Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

What Does Your Dead Man's Switch Do?

Posted by Cliff on from the in-the-event-of-doom dept.

LqdEngineer asks: "How many of you use or have used a Dead Man's Switch designed to perform some action if you don't check in for a certain amount of time? Recently, I decided to put one together using MySQL and some cron jobs, but I wanted to see what others have their switches set up to do in the event you fail to check in. E-mails to loved ones? Send encryption keys to friends/family? Hate mail to your boss? Has anyone ever been on the receiving end of the results of such a system?"

15 of 310 comments (clear)

  1. Wives and Other DMSs by P(0)(!P(k)+P(k+1)) · · Score: 5, Funny

    From TFS:

    I decided to put [a dead man's switch] together using MySQL and some cron jobs . . . .

    I'll counter with my own ask-ask-slashdot: why would you use MySQL? It's only one more component to fail after you've expired.

    My advice: lose the extraneous components; and get a wife, too: they come with a redundant dead man's mechanism.

    1. Re:Wives and Other DMSs by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 5, Funny

      they come with a redundant dead man's mechanism
      they come with a redundant dead man's mechanism
      they come with a redundant dead man's mechanism

      hmmm. Now I think I understand what's in the nightstand drawer.

      --
      Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
  2. creates more deadmens switches by green+pizza · · Score: 5, Funny

    My deadman's switch is programmed to create a series of new deadmen's switches, each more complex than the last.

  3. First things first by antifoidulus · · Score: 5, Funny

    delete all the porn!

    --
    Monstar L
    1. Re:First things first by ElaborateCalculator · · Score: 5, Funny

      Mod parent up:
      +1 Solipsist

      --
      --darren
  4. Ironically... by Frogbert · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's hooked up to my personal suicide machine.

    1. Re:Ironically... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yes, but did you test it?

      Oh great...he hasn't responded. You, sir, are being charged with murder!

  5. Why not have some fun? by monkeypoo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why not make a system that, after you've passed away, pretends to be you from beyond the grave?

    Maybe it checks your email contacts (most people will know you've passed on of course) and sends out randomly generated messages about how great heaven is?

    "You'll never believe it! The Mormons were right!!"

    1. Re:Why not have some fun? by Workaphobia · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, if the system can pass a rigorous Turing Test and functionally replace you in all your roles, that may mean that you never even died. Either that or your life was so predictable and monotonous that a machine could live it for you.

      --
      Evidently, the key to understanding recursion is to begin by understanding recursion. The rest is easy.
  6. Jewish Mother Dead Man's Switch by LunchSpecial · · Score: 5, Funny

    If I don't check in with my Jewish mother every few days she'll go crazy and call everyone I might have once talked to.
    I didn't set this up, it was genetics.

  7. What if... by jones_supa · · Score: 5, Funny

    What if after your death your relatives just walk in and happily unplug your Linux boxes (having no idea how they even work) before your cool scripts even get a chance to run. :S

  8. Re:what I tell the guy with the gun by Barny · · Score: 5, Funny

    And after all that torture, all that pain and death, everyone who receives the message deletes it as spam....

    --
    ...
    /me sighs
  9. Re:What happens when you forget? by Ceriel+Nosforit · · Score: 5, Funny

    So you won't sell your account until you're dead, huh...

    Excuse me, I need to make a few phone calls.

    You've got a nice account, by the way. Very nice...

    --
    All rites reversed 2010
  10. Re:Feed the worms by kalirion · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe it will continue after your death, but considering the fact that the universe is merely a figment of my imagination, I predict that my death will have a greater impact.

  11. 16 Mexicans by solareagle · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Every Setpember, 16 Mexicans have a great party celebrating the revolution of Mexico but the fact is, that the revolution was not complete. " Is it the same 16 Mexicans every year? If you are one of only 16 Mexicans to attend this great party, you really need a Dead Man's Switch giving some one else your party spot!