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Low Earth Orbit Junk Yard Nearly Full

vlado4 writes "The New York Times has up an article on the amount of space junk in Earth Orbit. According to NASA officials, the amount of stuff we've put into LEO is at critical levels. Additionally they have great graphics of the nearly 1000 new pieces resulting from testing the new Chinese anti-satellite weapon, as well as the damage to Hubble's solar array. The litter is now so bad that, even if space-faring nations refrained from further interference, collisions would continue to create more clutter just above our atmosphere. Space debris appear to be a difficult problem to deal with and may hinder future space exploration."

35 of 443 comments (clear)

  1. No problem by 2.7182 · · Score: 4, Funny

    We'll just have the Chinese clear it out with their new laser death beam things.

    1. Re:No problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      The Chinese anti-satellite weapon that caused all of the space-debris was a missile. The Chinese laser death ray is something completely different. If you had been keeping up on current events instead of nitpicking posts on slashdot while sniffing magic markers you would know that.

    2. Re:No problem by AVryhof · · Score: 2, Funny

      Perhaps we need Megamaid

    3. Re:No problem by rblancarte · · Score: 5, Funny

      You can see that the stress of all the debris is having a bad effect on astronauts already.

      RonB

      --
      It is human nature to take shortcuts in thinking.
    4. Re:No problem by rucs_hack · · Score: 4, Funny

      "We'll just have the Chinese clear it out with their new laser death beam things."

      that will never work unless they can breed sharks that can survive in space..

    5. Re:No problem by Zephyros · · Score: 5, Funny

      And then when it's got everything, we can aim it at whomever we want and switch it from "suck" to "blow"...

    6. Re:No problem by mfrank · · Score: 5, Funny

      Just increase the rate of global warming. The warmer atmosphere will expand further into space, and all the junk will re-enter and burn up.

      Also, we can schedule a date and time where everybody exhales simultaneously. That'll help.

  2. Heh by Moby+Cock · · Score: 2, Funny

    I hereby claim ownership of the concept of the space zamboni.

    1. Re:Heh by ArcherB · · Score: 2, Funny

      How about a space vacuum?

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    2. Re:Heh by operagost · · Score: 4, Funny

      I anticipate that there will be a huge demand for brave space pilots to obliterate this menace. Therefore, I have already begun training on an advanced debris-elimination trainer software using the latest vector graphics technology. I realize that space is not two dimensional and the "hyperspace" technology has not yet been developed, but I will be prepared in advance once our brilliant scientists make space junk elimination possible. In addition, I will have a head start on blasting those flying saucers that will be piloted by our vile Chinese nemeses.

      --

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  3. Look at the bright side by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Space debris appear to be a difficult problem to deal with and may hinder future space exploration.

    Sure, but it also prevents stuff from comig in. Things like alien landers, etc. Or in an earth hostility only mode, it is a cheaper, and more effective, vresion of the Star Wars defense. Put more up there and let it shield us.

  4. Solution by EveryNickIsTaken · · Score: 5, Funny

    Launch a new ball of garbage into orbit to propel the old ball of garbage away from earth. It's foolproof.

    1. Re:Solution by Moby+Cock · · Score: 2, Funny



      The Katamari Damacy Solution. I like it.

  5. It will counter global warming by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 4, Funny

    All these debris collide with one another and create fine dust covering the earth. It will reflect just enough sunlight to reduce the amount of absorbed radiation to counter the global warming. What a great relief! Last momement reprieve, brought to you by Frank Merrywell.

    --
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  6. Hah--! by EinZweiDrei · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hey, wait, I played Math Blaster -- I am ready for this .

    --
    Perhaps life really is full of possibilities.
  7. new moon by mdemonic · · Score: 2, Funny

    Maybe it will become a new moon some day, and we could inhabit it, and create a new layer of orbiting junk

  8. We've finally done it. by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 3, Funny

    We've broken Space.

    I guess we'll just have to go back to throwing our crap exclusively into the air and oceans. Last one to the beach with a six-pack is a rotten egg!

  9. I have a radical idea by realmolo · · Score: 5, Funny

    NASA needs to cut a deal with Blizzard. Make each of the pieces of "space junk" an ultra-rare item in World of Warcraft that the players have to go and collect themselves.

    The problem will be solved in 3 months.

  10. Dear China, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    It seems you missed the announcement, the space junk race has been canceled. While your actions are impressive, and as irresponsible as any superpower has ever been, there is no need to attempt to catch up with the US and the states formerly known as the Soviet Union.

    You also might be interested to know that there has been a litany of terrestrial environmental mistakes made over the past century or so. While we recognize that it's you're right to fuck shit up on your own, we strongly suggest at least making an attempt to learn from mistakes already made.

    In summary, we all remember our first beer too, but come on, it's time to grow up a bit.

    Sincerely,

    The World

  11. saweet by esobofh · · Score: 5, Funny

    Soon those saturn bastards will envy OUR ring!!

    --

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    Esobofh - Currently drinking fresh mango juice.
  12. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 3, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  13. Re:Ok, didn't Nasa Tell teh Astronaughts not to fl by multipartmixed · · Score: 4, Funny

    > how much is human waist?

    Depending on the human, somewhere around around 32 inches.

    --

    Do daemons dream of electric sleep()?
  14. Java to the Rescue! by Flwyd · · Score: 3, Funny

    All space software should now be written in a garbage-collected language.

    --
    Ceci n'est pas une signature.
  15. Hafrumph!!! by StressGuy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Republican

    {...ducks...}

    --
    A goal is a dream with a deadline
  16. Re:How bad are we? by rblancarte · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does this make us the hillbilly's of the galaxy?

    What's next, a space station on cinder blocks?

    RonB

    --
    It is human nature to take shortcuts in thinking.
  17. A giant vacuum... by cobrajs · · Score: 2, Funny

    Now if only we could create some giant space vacuum...

  18. Re:Ok, didn't Nasa Tell teh Astronaughts not to fl by multisync · · Score: 2, Funny

    > how much is human waist?

    Depending on the human, somewhere around around 32 inches.
    Not around these parts.
    --
    I don't care why you're posting AC
  19. Re:Typical by Shiptar · · Score: 4, Funny

    Global warming. I burn all my garbage, vote republican and bought a fortress on a mountain.

    The sooner I get rid of you guys the better.

    Killing yourself is never the answer, killing everyone else is a better and less selfish solution.

  20. Re:Typical by Red+Flayer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Of course as soon as someone would have suggested that we find a way to clean up the space junk early on, they would have been derided for getting in the way and worrying about petty concerns.

    Bah, it's hubris to think that mankind has put enough stuff in LEO to affect the entire orbital space.

    Furthermore, what's to say that natural sources don't put more space junk in LEO than human processes?

    And who cares if we've "filled up" LEO -- surely technological advances will enable us to deal with the complications as they arise.

    And why should we (the US) have to bear the biggest burden of reducing the trash in LEO, when developing nations (those without a space program) get off scott free? It's not like we're the major contributor or anything.

    Besides, the jury is still out... plenty of independent* scientists dispute the findings of this study, and we should take no action until there is consensus.

    *Independent: funded by the "other side" of the interested parties
    --
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  21. Re:Not far off by buckeyeguy · · Score: 4, Funny

    So you're saying the Shuttle will be up on blocks. OK. Wonder how much a really big Trans Am decal would cost?

    --
    I'd have a personalized plate on my car, but "toxic bachelor" won't fit into 7 letters.
  22. Re:Not so bad, if you think about it by Z0mb1eman · · Score: 2, Funny

    From the article:

    "During an eight year period ending in 2002, the solar panels on the Hubble Telescope were struck by space debris at least 725,000 times. Five thousand of these left crates and holes large enough to be seen by the naked eye."

    Nope, not too high at all.

    --
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  23. Time for... by FuzzyDaddy · · Score: 3, Funny

    An enormous low earth orbit marshmallow. And it will get toasted on re-entry!

    --
    It's not wasting time, I'm educating myself.
  24. Junk Science by Nefarious+Wheel · · Score: 3, Funny

    Oh my gosh... now you can combine a science degree with an environmental studies degree and get a PhD in Junk Science!

    --
    Do not mock my vision of impractical footwear
  25. Bad astronaut behavior by EmbeddedJanitor · · Score: 2, Funny
    You have to admit that NASA is losing in the TV rankings war. This is just a scam to boost viewer interest.

    Weightless bitch-fighting.... hand me the beer and peanuts! Send 8 of 'em to space and they could make it into a survivor-style reality TV series.

    --
    Engineering is the art of compromise.
    1. Re:Bad astronaut behavior by networkBoy · · Score: 2, Funny

      Being voted off that island would certainly suck!
      -nB

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