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Star Trek To Return Christmas 2008

Tycoon Guy writes "Paramount today announced the new Star Trek film is scheduled for release on Christmas Day 2008. The studio also confirmed the film will be directed by J. J. Abrams, who said the film will 'embrace and respect' Trek canon, but will also 'chart its own course.' Also today, rumors are out claiming Matt Damon, Adrien Brody and Gary Sinise will play Kirk, Spock, and Scotty, respectively."

42 of 358 comments (clear)

  1. oh good by User+956 · · Score: 5, Funny

    The studio also confirmed the film will be directed by J. J. Abrams, who said the film will 'embrace and respect' Trek canon, but will also 'chart its own course.'

    It's great that the guy charting that course is best known for a show called LOST.

    --
    The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
    1. Re:oh good by CaptainNerdCave · · Score: 2, Funny

      i honestly can't tell if you're being sarcastic or serious

    2. Re:oh good by Nefarious+Wheel · · Score: 2, Funny
      The correct process should be "Embrace, extend and extinguish..."

      More properly, "Embrace, Extend, Exterrrrmmminnnnaate!!!"

      Oh, that's gotta happen. Will Smith as The Doctor. Shatner as Davros. Wil Wheaton in a cameo with a red shirt.

      --
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  2. Only One Question by Psx29 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Will dax be in it!?

  3. Re:I've got a bad feeling about this by soft_guy · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't think they can make a DS9 movie because of the law they passed that hollywood has to make only movies that suck.

    --
    Avoid Missing Ball for High Score
  4. Fascinating... by cold+fjord · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...they are attempting to build a vehicle to harness the power of the stars. I wonder if they will achieve worf capability?

    --
    much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don't even know that fire is hot - George Orwell
  5. The Navigator by deathcow · · Score: 4, Funny


    Funny One:
    http://www.videosift.com/video/George-Takei-respon ds-to-Tim-Hardaways-homophobic-comments

    I wonder who will replace our flamboyant navigator.

  6. Re:Gah by laejoh · · Score: 0, Funny

    Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnn nnnnnnnn!

  7. Re:I've got a bad feeling about this by earnest+murderer · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't think they can make a DS9 movie because of the law they passed that hollywood has to make only movies that suck.

    I hear Shatner is in negotiations.

    --
    Platform advocacy is like choosing a favorite severely developmentally disabled child.
  8. Shatner is Kirk by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
  9. Re:Matt. . . by cold+fjord · · Score: 4, Funny


    Damon, Matt..... so the Ferengi are in it too?

    Lets just hope the audience doesn't just walk out screaming:

        We've been Khaaaaaaaannnnnnneeeedddd!!!

    --
    much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don't even know that fire is hot - George Orwell
  10. Re:Not too bad. by Edward+Teach · · Score: 2, Funny

    The old adage still seems to hold: Even numbered Star Trek movies don't totally suck.

    --

    Setting his threshold to 5, Sparky eliminated most of the trolls on /.

  11. Re:Boldly going where we went in the Sixties... by Cordath · · Score: 5, Funny

    P.S. I'm posting about Star Trek while sloshed. Life can sink no lower.

  12. LOST in space by goombah99 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I heard the working title of it was going to be "LOST in Space"

    --
    Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
    1. Re:LOST in space by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 4, Funny

      I don't get it: why is the latest Enterprise the NCC-4 8 15 16 23 42?

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  13. Re:I can't say those actors are a bad choice. by textstring · · Score: 1, Funny

    it's ok, you can come out of the closet on the internet

  14. Re:Oh jeez... by tm2b · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, but he might be the Kumquat Haagen-Dazs.

    --
    "It is our blasphemy which has made us great, and will sustain us, and which the gods secretly admire in us." - Zelazny
  15. Obligatory by popo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mmmaaaatt Daaaamon

    --
    ------ The best brain training is now totally free : )
    1. Re:Obligatory by gbjbaanb · · Score: 4, Funny

      Spock: "Captain, the warp coils are overloaded and the enemy has us locked in weapons range".

      Kirk: "Yes Spock, looks like we need a montage".

  16. Re:I've got a bad feeling about this by jcr · · Score: 3, Funny

    How would a DS9 movie break such a rule?

    -jcr

    --
    The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
  17. Re:Beating a Dead Horse by cold+fjord · · Score: 4, Funny
    On a serious note, there is plenty of room for reimagining Star Trek, retelling the adventures with fresh faces or perspectives, or picking up on story lines open but never followed. What happens to future crews on the shore leave planet? What happends to the star ship that goes to collect next years taxes on the planet in "A Piece of the Action"? Just look at the evolution of Batman from camp series to the Keaton movie to Batman Begins.

    On a humorous note, imagine John Madden playing Spock:

    Spock: Captain, if you look here (circles empy space on viewer) this is were the bird of prey would be if you could see it, but you can't see, so it's invisible, and you can't see it. And when you can't see a ship, it's cloaked. Now as it moves laterally (Draws diagonal line from empty circle), and you can't see it, but you fire photon torpedoes, sort of like a Brett Farve pass that explodes, and it hits the bird of prey, well then, BOOM, and that's one dead bird of prey.

    Kirk: Sulu, fire at Spock's coordinates!

    Sulu: Aye Captain! .... A hit! We destroyed the bird of prey!

    Kirk: No Sulu, I meant shoot Spock, I can't take this any more!

    --
    much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don't even know that fire is hot - George Orwell
  18. Probably another time travel episode by Dachannien · · Score: 2, Funny

    Adrian Brody as Spock, huh?

    The plot: Kirk, Spock, and crew travel back in time to early 21st century Earth using the tried-and-true slingshot effect. They are arrested by police for their suspicious activities as they recon various historic landmarks in the United States. When a policeman removes the dew rag that Spock is wearing around his face, Kirk must convince him that Spock's appearance is due to a childhood accident in which his nose was caught in a mechanical rice picker.

  19. Who are these uninitiated? by tm2b · · Score: 2, Funny

    They're going to worry about it being viewable by the UNINITIATED? Like, the 3 of them who will see this movie?

    Guys, you've already lobbed ten of these over the fence and saturated 2nd tier television stations with reruns of the myriad TV versions. ANYBODY (okay, anybody who was older than 6 when the last one came out) who is likely to see this stinker is pretty going to have to know at least the basics about Star Trek - except perhaps for that Bedouin family that's been lost in the deserts of Cleveland since the Korean war ended 24 years ago.

    Of course, they'll probably have to find a mysterious advanced technology device from the past, with a drawing of Kirk embedded in its design along side a warning. No worries, that's actually Kirk's sister. Spock's father will play a role in having deceived the Andorians into helping form the Federation, and his mother will have hidden his lost sister away behind a mysterious hatch on a jungle moon. Everything will go topsy-turvy when the Klingons take off their masks and turn out to have been from Secion 31 the whole time, and everything will end with no satisfying explanation having been given for any of this. But by that time, everybody will have forgotten why they entered the theater in the first place.

    --
    "It is our blasphemy which has made us great, and will sustain us, and which the gods secretly admire in us." - Zelazny
  20. Re:Scotty != Bones by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Actually the story begins with Scotty and Bones being merged in a transporter accident.

  21. Re:Scotty != Bones by dabraun · · Score: 4, Funny

    I don't know if the editors decided not to RTFA, but TFA doesn't talk about Scotty at all, rather is saying that the role is for Bones.

    Shhhhh .... scotty doesn't know.
  22. I just hope by clickclickdrone · · Score: 2, Funny

    That they are found by the Galactica and Adama promptly puts them all out their misery.

    --
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  23. Re:Good news! by fellip_nectar · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is Slashdot. You may not post "Good News" without the "Everyone".

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  24. Re:I've got a bad feeling about this by RatRagout · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does that mean this will be a Star Trek "holiday special" ? (http://www.starwarsholidayspecial.com/)

  25. Re:I've got a bad feeling about this by sorak · · Score: 4, Funny

    Somehow those rumours frighten and shock me. A Kirk that isn't Shatner and a Spock that isn't Nimoy?

    What about a DS9 movie?

    Starring Will Smith as Cisco, Macaulay Culkin as quark, and Wilmer Valderrama as Dr. Bashir

  26. Re:I've got a bad feeling about this by webbod · · Score: 2, Funny

    J.J. Abrams is one of the guys who brought us "Lost" - coming December 2008 "Star Trek XI - Lost in Space" - Brent Spiner to play Robbie the Robot with a cameo from Matt le Blanc playing crewman #7.

  27. Re:Hey. Stop it. by Flyboy+Connor · · Score: 5, Funny

    How about: "Star Trek: The Crusher Adventures", in which Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton, of course, who is about the right age now) uses his Traveller powers to explore far reaches of the Universe. During the first six or seven episode, Wesley roams the known part of the Galaxy to round up a crew of ultra-geniuses whom he can also teach the Traveller gifts. No Vulcans, since they are too "logical" for such advanced knowledge, and no Klingons because they are too stupid. Several humans, of course, such as Mature-Guy, Black-Guy, and Hot-Babe, and several aliens, such a Plaster-Face, Funny-Hair, and a CGI-generated energy-based lifeform. Perhaps even Orion-Slave-Girl. While originally being able to travel without any visible means of transportation, Captain Wesley decides in season 2 that it would be a good idea to have a cool ship, as a place to call home and to transport aliens and goods. As an hommage to his mentor, he calls it the USS Traveller.

    I am joking, of course, but I would not be surprised to find that this has already been the subject of several novels and a whole lot of fanfic.

  28. MAT DAAAAA-MON MAT DAAAAAA-MON 8-O by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    You are a huge nerd *comic dog robot voice*

  29. Re:I've got a bad feeling about this by nightsweat · · Score: 4, Funny

    I - I would pay to see that, I'm afraid to say.

    --

    the major advances in civilization are processes which all but wreck the societies in which they occur - A.N. White
  30. Re:Don't forget by markov_chain · · Score: 5, Funny

    No - Britney Spears as Picard.

    --
    Tsunami -- You can't bring a good wave down!
  31. Re:Scotty != Bones by NormalVisual · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a mechanic!! Oh, wait..."

    or

    "This is normally a 5 hour surgical procedure, but I'll have you buttoned up in two!"

    --
    Please stand clear of the doors, por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas
  32. Re:Hey. Stop it. by Jesus_666 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Actually, they have an all-new concept:

    - Scotty has wry humor and uses the sentence "I'm an engineer, Jim, not a *" all the time.
    - McCoy maintains that logic is the answer to everything.
    - Spock has slept with every female on the planet.
    - Uhura can fix any machine in half the time she should be able to.
    - Kirk is rarely seen without a metal dongle in his ear. And a mini skirt. Starfleet Academy wasn't his most glorious time, you see.

    Also, every character who wears any kind of red uniform cannot be killed by any means whatsoever. Indeed, Starfleet is experimenting with ship plating made of redshirts.

    --
    USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
  33. Re:I've got a bad feeling about this by brouski · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm sorry, but did you even watch Enterprise?

    --
    Proud member of the American Non Sequitur Society. We might not make much sense, but boy do we love pizza!
  34. One correction... by MachineShedFred · · Score: 3, Funny

    Instead of Will Smith, get Samuel L. Jackson.

    "Fire the GOD DAMN PHASERS AT THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS."

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    1. Re:One correction... by sorak · · Score: 2, Funny

      Instead of Will Smith, get Samuel L. Jackson.

      "Fire the GOD DAMN PHASERS AT THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS."

      I don't want to see "Snakes on the Defiant"

  35. A better casting for Spock by AnalogDiehard · · Score: 3, Funny
    Put Keanu Reeves in the role of Spock. Not only would he look the part...

    Kirk: Spock, what is your analysis of that space anomaly that is about to assimilate this ship?
    Spock: Whoa!

    --
    Eternity: will that be smoking, or non-smoking? I Corinthians 6:9-10
  36. Re:Hey. Stop it. by NoMoreNicksLeft · · Score: 2, Funny

    Star Trek: Klingon Glory

    They aren't the most cunning warriors in the empire. They get in alot of trouble, sent on a mission to protect the backwater sectors. But it all works out in the end.

    (Cameos by Dorn and Frakes)
    Captain Riker: "These have to be the stupidest klingons I've ever met!"
    First Officer Worf, holding forehead in his hand, just sighs...

    Mostly as a Lone Gunmen-esque action comedy, complete spoken in thlinganHol with subtitles. It could work!

  37. Re:MAT DAAAAA-MON MAT DAAAAAA-MON 8-O by Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp · · Score: 4, Funny

    "News for Nerds. Stuff that matters."

    Triumph robot dog voice: You have read this deeply into an article about the casting of a Star Trek movie.

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