Slashdot Mirror
Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon
Jearil writes "Wired's 'Table of Malcontents' blog links to an article about a wine-tasting robot that thinks humans taste like bacon. The Japanese robot is intended to act as a personal sommelier, suggesting wines, cheeses, and hors d'oeuvres based on its owners personal tastes. It also apparently thinks humans would be tasty as part of a sandwich." From the article: "Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon ... Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses ... like 'tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.' But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto." This is most distressing.
Bacon flavored soylent green
Politics is Treachery, Religion is Brainwashing
And that's all I'm going to say.
This is most distressing.
No it's not. It's brilliant. The only thing putting me off cannabalism was a concern I might not like the taste. Best news ever!
http://twitter.com/onion2k
If there are no Polynesian cannibals in your area, ask a soldier or fireman what burning human flesh smells like.
We smell like pork when we're well-done. The robot got it absolutely right. And I, for one, would like to remind the robot that I'm absolutely delicious when served with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
One thing is certain, the repetitive jokes will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new "I for one welcome..."-joke-setting-up overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted Slashdotter I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground repetitive-joke-comment caves (as if they need it).
Read Pynchon.
Say, they didn't happen to give us that cameraman's name? Where to find him, perhaps? He sounds like the kind of guy I'd love to meat. Er, meet. He sounds like maybe he could use a comforting olive oil bath, and then relax on a bed of mozarella and fresh basil.
Where are the Soylent Green Jokes?
They like alcohol. And gambling.
Well at least now we know to pair human flesh with a darker, spicier red like Zinfandel or Shiraz / Syrah.
Phew.
Robots don't know it's not bacon!
"The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."
Reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.
The robot probably isn't far off...
The Aztecs had a long legacy of cannibalism as part of their religious ceremonies. It was considered (I assume by those not experiencing it) an honor to be killed and eaten as a token to their god(s).
After the Spanish came and forcefully converted the native American survivors to Roman Catholocism, the Aztecs adopted the stigma attached to cannibalism. However, they couldn't get enough of that porcine protein brought over from Europe. When asked about their focused consumption of pigs, the former people eaters replied with a simple answer: pigs taste like you and me.
humans tasted just like chicken. (I haven't summoned the courage to ask my wife what she thinks I taste like.)
The mailman, probably...
Thank you, I'll be here all this week!
Only build Jewish robots.
Irony.
Resistance is futile. Reactance buggers it up.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it