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Asteroid Highlighted as Impact Threat

Posted by Zonk on from the please-bring-your-seatbacks-and-traytables dept.

Maggie McKee writes "The asteroid Apophis has been traversing the void of space for untold years; in just a few decades time it will make a very close pass to Earth, and could make an unwelcome stop on our planet's surface. Even still, it's nothing to get too worked up about. The 20-million-tonne object has a 1 in 45,000 chance of hitting the Pacific Ocean in early April of 2036. If it did hit, it could trigger a tsunami that would do an untold amount of damage to the California coastline and many other places on Earth. Despite the low level of the threat, it's still a real enough danger to prompt the United Nations to develop a protocol about the scenario. We'll get a closeup look at the object in 2029, and at that point we should have a better idea of what 2036 will bring us."

29 of 297 comments (clear)

  1. Call Bruce Willis by Corporate+Troll · · Score: 5, Funny

    We have some drilling to do!

    1. Re:Call Bruce Willis by sconeu · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, it's Apophis, so we call Jack O'Neill. Those darned Goa'uld!

      --
      General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
    2. Re:Call Bruce Willis by jfclavette · · Score: 5, Funny

      Talk about missing the point. In a few decades Bruce Willis might be DEAD ! Where does that leave us ?

    3. Re:Call Bruce Willis by D-Cypell · · Score: 3, Funny

      I, for one, vote that we let the asteroid come, and destroy the planet in an effort prevent the potential catastrophe of a follow-up to that movie.

      Anyway, with any luck, some smart intern has already pointed out that titling a movie 'armageddon' should, generally, rule out a sequel.

    4. Re:Call Bruce Willis by edwardpickman · · Score: 2, Funny

      He might still be around. If Keith Richards can live this long Willis could still be alive. He maybe a head in a fish bowl but there's still hope.

    5. Re:Call Bruce Willis by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      That's why they have remakes every 10 years or so...

      There'll be a younger, more emo version of Willis. May be one of those boy band idols...

    6. Re:Call Bruce Willis by twentynine · · Score: 2, Funny

      ben affleck was trained in the same field

  2. No Worries by blantonl · · Score: 5, Funny

    untold amount of damage to the California coastline

    Cancel that request... nothing to be worried about... nothing to see here. Move along folks..

    --
    Lindsay Blanton
    RadioReference.com
    1. Re:No Worries by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Let me be the first to say, "Surf's up!" Er... maybe a bad idea.

  3. Re:great by Corporate+Troll · · Score: 5, Funny

    Look at the bright side: we won't need to fix the Unix date overflow ;-)

  4. leaving nothing but a cool, beautiful serenity... by Rhesusmonkey · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...called Arizona Bay

    --
    You need more psychedelic art in your life. rhesusmonkey.deviantart.com
  5. Re:1 in 45,000 chance by Corporate+Troll · · Score: 5, Funny

    My wife plays the lottery, my bets are on total annihilation before she wins....

  6. Hmm. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I can sleep soundly now that I know the U.N. is on the case. /sarcasm

  7. Thanks by mustafap · · Score: 5, Funny

    >We'll get a closeup look at the object in 2029, and at that point we should have a better idea of what 2036 will bring us."

    I'll stick a reminder in outlook.

    --
    Open Source Drum Kit, LPLC deve board - mjhdesigns.com
  8. In other words... by TodMinuit · · Score: 2, Funny

    If it did hit, it could trigger a tsunami that would do an untold amount of damage to the California coastline and many other places on Earth.

    DOOMSDAY PARTY IN CHICAGO! WHOOO! *plays Conga by Miami Sound Machine*

    --
    I wonder if I use bold in my signature, people will notice my posts.
  9. The new protocol point by point.. by plasmacutter · · Score: 5, Funny

    1. set up an alert system:
      >>(green, no asteroid)
      >>(yellow, the asteroid MIGHT be near the earth)
      >>(orange, be careful when answering your door, IT MIGHT BE THE ASTEROID!)
      >>(red, we're already dead from the impact)

    2. earmark government funds to buy swimsuits and surfboards for all californians

    3. have congressional prayer sessions thanking the intelligent designer for wiping out the seat of all vice

    4. only give recovery funds to predominently white areas.

    5. Invade iraq in retaliation.

    --
    VLC FOR MAC IS DYING! IF YOU DEVELOP, PLEASE SAVE IT!!
  10. Ah, Wikipedia's dry humor. by Kadin2048 · · Score: 5, Funny
    By far the best part of that article:

    Using a (signed) 64-bit value introduces a new wraparound date in about 290 billion years, on Sunday, December 4, 292,277,026,596. However, this problem is not widely regarded as a pressing issue.
    --
    "Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
    1. Re:Ah, Wikipedia's dry humor. by smaddox · · Score: 4, Funny

      This will, however effect my plans of building a cryogenic chamber to freeze myself until they year 5,000,000,000,000. I would hate for the subtraction to overflow, and wake up in the year 707,722,973,404 BC. Actually, come to think of it, it would be interesting to see the universe before it was actually created.

  11. Re:Strange write-up by skewer · · Score: 5, Funny

    How can you know where it would hit (Pacific Ocean) but not the exact date (only "early April of 2036")? It seems that the Heisenberg uncertainty principle applies to astronomy too.
  12. Get me a Rickenbacker guitar by SamSim · · Score: 4, Funny

    And a gigantic iron to stand on.

    --
    qntm.org
  13. improbability by mpoloks · · Score: 4, Funny

    The 20-million-tonne object has a 1 in 45,000 chance of hitting the Pacific Ocean... which if you look at the numbers it's the area code of a small town where i met this incredible girl! how improbable...
    1. Re:improbability by name*censored* · · Score: 2, Funny

      where i met this incredible girl! how improbable...

      I'll say! You met a _GIRL_??
      --
      Commodore64_love: I don't comprehend people who're so frightened of death that they'll bankrupt themselves to stay alive
  14. Re:leaving nothing but a cool, beautiful serenity. by edwardpickman · · Score: 2, Funny

    I live in Phoenix. I'll have costal property to retire on without moving to Florida! The glass is way better than half full! Come on, baby needs a new beach!!!!!!

  15. 'nuff said by fermion · · Score: 2, Funny

    Even still, it's nothing to get too worked up about... If it did hit, it could trigger a tsunami that would do an untold amount of damage to the California ... Despite the low level of the threat...

    --
    "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
  16. Ob. HHGTTG by ozbird · · Score: 3, Funny

    "So this is it. We're going to die."

  17. obliterate california? by AIfa · · Score: 0, Funny

    i fail to see the reason for concern

  18. Never Fear, Space Garbage is Here! by TheSuperlative · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't worry, if it comes, by then our protective shield of space debris will destroy it before it can enter the atmosphere.

    --
    "In God we trust, all others we monitor." -- Unofficial NSA motto
  19. California? by Velocir · · Score: 1, Funny

    Who really cares about California? What about Japan, Australia (although no-one cares about them either), and most of all, New Zealand? By 2036 California will be a half-drowned ghetto...

  20. That depends. by jd · · Score: 3, Funny

    The coastline might make a break for it first. It might prove necessary to accelerate the asteroid to prevent this.

    --
    It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)