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9 Laws of Physics That Don't Apply in Hollywood
Ant writes "Neatorama lists nine laws of physics that don't apply in Hollywood (movies and television/TV shows). In general, Hollywood filmmakers follow the laws of physics because they have no other choice. It's just when they cheat with special effects that people seem to forget how the world really works..."
You don't see people's skeleton glow when they are being electrocuted.
How about the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect vacuum?
Hollywood movies suck so much it seems like they violate this one.
blah blah blah
Time is rarely shown as continuous, forward moving, and in real time.
They are always using edits, skipping stuff and even going backwards and forwards. Really makes it hard to enjoy a film with your sense of reality totally shattered.
#DeleteChrome
Hollywood are not meant to learn about real world. It is about entertainment.
And that folks, is why we have such films as "An Inconvenient Truth".
1 Law of Computers That Doesn't Apply in Hollywood: Computer passwords cannot always be guessed in 3 tries.
"It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."
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they can stop a plane feet from the ground.
The article says that the frequency of middle C is 256 Hz. Sorry, no, it's approximately 261.6Hz. Analysis: the article is quite flat.
Which is why it's pure comedy gold when they talk about politics.
Prof. Farnsworth - "Oh a lesson in not changing history from Mr I'm-My-Own-Grandpa!"
I got a chance to fire some incendiary rounds recently. Talk about sparking.
The discussion wouldn't be complete without a reference to the Cartoon Laws of Physics.
Frightening to think that grown adults still think that real life is like a television show or movie. Do they think that 80 lb. girls go around beating the Hell out 200 lb. vampires too? Do they think that groups of 20-somethings working in coffee shops are really able to afford vast New York City lofts? Do they think that there is any way Jack Tripper ISN'T gay?
-Eric
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
And let us not forget that most people don't immediately put their underwear and pjs on after having drunken one-night stands, thereby allowing them to get up all embarassed but fully clothed in the morning.
Everytime I see that I laugh out loud. Like, babe, 6 hours ago you were chugging his cock, and NOW you're embarassed?
Life needs more saving throws.
Do they have car tyres squealing everywhere, even on sand at 5mph?
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... that the Law of Slashdotting remains in effect.
Imagine how short movies would be if they all followed the laws of physics...Hero fires a handgun at enemy, ducks under a table, gets shot at, runs and jumps off a ledge to the ground below, twists an ankle because the fall was about 5 feet, limps away, and gets killed by gunfire. End of movie.
5.62 Millimeter...
Full... Metal... Jacket...!!!
Sorry, couldn't resist. One of my favorite movies of all time.
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In a strange reversal, I sometimes notice the conspicuous absence of "danger music" when I am driving too fast or shoplifting.
When the only tool you have is a claw hammer every problem starts to look like the back of someone's skull.
yeah...or the fact I'm in MOTHERF*CKIN SPACE!
My friend made a similar comment about the original Star Wars..."Imagine if Luke, Leia and Han Solo got crushed in the garbage compactor in the Death Star--end film. Best. Movie. Ever."
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
yes and no
That belongs in the tags, not the comments.
That's one of my peeves. They're always showing the bad guys shooting dozens of rounds at the hero, and they always miss. If I was that bad a shot, I think I'd retire from crime.
Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
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Do they mean, uh, darkness?
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
Mood lighting. If you want sparks, you need mood lighting, a little vino, and some sexy R&B.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
Perhaps he is a scuba diver?
It also appears they lack a sense of humor.
it is only after a long journey that you know the strength of the horse.
Physics? Ok, nerds. Here's some movie laws of sociology that do not apply.
1. Nerds are not good looking
2. Nerds are not cool with the ladies
3. Nerds do not "get the girls"
4. No hot babe is gonna have a "moment" when you stare into each other's eyes and fall in love with you. As you lean in, she'll go "ick" and put up the palm of her hand. As if!
5. If a nerd actually saves the planet in reality, the hot girl will still go with the hairy, sweaty janitor.
6. If you finally get so ticked off you take a swing at the big bully, he beats the crap out of you again, anyway.
7. The hot girl laughs at you and starts giving the bully head while you cry and crawl off in search of pr0n.
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
A real marine should be able to carry a chain saw, a pistol, a shot gun, a chain gun, a plasma rifle, and a rocket launcher. Each with several cases of ammo.
I often have trouble remembering which way is out of bed in the morning.