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AIDS Can Fight AIDS

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the numbers-games dept.

dptalia writes "Scientists at the University of Pennsylvania have announced that they have engineered a strain of the AIDS virus that fights AIDS. This strain of AIDS works like a vaccine and improved the immune system of the test subjects. After three years on this new therapy, no side effects have been observed."

20 of 276 comments (clear)

  1. Two Wrongs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    So does this mean that two wrongs DO make a right?

    1. Re:Two Wrongs by dunkelfalke · · Score: 4, Funny

      no. but three lefts do.

      --
      Conservatism: The fear that somewhere, somehow, someone you think is your inferior is being treated as your equal.
    2. Re:Two Wrongs by WilliamSChips · · Score: 1, Funny

      Don't you know that Timecube says -1 * -1 = +1 is evil!

      --
      Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
    3. Re:Two Wrongs by God'sDuck · · Score: 5, Funny

      Burns: This sounds like bad news.
      Doctor: Well, you'd think so, but all of your diseases are in perfect balance.

    4. Re:Two Wrongs by hcob$ · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sure because "Virus Immunodeficiency Human" really implies that it does the opposite of "Human Immunodeficiency Virus".

      --
      Cliff Claven
      K.E.G. Party Chairman
      Founding Leader of: Koncerned for Egalitarin Governance
    5. Re:Two Wrongs by Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp · · Score: 2, Funny

      Exactly! Imagine the fun spreading it around.

      "But doctor!"

      "It's ok, ma'am. This is a medical procedure."

      "Oh, ok."

      --
      (-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
  2. Ingenious by Centurix · · Score: 5, Funny

    We can genetically modify idiots to fight other idiots!

    --
    Task Mangler
    1. Re:Ingenious by debilo · · Score: 5, Funny

      We can genetically modify idiots to fight other idiots!

      Yeah, but the idea is not patentable, since Congress has prior art.

  3. Highlander by Umbral+Blot · · Score: 4, Funny

    There can only be one! (AIDS virus)

    --

    Philosophy.
    1. Re:Highlander by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
      There can only be one!

      Yoda, highlander is!
  4. So after the AIDS.... by UniverseIsADoughnut · · Score: 4, Funny

    So after the AIDS kills the AIDS, then they send something in to kill the AIDS that kills the AIDS....

    So at what point does a Cow get sent in to go after the chicken.

    1. Re:So after the AIDS.... by kupan787 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
      Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
      Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
      Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
      Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
      Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
      Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

  5. don't cross the streams by macadamia_harold · · Score: 4, Funny

    Scientists at the University of Pennsylvania have announced that they have engineered a strain of the AIDS virus that fights AIDS.

    Well, whatever you do, don't cross the streams. You're sure to get human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria!

    --
    Push Button, Receive Bacon
  6. People can fight people by Bushido+Hacks · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's only a matter of time before one of the AIDS strains invades the other AIDS strains on suspicions of building protiens of mass cell destruction.

    --
    The Rapture is NOT an exit strategy.
  7. cure == disease? by atarione · · Score: 2, Funny

    Dr. the bad news.. you have AIDS and left untreated it will kill

    you: DAMN

    Dr. now the good news we will inject you with AIDS that will kill your AIDS

    you: GREAT

    Dr. Now the not so good news the AIDS that kills the AIDS will then kill you.

    --
    actually I am happy to see you, however that is in fact a banana in my pocket.
  8. Finally! by dangitman · · Score: 4, Funny

    The principles of Bum Fighting applied to medical science. It brings a tear of joy to my eye.

    --
    ... and then they built the supercollider.
  9. Re:A lot more is necessary... by nacturation · · Score: 4, Funny

    It needs to be inexpensive, easy to administer, and something that only needs to be administered once.

    A bullet?

    [Yes, I'm joking. And yes, I know I'm going straight to hell for that one.]

    --
    Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
  10. Re:A lot more is necessary... by Tuna_Shooter · · Score: 3, Funny

    Jeesh...... It's not the FDA but the lawyers that have PUT the FDA in such a position of liabilty. Whats needs reform is the legal system in this country that is not driven by greed. how the world works lately... If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, he sues the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family sues the tobacco company. If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he sues the bartender. If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you sue producers of a video games. If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you sue the gun manufacturer. And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the crazed deceased sues the airline. I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore. So, if I die while parked in front of this computer, I want you all on my behalf to sue Bill Gates...

    --
    *--- Sometimes a majority only means that all the fools are on the same side. ---*
  11. Re:A lot more is necessary... by tehcyder · · Score: 4, Funny
    Yes, I'm joking. And yes, I know I'm going straight to hell for that one.
    So you believe in a Deity that condemns people to eternal suffering because they told one shitty bad taste joke? Fucking hardcore.

    --
    To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
  12. Re:A lot more is necessary... by siegesama · · Score: 2, Funny

    99% of patients receiving this therapy never have cause to complain again.

    --
    what the hell is a 'junk character', anyway?