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Army Game Proves U.S. Can't Lose

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the propaganda-machine dept.

Alien54 writes to tell us that the latest game in the US Army's recruiting toolbox is an impressive game, simulating both weaponry already in use and some still on the drawing board. The game portrays the nation's military in 2015 but, as some critics have said, may lack even the most basic elements of realism. From the article: "For example, there's no consideration that military power or technology could fail or be jammed, she says. And the enemy doesn't learn, in contrast to a certain real-life conflict where the hallmark of insurgents is their ability to rapidly gain knowledge and evolve."

14 of 636 comments (clear)

  1. But wait ... by Salvance · · Score: 5, Funny

    The U.S. Army can't lose, right? The game sounds realistic to me ;)

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    1. Re:But wait ... by Ingolfke · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm not too worried about 550 million Chinese fighters as long as we have a few soldiers with superior training and proper motivation. I saw a John Woo movie and from what I can tell one decent guy with a good motivation can take out hundreds of Chinese fighters pretty quickly. Especially if you get them in close combat in a house or a warehoue.

    2. Re:But wait ... by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 3, Funny

      And aside from mine clearing and scaring the enemy it is tactically useless.

      And they aren't particularly good at mine clearing.

      --
      "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
      --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
    3. Re:But wait ... by operagost · · Score: 3, Funny
      However, don't count on an Iraq-style insurgency, as Westerners aren't as prepared to sacrifice their lives for their faith/nation.
      Don't underestimate the fighting ability of an angry, drunken Scotsman wielding a farm tool.
      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    4. Re:But wait ... by BadMrMojo · · Score: 3, Funny

      The rumor is that the USAF is being disbanded. As a replacement, the US Army is stockpiling flocks of common birds to be released before and/or during any future skirmish with China.

      By releasing the doves at dramatically appropriate moments, they plan to ensure that all goes according to the script, ensuring victory for the good guys.

    5. Re:But wait ... by Maxo-Texas · · Score: 3, Funny

      Oh well, when you put it that way!

      All the US has to do is roll a lot of 6's on defense and the rest of the world is toast!

      --
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    6. Re:But wait ... by Sod75 · · Score: 3, Funny

      >As Admiral Yamamoto said: "You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass."

      but since Yamamoto, the average american has grown somewhat too large to hide behind a blade of grass. ;)

  2. Abu Ghraib Hidden Level by ettlz · · Score: 5, Funny
    Where you get to familiarise yourself with the latest military technology including:
    • the digital camera;
    • the lead-acid car battery;
    • crocodile clips;
    and, of course
    • the black hood.
  3. Re:A sim by Professor_UNIX · · Score: 5, Funny
    I mean how fun it will be drving a car simulator and if you crash you will need to repair the car yourself after staying 3 weeks in hospital.
    That'd actually be pretty cool. Crash your car and have to call the police, then phone up your Geiko representative to come down and check your car out to see if he'll total it. Then when the ambulance shows up they cart you off to the hospital where the car simulation turns into a medical simulation for 3 *real* weeks. When they discharge you it then turns into an insurance simulation where you have to fight with your insurance company to get your car fixed or written off. Then car buying simulation kicks into effect!
  4. Using a *Shooting game* to recruit to the army? by caranha · · Score: 4, Funny

    Regardless of how realistic or non-realistic the thing is, am I the only one boggled down by the fact that the US are using a *SHOOTING GAME* to motivate people to join the army?

    Since when was war supposed to be fun and desirable?

    "You see the game? Come to the army! Now you'll have the chance to shoot people, for REAL!" - ugh

  5. Re:A sim by hnile_jablko · · Score: 3, Funny

    That'd actually be pretty cool. Crash your car and have to call the police, then phone up your Geiko representative to come down and check your car out to see if he'll total it. Then when the ambulance shows up they cart you off to the hospital where the car simulation turns into a medical simulation for 3 *real* weeks. When they discharge you it then turns into an insurance simulation where you have to fight with your insurance company to get your car fixed or written off. Then car buying simulation kicks into effect!

    You seem to have the process flow nailed on this one. So, I need to ask, do you still have a license?

  6. The Romans would have run it on a by Ellis+D.+Tripp · · Score: 3, Funny

    CDLXXXVI, no?

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  7. Don't be silly by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    If Saudi Arabia declares war... and actually does something about it, they'd last about 30 minutes. The U.S. would have no moral qualms about turning the middle east into glass. The oil is safe underground, and we already hate the buggers.

    The only militaries that could give us a tussle in an all-out fight are Russia and China, and since we're all trading partners that won't happen. England won't declare war on a U.S. ally. Italy? Please. Spain. HAHAHAHHHAHAHAHA. The rest of Europe would be content to send strong diplomatic statements. North Korea? Ashes and glass in 25 minutes. Tops.

    If you think I'm joking, U.S. citizens would demand this happen. I know I would get on the bombs and ride them down yelling "YEEEHAAA!". My friends would be shooting Coke machines. And my wife would play both the president and the mad scientist.

    America loves a winner.

  8. Re:This is not really a good thing, but... by EnglishTim · · Score: 5, Funny
    Afterward, the US can use their navy as a staging area for asserting Arial dominance.

    ... and then... we will have rid the world of the threat of Times New Roman forever!