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Wal-Mart Asked to Drop Christian Video Game

Posted by samzenpus on from the the-crusades-were-fun dept.

doug141 writes "Liberal and progressive Christian groups say a new computer game in which players must either convert or kill non-Christians is the wrong gift to give this holiday season and that Wal-Mart, a major video game retailer, should yank it off its shelves.Players can choose to join the Antichrist's team, but of course they can never win on [his] side. The enemy team includes fictional rock stars and folks with Muslim-sounding names, while the righteous include gospel singers, missionaries, healers and medics."

40 of 1,535 comments (clear)

  1. What's a "progressive Christian"? by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is it like a critical fairy tale believer?

    --
    "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
    1. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by ifchairscouldtalk · · Score: 5, Funny

      Is it like a critical fairy tale believer? Kinda, but probably closer to a secure Windows.
    2. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by Lumpy · · Score: 4, Funny

      A progressive Christian is someone that does not flip you off before or after they run you off the road in their SUV covered in Christian bumper stickers.

      Either that or a Christian that got a good deal on his car insurance.

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
    3. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by LizardKing · · Score: 4, Funny

      A progressive Christian is someone who actually does what the Bible says to do

      Well I guess that excludes me, as I've been serious thought to coveting my neighbour's ox lately.

    4. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by DaveCar · · Score: 5, Funny


      Well I guess that excludes me, as I've been serious thought to coveting my neighbour's ox lately

      Man, the ox is OK, but you should see her ass!

    5. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by somersault · · Score: 2, Funny

      Wasn't that written by Steve 'Zephaniah' Ballmer when he realised all his staff were moving to Google?

      PS just because it's not PC doesn't mean it's not 'fair' ;)

      --
      which is totally what she said
    6. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by KermodeBear · · Score: 2, Funny

      Read my sig. Am I going to hell?

      --
      Love sees no species.
    7. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Well I guess that excludes me, as I've been serious thought to coveting my neighbour's ox lately. I think you meant to post on FarmDot. Here you should be coveting their boxen, not their oxen.
    8. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by Rakshasa+Taisab · · Score: 4, Funny

      What is it that makes 13 years the magical age of heightened folly?

      It's called puberty, you'll understand why afterwards.

      --
      - These characters were randomly selected.
    9. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by Cro+Magnon · · Score: 4, Funny

      Here's my 2 scents about homosexuality. It certainly is a sin. So, IIRC, is premarital sex. With the possible exception of slashdotters, not too many people are in a position to cast the first stone.

      --
      Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
    10. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by die444die · · Score: 3, Funny

      Ok, but who would do that when you could just sell your daughter?

      Exodus 21:7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.

      --
      die444die
    11. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Opposite over hypotenuse.

      Duh.

    12. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by DreamingReal · · Score: 4, Funny
      Exactly - a "progressive" christian is "a Chrsitain".

      What do you mean? A Dyslexic?

      --
      We want some answers and all that we get
      Some kind of shit about a terrorist threat
      - Ministry
    13. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by geobeck · · Score: 2, Funny

      I have no idea how you get a government sanction[ed] by God...

      Apparently, you rig the voting machines.

      --
      Find environmentally and socially responsible products on http://buy-right.net
    14. Re:What's a "progressive Christian"? by Vengeance_au · · Score: 2, Funny
      (paraphrasing) "too late fucktards" and still slaughtered them all.

      Love that paraphrase - you've given me a mental picture of The Bible meets Bruce Campbell.
  2. If this works, let me be the first to say: by gentimjs · · Score: 4, Funny

    Lions = 1 , Christians = 0

    1. Re:If this works, let me be the first to say: by stewbacca · · Score: 5, Funny

      The Detroit Lions can't beat anybody, let alone Christians!

    2. Re:If this works, let me be the first to say: by sparr0w · · Score: 5, Funny

      umm, this is slashdot. we don't follow baseball.

    3. Re:If this works, let me be the first to say: by Brummund · · Score: 5, Funny

      Version 1.01:
      * Misc bugs removed
      * Fixed Satan exploit, allowing him to take over the world
      * Spawn of Evil will now spawn in lesser numbers
      * The stone introduced as a new weapon, allowing you to stone the infidels
      * The Billy Graham level is now accessible in Realistic mode
      * Kofi Annan removed as head of evil, Son of satan; replaced with generic character awaiting the new appointment of the UN leader

  3. Robotic Jesus by garlicbready · · Score: 5, Funny

    does it have a 100ft robotic Jesus with spinning cross attack?
    How about the star of David Ion canon?

    1. Re:Robotic Jesus by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      They have one of those giant Jesus robots in Brazil. They just haven't figured out how to turn it on.

    2. Re:Robotic Jesus by laejoh · · Score: 5, Funny

      Pfff, not deadly enough. However, does it have the ...?

  4. Holding out by hoto0301 · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'm holding out until it comes out for the Wii

  5. Can't wait... by d3m0nCr4t · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can't wait for a reaction of Jack Thompson on this one...

    1. Re:Can't wait... by techpawn · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hopefully his head will explode in a poof of circular logic.
      Video game == Bad
      Chirstians == Good
      Christian + Video game == ??? *pop*

      --
      Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what your country did to you
    2. Re:Can't wait... by Jackass+Thompson · · Score: 5, Funny

      I enjoy the game and highly recommend it.

      --
      Are you threatening me?
  6. Calls for a patch by Valacosa · · Score: 4, Funny
    Players can choose to join the Antichrist's team, but of course they can never win on [his] side. The enemy team includes fictional rock stars...
    I want to buy it just so I can hack it and release a patch. Good games should balance the two opposing sides!

    Besides, who wouldn't want to dominate the world for seven years of darkness? I call Marilyn Manson as my right hand man!
    --
    "Live as if you'll die tomorrow." Ridiculous. You could die later today.
  7. Oops, let me help you... by aussersterne · · Score: 3, Funny

    By "Marilyn Manson" I think you mean "Dick Cheney."

    --
    STOP . AMERICA . NOW
  8. Others lining up with the Antichrist by singer-scientist · · Score: 4, Funny

    The enemy team includes fictional rock stars and folks with Muslim-sounding names Presumably it also includes:
    • Gays
    • Bisexuals
    • Atheists
    • Biologists
    • Geologists
    • Cosmologists
    • Anyone from France
    • Anyone who has used any form of contraception
    • In fact anyone who has ever had sex for reasons other than making more christians
    • Anyone with a brain
    1. Re:Others lining up with the Antichrist by Architect_sasyr · · Score: 4, Funny

      You forgot "Choir Boys who said No"

      Warning: Protestant Posting Detected

      --
      Me failed English...
      FreeBSD over Linux. If my comments seem odd, this may explain...
    2. Re:Others lining up with the Antichrist by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 2, Funny

      As a promiscuous, bisexual, atheist, cosmologist, I'd just like to say... fuck the French.

  9. go Walmart by DrLang21 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm ordering this video game right now. This is the most offensively awsome thing to ever come out.

    --
    I see the glass as full with a FoS of 2.
  10. Re:My guess by freeweed · · Score: 2, Funny

    lord mike,

    No offense... but, you probably shouldn't assume Dan Brown has ever had an original idea in his life.

    Thanks,

    freeweed

    --
    Endless arguments over trivial contradictions in books written by ignorant savages to explain thunder in the dark.
  11. Re:I say let Wal-Mart carry it! by diamondsw · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's up to intelligent people to decide for themselves what they like, think or believe.

    Exactly why Wal-Mart must NOT carry it.

    --
    I don't know what kind of crack I was on, but I suspect it was decaf.
  12. My favorite game character classes by Hoi+Polloi · · Score: 3, Funny

    Some of the character classes that are available in the game:

    Televangelist: You get XP for getting folks to send in their social security benefits to "buy Bibles for Africans". Character starts with a broadcast license and a Makeup Kit +3

    Street Corner Lunatic: You get XP based on how fast people scurry past to avoid you. Character starts off with a Sandwich Board of Hysteria and 50 Pamphlets of Harassment.

    Perverted Priest: Each boy you molest gains you XP. Innate abilities include Charm Children and Lie To Parish.

    Sanctimonious Believer: Gets XP for passing judgment on others. You lose XP if people point out your own failings. Character starts off with a Bible of Convenience +3.

    --
    It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
  13. But... by jcostantino · · Score: 3, Funny

    But is there a God Mode?

    --
    Reviews with a twist! http://www.sardonicbastard.com
  14. Re:I don't know about the game by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    I look at it this way:

    1. God is God, but signs on as root.
    2. Jesus is Jesus, but signs on as root.
    3. The holy spirit is the holy spirit, but runs as root.

    Everybody else runs as users. Maybe a few admins. But noone else is root.

    Satan is a sys-admin/programmer that lost his root access. He's mad, and keeps trying to hack the system...

  15. The difference is © by tepples · · Score: 2, Funny

    What is the difference between centuries old fiction (the bible is not more than 1800 years old) and new fiction?

    Copyright. The law doesn't forbid people to retranslate the Bible or Dante's Comedy and issue a new study edition. Anything since 1923, on the other hand...

  16. Re:Misconception or not? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    If Jesus is God, he was a motherfucker. I mean, he's also the son of God, right? Jesus Motherfucking Christ.

  17. Re:I don't know about the game by Rustmouth+Chafings · · Score: 3, Funny

    Jesus cannot simultaneously be God and "not God" Schrödinger's cat > Jesus.

    'Nuff said.