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Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon
Jearil writes "Wired's 'Table of Malcontents' blog links to an article about a wine-tasting robot that thinks humans taste like bacon. The Japanese robot is intended to act as a personal sommelier, suggesting wines, cheeses, and hors d'oeuvres based on its owners personal tastes. It also apparently thinks humans would be tasty as part of a sandwich." From the article: "Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon ... Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses ... like 'tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.' But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto." This is most distressing.
Bacon flavored soylent green
Politics is Treachery, Religion is Brainwashing
And that's all I'm going to say.
Was he supposed to know what human flesh tastes like? 'Cause once they get the taste, there's no going back!
If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
This is most distressing.
No it's not. It's brilliant. The only thing putting me off cannabalism was a concern I might not like the taste. Best news ever!
http://twitter.com/onion2k
Well, I for one welcome our new human-eating robotic overlords
humans tasted just like chicken. (I haven't summoned the courage to ask my wife what she thinks I taste like.)
Dog is my co-pilot.
Let's just hope these robots are orthodox religious types...
After calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
If there are no Polynesian cannibals in your area, ask a soldier or fireman what burning human flesh smells like.
We smell like pork when we're well-done. The robot got it absolutely right. And I, for one, would like to remind the robot that I'm absolutely delicious when served with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
Note to self: Change chicken-based recipes.
it looks like the Rise of the Machines will take place in the kitchen.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
This does not surprise me considering that pork is the closest thing to human flesh that we eat.
I used to theorize that human flesh probably contains more of the same nutrients we need than any other food out there, so I had guessed in the past that in theory it would be pretty tasty.
Mmmmm..... Bacon....
What is mankind really? Well, it's just two words put together Mank, and ind.
One thing is certain, the repetitive jokes will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new "I for one welcome..."-joke-setting-up overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted Slashdotter I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground repetitive-joke-comment caves (as if they need it).
Read Pynchon.
Say, they didn't happen to give us that cameraman's name? Where to find him, perhaps? He sounds like the kind of guy I'd love to meat. Er, meet. He sounds like maybe he could use a comforting olive oil bath, and then relax on a bed of mozarella and fresh basil.
Where are the Soylent Green Jokes?
They like alcohol. And gambling.
Well at least now we know to pair human flesh with a darker, spicier red like Zinfandel or Shiraz / Syrah.
Phew.
In addition to tasting the male cameraman, a female reporter was smelled. The robot described her as having a pungent fish odor.
Robots don't know it's not bacon!
This is seriously why I don't dine on swine. Back on the farm I grew up on from time to time we'd have to cut up a pig for whatever reason and the way pig's flesh looks when being cut open looks EXACTLY like human flesh being cut, and it's haunted me for years. Pigs are just too close to people in my mind.
adventure-today.com
"The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."
Reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.
He should have chosen a Burgundy, which is a fine match for prosciutto, instead of a Chianti.
Life is like a web application. Sometime you need cookies just to get by.
The robot probably isn't far off...
The Aztecs had a long legacy of cannibalism as part of their religious ceremonies. It was considered (I assume by those not experiencing it) an honor to be killed and eaten as a token to their god(s).
After the Spanish came and forcefully converted the native American survivors to Roman Catholocism, the Aztecs adopted the stigma attached to cannibalism. However, they couldn't get enough of that porcine protein brought over from Europe. When asked about their focused consumption of pigs, the former people eaters replied with a simple answer: pigs taste like you and me.
We would be good on a sandwich.
... we are flesh and bone just like any other mammal, and it seems reasonable to believe that animals which are similar anatomically would have similar compounds that generate similar tastes.
Humans and pigs are actually fairly close anatomically, which is why high school students dissect pig fetuses every year and why pigs are a promising species in the field of Xenotransplantation. And it's really not distressing at all, after you get over the ick factor. We're not made of magical fairy dust
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What does robot taste like?
Engineering is the art of compromise.
True story. I was having radiosurgery to remove a birthmark a couple of years ago. Essentially it burns off the skin in a way that allows it to heal with no scarring. I'm dosed up with Novocain and am lying down trying not think of whats going on a few inches from my eyes. Suddenly it smells like burning pork. I think to myself "What the hell is burning." A moment later I realized it was me.
We're a lot closer to swine than most would imagine, pigskin has been used for xenografts for human burn victims and of course pig heart valves have been implanted into people. Rumor even has it that we taste about the same, ever heard the saying, "humans, the other pork" or the term long-pig?
Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
As a vegetarian, I'm going to stick to hufu, the "tofu-based product that is meant to resemble, as realistically as possible, the taste and texture of human flesh"!
Not if the robots are vegan.
I'm not at all concerned about getting eaten by Asimo or TMX Elmo.
If the Matrix , the Terminator, and Futurama have taught me anything, is that robots would be more likely to farm me, shoot me, or steal from me first.
I'd be more worried about getting eaten by *you*, should the robo-apocalypse ever come to pass...
Only build Jewish robots.
What will the robot say Kevin Bacon tastes like?
Sounds about right. Most cameramen I know (including myself) are just big hams!
"All Your Flesh Are Belong to Us"
The obvious question is whether the people in question had just touched a pork product....
Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.
Being a savory pork flavor and all, I figured calling tasty human steaks "The Other Other White Meat" would be the perfect catch phrase to start the Marketing kickoff for the North American Human Meat Producers Alliance with. But, then I realized that Africans, Asians and Native Americans would get upset because it's so "white-centric".
See how polarized we've become on the race card?
So I guess we'll just have to play into it.
Humans: The Black, White, Red and Yellow Meat, Taste the Rainbow Next to Your Potatoes
There, I hope you're all happy.
Obviously, if we taste like pork, he should have used a white instead of Chianti.
Soylent ( any of the varites ) didnt taste like bacon, Its far too (over)processed. It tastes more like white bread, or plain crackers. Perhaps a bit like plain tofu even.
---- Booth was a patriot ----