for a single company to fix prices without collusion from their ostensible competitors.>So the DOJ appears to be investigating every manufacturer, and there is no info even hinting that Sony did everything wrong.
Some mornings it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints to get out of bed.
That's all; just a Sony-coined phrase that has literally come full circle to describe the very company that used it to begin with.
US DoJ SRAM probe takes in Mitsubishi
U.S. Extends SRAM Antitrust Probe to Samsung
SRAM Industry Probe Hits Toshiba
iSuppli questions value of SRAM probe
All are 2 weeks old.
Even though recently Sony has been making a lot of fudge-ups and bad press, I kind of feel bad that Sony's having to deal with this now. This is the company that fought for better quality video, made portable audio a lifestyle, and innovated/invented several concepts that we could not live without. My family and I trusted the Sony brand for years, and it will be sad to see them getting closer and closer to another great example of a management failure in our business classes.
poor poor sony.
I think you completely missed the humour in that signature :)
Coz eternity my friend, is a long *ing time.
No, SCO is behind this.
This just means that Sony hasn't bribed, err, contributed to the campaigns of enough power and money-grubbing slimebuckets, err, politicians yet. I think there's enough brainpower left at Sony to follow the Microsoft model of buying your way out of political trouble. Just give them some time.
...People still buying Sony products or ask[ing] just before they make the purchase...?
Is the crap people like you and others online are spewing.
This is one of the downsides to being a conglomerate. Perhaps the bad press about Sony combined with loss of market share across the board might encourage other companies not to overdiversify.
Even if not, it will sure keep them from buying a Sony portable CD or DVD player to play them on, or a Sony PLAYSTATION 3 console with the SIXAXIS controller powered by a Sony rechargeable battery.