Work Unhappy or Move On?

dunnowhat2type asks: "I grew up around a big city (suburbs of NY) and went to college in a relatively different area (upstate NY). After graduating last May, I took a job in the area where I went to college. I started in July, and was given a relocation package contingent on me staying for a year. Since August, I haven't been happy with the area I have been living in and have actively been pursuing employment back in the city. What am I better off doing: Is it better to be miserable with money, work experience, and health insurance; or going home and being happy, but unemployed?" In January, the program I was working on got cancelled and my manager didn't want to commit me to something long-term, with the knowledge that I didn't plan on staying more than six months. He made me a time-based offer (probably expiring soon) that he'd take every effort to get the relocation payback waived if I were to resign, find an internal transfer, or another job. I had a couple of interviews a month ago, but nothing else has happened, and this uncertainty (with the pressure of having to make this decision) has made the last two weeks really hellish."

Comments

Re:In the city?

[heinousjay]

There's only one city that's "the city." If you don't know what it is, maybe your reading comprehension skills can kick in and you can figure it out from context.

I'll give you a hint: it's really fuckin big.

At least stick it out to the year mark...

[topical_surfactant]

...You don't want to have to pay 'em back for the relocation expenses.

Re:At least stick it out to the year mark...

[thegrassyknowl]

If the job isn't what you signed the contract for (ie the position dried up and they moved you into another position) the contract is null and void. You are within your rights to quit and not have to pay them back (yes, I consulted a lawyer about something very similar a while ago). I'd go and get a lawyer and pay the money for a consultation. A lot give you the first 30 mins free anyway.

If you're unhappy, it's causing you undue stress. You don't need that. IF you stick it out you'll become bitter and that will show up at other interviews. If the job is so bad and it causes you too much stress you might even wind up sick. You don't want that either. Get out and find something more enjoyable. Work shouldn't have to be a chore. If it's not fun you're in the wrong job.

Re:At least stick it out to the year mark...

[WgT2]

...You don't want to have to pay 'em back for the relocation expenses.

...and be unemployed with less than a year of experience AND less than a year at one job.

You wouldn't happen to have a trust fund would you? Because if you're seriously considering bailing because of being unhappy for 12 months, you're strenth is weak. But, if you'll just hang in there, and remember what makes you unhappy about this job... or its location, you're less likely to make a later choice that puts you in the same position or worse. Then, you will be that much stronger.

Also, as an earlier (I think) poster mentioned, recruiters can be very helpful: even if they don't directly land you a job they can give you an overview of the job market for your skills (for better or worse) and they can be great cheerleaders for you (which is part of them being good sales people to the clients they try to place you with).

Re:At least stick it out to the year mark...

[paeanblack]

...and remember:

"Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes unhappiness a whole lot easier"

Re:At least stick it out to the year mark...

[sumdumass]

When I was younger, I had a time span were I couldn't find a job. One of the local plants closed down and the areas was flodded with unemployed people with a job record ten times as good as I could have had.

I have even had my five years experience in driving a truck over the road for the same employer play an important factor in getting hired to repiar computers at one job. Work experience is more then what have you done. It is proving you have the ability to stick though it when times are tuff as well as easy. Having your first job finish out the contract time or just being able to show you completed what you were expected to do makes all the difference in the world when getting a new job.

The submiter should think about what looks better under the reason for leaving previous job part of the application?

• I quite because I was unhappy and they cancelled what I was working on.
• I finished my contract out and because of my performance they didn't need to refill my position.
• I finished my contract and decided i didn't want to work for them in the future.
• My project was pulled/canceled and I didn't have enough time left on my contract to start another.

I mean think about it, If you were in charge of hiring, who would you want to talk to first out of these three responses? Now look at it from the perspective that hundreds or more people might be applying with the same or simular answers. And then think about what makes you stand out from everyone else. If your happy with how that works and think a future employer will be too, take that scenario. You happiness now means nothing compared to your happiness in the future.

Re:At least stick it out to the year mark...

[WgT2]

Spot on.

Re:At least stick it out to the year mark...

[garnetlion]

You happiness now means nothing compared to your happiness in the future.

I wasted years believing that philosophy. There's always more "future" to sacrifice for. Work on making now happy, and the future will fall into place.

Re:At least stick it out to the year mark...

[Guntram Shatterhand,]

Yeah, don't stay until you're bitter. I just got out of a job that was hell on wheels and full of people who did nothing more than make my life miserable. I found a better job and got out of there and that was the most freeing moment of my life. Life's too short for stressful jobs.

stick it out for the year

[Anonymous Coward]

Practically every job sucks, you might as well get used to struggling through the sucky times here, or else, when you finally do get your dream job, and it gets a little rough, you might not be prepared for what it takes to slog through that -- in some ways, running into obstacles in your dream job can be even more stressful.

The trick to dealing with a job that sucks is to put in just enough effort that, when you leave, you'll be happy with the reference that you get from them. If you need something to do in the meantime in order to feel fulfilled, consider this time as a chance to prepare for your real dream job, either through further job searching, or developing the necessary skills. Just don't let it screw up where you're working now (future employers at your possible dream job won't like that).

Re:stick it out for the year

[Anonymous Coward]

I've taken this theory, I graduated with my associates last year and I'm stuck (divorced with kids) in a rural community. I put in good work and I really do try to have a good attitude, but there's this issue coming up in that I can make more money doing something else. My job applies as "relative work experience" and I have learned a little bit since I've been there but is it really going to be different in two years when I've got my AAS in CIS, Network+ certified with two years experience in tech support? Does the two years experience in tech support and a certification that reiterates what I learned in school really that important or am I just going to be sitting around in tech support four years from now with a dozen certifications and living on welfare? I'm a smart kid, but there's no way I can go to a university full time and get a CS degree, I figured I could study in my spare time and pick up some certifications to show that I am willing to put in extra work. Now it seems like from the time I started school there were jobs for me, jobs even at the school I went to, now those same jobs require two years experience and a preference for certification. I feel like I'm growing underneath a bar that is raised as soon as I can touch it.

Re:stick it out for the year

[JNighthawk]

I dunno what you're talking about "practically every job sucks." I'm ridiculously happy with my job, as are a lot of other people out there. I think it's a 50/50 split between jobs sucking and not.

Re:stick it out for the year

[Anonymous Coward]

Hand the kids over to a family member and enlist. Get a technical specialty (don't let a recruiter tell you Combat Arms is technical either) that will likely require a clearance. You get a clearance (very marketable), a chance to get out of bumf*ck, and the opportunity to win some fame. Save your money while you are in (don't drink) and go to college when you're off-duty or after your enlistment is over. Of course there are risks, but if you aren't willing to take them, then you deserve to be stuck. Your children need a future, so make one for yourself and then you can make one for them.

Re:In the city?

[BrokenHalo]

In any case, "better off" can mean all sorts of things, depending on just how bad the situations are. However, lots of people don't have the luxury of a job they are happy with.

Generally speaking, though, you are much more likely to score a new job if you're already in one. If you're unemployed, you go to the back of the queue, since people think you're probably desperate. Maybe try talking to a recruiting agency.

my take

[lawpoop]

It's easier to find a job when you have one. There is some kind of psychology that happens when you are interviewed -- if you have a job, it looks like you are successful and worth having at a company. If you have no job, it looks like you are a loser. Not saying that either is true, but that's the basic idea someone gets when you are in an interview. You can convince them otherwise during the interview process, but why not start things off on the right foot?

Also, you will have to figure out how to fit work into your life from this point on. You're a long way from retirement. I don't recommend voluntarily leaving employment for non-employment. Have your next thing lined up -- go back to school, travel and do some soul-searching, take on a new job, do something other than just 'moving back home'.

Oh, and you can never go home. You won't be happy if you go back home ( especially if you're not working ). Everything has changed -- including you. You're not a child anymore, and you have to start learning how to take care of yourself. It's tough, but the more you tough it out, the quicker you will find your niche.

Re:my take

[Anonymous Coward]

There is nothing more pathetic than 20somethings who are still trying to "find themselves" and at a quandary as to how to handle life. I have no sympathy for the pussies. I've known teenagers who had to fight for everything they ever got in life and didn't have the time or self indulgences to waste away through several college years boozing only to return later on and whine about how hard life is and how unhappy working for a living is.

The short answer to the kid is life sucks and it's hard and you need to grow up and stop being a pussy.

Re:my take

[Frumious Wombat]

Having what would once have been called a melancholic personality, and been through variations on your theme, a few thoughts:

Firstly, living in Upstate, half your problem at the moment may be simply that it's dark and cold this time of year. You need, seriously, to make an effort to get out and meet people, or at least be somewhere where people are having lives and demonstrating some kind of energy. If you're near where you went to college, and it's full of people from the City, then spending some time on the local coffee-house/gallery/bar scene isn't all bad, as long as you don't spend too much time with depressing and defeated locals. Don't be afraid of seeing a doctor, and checking into antidepressants either, if you're having motivational problems. Don't make your situation worse by letting a depressing gig depress you to the point you can't function, making the whole scene worse. There's a lot to be said for Upstate, including that while you can get to the City fairly easily, housing is cheap, and if you start a business, there are tax-favored zones and lots of available facilities at reasonable rates. Drag a couple more City-dwellers in on it, and you may get something rolling.

OTOH, it's time to start planning your next move. Moving is hard, staying put it easy, but some times it's time to go. Look for a new gig, plan your own business, become a contractor for a year (a former boss of mine, high in the University IT world, did that once for a couple years between director-level jobs at a pair of major private U's.) Whatever you do, unemployment is not cool, unless you really have a goal of becoming a downwardly-mobile slacker, ending up in a Van Down by the River. (and if you went to school where I suspect you did, the whole blasted county is going to flood when this snow melts anyway) Moving back in with your parents isn't either. I know people do it, but the only way to do it now is if you have a job, and you need a temporary crash spot that's within commuting distance of your job. The job had better be worth it, too. Partly you want to keep the habit of working, and partly you need to keep up public appearances that you're not a useless drain on society. Sharks are right; keep moving or else.

Finally, if you really can't make yourself find the good side of where you live, and you really need to live in the City, then go. I had a job for years that was a decent job in theory, but my coworkers and the commute were ruining my physical and mental health. Now I'm freezing in the dark of Upstate, but haven't been this contented in a decade. I'm an obligate East-coaster, and therefore can drive anywhere that I care about (City, Philly, Jersey Shore), in 3-5 hours, and still have access to the museums of Rochester/Syracuse, the Great Lakes, and the mountains. I spent too many years hating where I lived, and trying to convince myself that the job compensated. If you have this problem, then give it a real try, but admit that you may be, at least at this stage of your life, too acclimated to your own small piece of turf to be happy elsewhere. Make sure it's that, and not just post-graduation, "oh my god I've got to act like an adult now", but if it is, don't deny it.

Good luck.

Life is short.

[Puff of Logic]

Choose happiness. If you can get that waiver, and if you're cool with living simply for a bit, you can probably get by until you find a new job. Of course, that's contingent on your financial situation, since I don't know if you've fallen into the trap that so many people have: accruing enough debt that any loss of income is catastrophic. If you're fortunate enough to be able to pare down your living expenses to an absolute minimum, definitely choose happiness. Fall back, consider your options, and then move on with a clear mind and firm intent.

I've met too many damned people (and I mean that in the Dante's Inferno sense) who are trapped in a horrific cycle of misery due to their job, living arrangements, or debt. Too many are either unable to change their lives, or are too scared to take the leap and make a change. Ultimately, I think it comes down to what's more important to you: security and stability that may be stifling and unfulfilling, or the uncertain pursuit of happiness and self-actualisation. Oddly enough, I think the entire nation is struggling with that same decision right now! Of course, the two aren't mutually exclusive, but I'd advise you to choose happiness over stability any day of the week.

Re:Life is short.

[cyphercell]

OFFTOPIC, but funny

Who meta-moderates the meta-moderators?

They are the "macro/micro moderators" they are well versed in modonomics and fiat intellectualism. Some say the card house of fiat intellectualism will fall as it is truly a paperless based currency that only carries the value a mindless mob gives it. People of this ilk are inclined to say that the former gray matter and credential based intellectualism was far more practical as noted experts had actually previously been proven to be smart. Modonomics however, holds that the credential based intellectual currency doesn't hold up. Mainly because the smarter you the more you are outnumbered by people that are dumb. This in itself is proof that the credentialed intellectuals were actually stupid for trying to argue with a large reactive mob, in fact when carrying this theory to conclusion it can be shown that the more credentials and gray matter someone has the dumber they are, as they are constantly arguing with a larger an larger group of people. The credentialed intellectuals have unanimously agreed that this is stupid, at which point the Modonomists exclaimed "precisely, we are happy to see that you see things our way and we can now continue making expert opinions up by popular vote". At this point the credentialed intellectuals were enraged and challenged these "Modonomists" to an intellectual contest. Unfortunately, the intellectuals typically know nothing about the 11th episode of survivor, who anna nicole smith is nor how she died, and these poor credentialed intellectuals couldn't unanimously answer "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you ________", once the contest was over the large gray matter carrying homo sapiens were found to be cosmetically offensive. They were then sentenced to have their brains sucked out and implanted into their biceps, chest, lips, and ass as appropriate for gender and the new plasticized beauty standard. Fortunately, they are now capable of breeding with much of the regular populace now that they are more suited for holding meaningful conversations about Thursday night television and how fat and unattractive their neighbors are.

Dude...

[PaulBu]

If you seriously consider "being happy but unemployed" -- by all means, please be! You do not have too much time until such a choice is no longer an option, seriosuly!

Paul B.

P.S. Upstate NY is not too bad though, if you were posting from some middle of nowhere I might've given a less cynical advice! :)

Re:In the city?

[Timesprout]

Yeah but to be fair when you are in Minas Tirith the Orc invasions can be a bit tiresome so the poster has a point.

Listen to your manager

[Anonymous Coward]

From your post it sounds like you have been asked to resign.

Your manager doesn't want you to commit you to anything because he knows you are not staying longer than 6 months. He also offered to waive your penalty if you would just quit. It sounds like you have been shown the door. If you are unhappy your work performance is probably slipping as well. Take the hint before your manager becomes more forceful.

Unemployment sucks a lot though. Find a job so you can land softly rather than in a cardboard box.

Go Home

[Seumas]

I'm sure life will be much more enjoyable without good money, a career and healthcare. Why, some of the happiest people I know are either bums living in the overhang entrances to muffin shops or slackers still living with mom and dad into their 20s.

Women love a man who is happy and can't provide and there's nothing like paying your expenses with happiness. Why, just the other day I paid my $150 electricity bill with three smiles and traded a hearty handshake for a four star dinner and a pepsi.

Re:Go Home

[Anonymous Coward]

Why, just the other day I paid my $150 electricity bill with three smiles and traded a hearty handshake for a four star dinner and a pepsi.

Your in sales aren't you?

Why would you CHOOSE to be miserable?

[Anonymous Coward]

First of all, you're at a time in your life when you have plenty of options. And you're also in a time in your life when you'll start to develop habits and beliefs that will guide you in the future.

One recommendation is to drop any limiting beliefs. It's never either/or. You can be happy, AND have money, AND gain experience. You can even be unemployed at the same time (or well, self-employed). Once you start to truly believe this, opportunities will appear like magic. If you don't believe me, then stop reading.

Don't think of your situation as "hellish". Think of it as the most amazing opportunity to move forward you've ever had in your life up this point. Don't just do a "couple" interviews, do one as often as you can. Interview to be a burger flipper at McDonalds, whatever, just get on your feet and talk to people.

Another recommendation above was to just "do something". That's generally good advice as well. Don't just "go home".

One thing the world doesn't need is more of those boring, depressing people who have no lives outside of work, yet WHINE about their jobs and bosses so that that don't feel all alone in their little dark hole they CHOSE to bury themselves in. So don't be one of those guys. They don't die happy.

You can earn money in many ways. You can buy your own health insurance. You can gain experience on your own. The only thing you can't do "on your own" is learn about office politics, ass-kissing, backstabbing, being on the wrong end of sexual harrassment lawsuit, having your ideas "owned" by your company, and all the fun stuff that having a "normal" job gets you.

Of course you are free to disagree, but it worked for me.

New York City without a job?

[eric76]

New York City without a job?

That doesn't sound so bad. After all, how much can it cost to live there?

Find a $50 / month apartment (probably have to settle for a single bedroom at that price) across the street from Central Park and have a great time.

Re:New York City without a job?

[Shneids]

I hope your being sarcastic about the $50/month. Try $1000 for an 8'x8' one bedroom. I went to school in Rochester, so I know what your dealing with. I'm now working in the city, living in Hoboken across the river which is much cheaper than living in the city. I love it. Nothing can compare to the experience to work in the city. But you need that "New York attitude" to really be successful here. All of the offers I was given in the city were substantially more than anything I got in Rochester. Bottom line, I am much happier in the city, plus its a better job than anything I was offered in Rochester.

Re:New York City without a job?

[eric76]

Not sarcastic, just interjecting a bit of humor.

Not long ago, after watching too many movies that take place in New York City over the years, I got curious what housing expenses in New York would be like and so I looked up some realtos on the Internet and looked through their listings.

After seeing that, it would take an enormous pay increase to induce me to move to New York City.

I don't know that I could take the crowds there, anyway.

If I was going to move to the East Coast, I think I'd rather head for Maine, Vermont, or New Hampshire.

Re:New York City without a job?

[Mex]

Well, Friends did it for 10 years!

Think Bigger

[Bitmanhome]

Wow, those previous answers were great, I'm not sure I can beat them. But here's my add anyway:

Don't think about "this job" or "this city", think about your life: where do you want to be in 10 years? If you don't know, what about 5 years? If you still don't know, just figure out what you want *next* year. Then determine which of the options before you will get you one step closer to that plan.

Sometimes the job itself, though sucky, will get you closer. Sometimes the job is useless, but the *money* gets you closer.

As for the relocation thing, you might see if your company has an ombudsman to help you iron that out.

From experience...

[hendersj]

If it were me, I'd quit if I could get reimbursed for the relocation package.

I've worked a few jobs, and there was one where I ended up being given the option of resigning or them letting me go (this was a fairly complicated situation involving an ineffective direct manager and an unresponsive director over him). I spent 18 months at that company, was hired by the VP, and then the director and manager jobs were backfilled. I even recommended the boss be hired as a technician when he interviewed because he had very good technical skills.

He was then promoted to manager, and the team, in my estimation (and that of several of my teammates, all of whom I understand have left since then) everything went to hell. The boss would take credit for our work, but was quick to mete out blame when things went wrong. It was the most miserable job I have ever had - working on a team with *no* morale is no fun. The boss even showed up to a going-away party *uninvited* and the departee and the boss (who were friends before the departee was hired) got into it in the resturaunt. It was not pretty.

This is not to say the people I worked with (other than my immediate boss) were terrible people to work with; I liked them rather a lot, and that's part of the reason I stuck my neck out and said there was a serious problem that needed to be fixed.

In the end, I opted for 3 months of unemployment as opposed to staying with the company. I was only asked to leave because I made waves about there being a problem - they were always happy with my work (I got good job performance reviews). Mr. Director said basically that he could lose one person or he could lose two people - and he assumed that when I told him I wasn't sure if I'd stay if he got rid of Mr. Boss that I was really saying that I'd leave. I would actually have stayed if Mr. Boss had left - but when it came down to it, it was a huge weight off my shoulders when I walked out of there for the last time, and I've never ever looked back.

Three months later, I landed a job through a contracting company with a Fortune 50 company. The F50 company bought out the contract before my first day on the job, and I spent 6 years there as a full-time employee. Got almost twice the money of the previous job (a very nice surprise in the offer letter). It was a good job until an opportunity at my current employer came up that I couldn't refuse.

From my own experience, dreading to get up and go into work is even worse than getting up and realizing that you're not collecting a paycheck. Even with mortgage payments being missed and the mortgage company threatening foreclosure, I'd take that over going back to the hell-hole of a job I worked in any day of the week.

About the only good thing to come out of the experience was that - as a technical instructor (something I regularly did for a couple years), I had plenty of good examples about how *not* to motivate people and how *not* to approach troubleshooting. There were some *really* bad techniques in use there.

Just remember this: Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted. You will walk away with something useful.

Upstate????

[Anonymous Coward]

I can't take anyone seriously who thinks Binghamton is upstate. Christ, it's on the border of Pennsylvania.

It seems that people think that anything north of NYC is upstate. The Adirondak region, Watertown, Saratoga, even...upstate. Binghamton, Cortland, Elmira, NYC, Long Island, Jamestown, downstate!

You want to experience upstate at it's finest? Go north of Albany. You want to really experience the beauty of upstate NY? Go into the Adirondaks, visit Lake Champlain, 1000 Islands, etc...

But please, don't insult everyone in NY state by referring to everything north of NYC as upstate...There's a shitload of state north of NYC.

leave

[coaxial]

I had a similar experience. I had a good job, but I didn't enjoy it. I left. I went to gradschool, and havent missed it yet. There's no reason to be miserable.

That said, you've kind of screwed yourself by telling people that you're looking to leave. You should have stayed a year. It looks a bit odd when you leave in less than a year, but whatever.

I just got fired

[Anonymous Coward]

I just got fired and I am really excited about finding another job. Sure, I'd rather be one of those 'I have a job but I'm looking for a change' dillitants but it just didn't work out that way. As a developer, my next salary is almost certain to be higher than my last one, especially since I chose "happiness" over looking for a higher salary last time.

Now I'm unemployed, broke, and excited. I figure I have about 1.5 months before I have to tell my parents that I'm broke and unemployed. If the job market is anything like it was when I took my last job about a year ago then I should be fine. If not, then I'm F'ed in the A.

Either way I'm tired of being micromanaged to death by some incompetent piece of shit manager who wouldn't know good software development if it imed him several times a day trying to get him to at least micromanage him in the right direction.

A miserable job sucks ass. A terrible boss sucks ass. And don't kid yourself. That piece of shit will sell your ass out way before he accepts responsability for his terrible decisions. The only thing you can do is be extremely good at what you do.

I'll let you know how well this works out for me in 3 weeks as an AC first post.

Unemployed != happy

[Mr2cents]

I have been unemployed for more than a year some while ago, and I've never felt more miserable and useless than during that time. I guess it depends on your personality to some extent, but I don't know that many people who are proud of their unemployed status. So I don't think you will be better off at home. In fact you can choose between having money + being unhappy or being poor + being unhappy. Nothing forbids you to send your C.V. to other companies closer to home in the meanwhile, though.

Good luck.

Re:Unemployed != happy

[Scoth]

I think this point can't be stressed enough. I was layed off from a job I was miserable at some years ago, and for the first month or two I was in the "excited" mode. Then my savings started looking a bit thin and every day I was unemployed was another reminder of unjobbiness. My parents bought me groceries a couple times (which I appreciated, but didn't make me feel much better about myself) but they weren't really in a financial position to do much. So, the next couple months after that were far worse than anything I'd ever felt at the job. I'm just glad I'd socked away enough money to make it fine, instead of a lot of my coworkers caught in the same layoffs who had spent everything they had on laptops, cars, etc.

The upshot of all that is, when you're unhappy at a job, the freedom of unemployment can be very appealing. But unless you've really set up your life and finances to be prepared for it, it can end up far worse than the job.

(btw, I ended up getting a job making about 33% more than I was, on the absolute last day possible to make my bills. I finished out the month after my first paycheck with about 50 cents in the bank account.)

Move

[stinerman]

Go back to where you will be happy.

I'm just about done with my degree and I'm heading home as soon as school gets out. My situation is like yours although I'm leaving the "big city" (Dayton, OH) to go back to my country roots (Willard, OH -- pop. 7000).

Re:In the city?

[dave1g]

I live in Texas but I have come to know that everyone in the northeast refers to NYC simply as "the city"

No handouts

[Usquebaugh]

If you can be un-employed on your own dime, then fine.

But if you need the parents then it's a no-no, even if they want you back. You are now an adult, look the word up.

Also, if you leave a job you usually aren't eligible for unemployment only welfare. I wouldn't give you welfare if you left a reasonable gig.

In short, stop whining and suck it up. You ain't happy, big deal.

Re:No handouts

[MahGu]

After six solid months leave. Don't worry about the money. Look for two jobs every day, first a career replacement and then a "joe" job just in case.I went to grad school in upstate NY and the job market was awful. It is as easy to pack up and move to somewhere new as it is to watch your resources dwindle away in an area with a poor job market while you fruitlessly search. Since you are posting to Slashdot I assume you are some sort of "techy" and would recommend Boston. It is just as tough to find a career track job here as anywhere else but there is contract work and short term assignments (MIT, Harvard,Biotech,...) and there is a life to live outside of work. You might have to get roomates and go back to living like a student but from your post you seem young enough to handle it. A job is a contract between equal parties. If it does not work for you exercise your option to leave. Don't voice your unhappiness at work however, just give them the old " this is a great opportunity but I need to be near my family" and split.
Good Luck!

Re:No handouts

[Anonymous Coward]

"In short, stop whining and suck it up. You ain't happy, big deal."

How can you be so cold about it? Lots of people seem to hold this view, that this is how it is so we're all supposed to just roll over and take it. I don't understand how anyone can be ok with this. Why does anyone bother to live at all if all there is to life is an endless string of shitty soul-crushing jobs?

Re:No handouts

[Usquebaugh]

It's not being cold. It's being truthful. If you have not made yourself independent of a paycheck then you need to suck it up period. Sponging off others is not defensible in any society.

I'm not able to quit work full time but I could last three years easy with no income. Being independent of next months pay check means I can choose whether I stay or go at work. Also my company has zero leverage over me. They can fire me and that's about it. It also means when my boss wants me to work late he has to ask and I have to consent. My choice not his. The bast part is if I want unpaid vacation for an extended period, say three months in the Caribbean, I simply inform my boss that I'm going and if he wants I can return in three months. Of course I do not expect to be paid but I have been able to do this about once every three years.

The point is everybody is where they are in life based on the decisions they made. Sure we'd all like to be multi millionaires but most of us will never get asked that question. We can all however decide not to live at the peak of our earnings but rather 75 or 50 percent and save the rest. If you save 25% of your first year earnings you can last 3 months without work. After two years you should be about 6 months etc.

It's all very simple do not incur debt at any cost and you will be free to live as you please within your earning potential. If you have a mortgage, car loan or credit then you are not free until you dispense with those debts. If you have children then make damn sure you can afford them, birth rate is capped by the number of children you can afford to feed and clothe.

Now if the populous lived like this how long do you think the US government would be allowed to live on credit. Check who controls the US debt and then you'll understand why certain countries have preferential treatment.

A merkin booty

[Dogtanian]

Interview to be a burger flipper at McDonalds Quit his corporate job he's unhappy with to work at a fast food joint? I'm getting deja-vu here. Whilst lusting after your teenage daughter's friend and smoking marajuana? Oh, and BTW watch out for your neighbour; he may get the wrong end of the stick regarding your friendship with his son.

Re:A merkin booty

[Anonymous Coward]

Hint: For the intelligence-impaired moderators; above is a reference to a popular film. Can you guess which one? It's in the title.

Work Unhappy

[Anonymous Coward]

There is no job that is fun. Why would employers pay people to work if it was fun and made people happy?

The people that tell you to "do what you love" and that you must be happy in your work are full of shit. Never depend on work for happiness. What makes you happy in life must be at home or outdoors and on your own time. Not work. Depending on work for happiness is just looking for trouble. (Trust me I know). It took me a long time to learn this lesson, I can save you the trouble.

Work is a way to get money, an artificially necessary evil in this world, nothing more. It is 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week that you can pretty much ignore and forget as long as the paychecks keep coming in.

All this touchy feely crap about "love what you do" and expecting work to make you happy in your life is for indoctrinated HR people (they need to believe that) and kept women, not for people in the real world.

Now, in your case it sounds like you simply do not like the neighborhood you live in and the job is fine, in which case move and take the bus to work so you can keep your contractual obligations. Because the most important thing in life is peace of mind where you live. (I learned this the hard way too) One must have peace at home or insanity will soon result.

Re:Work Unhappy

[Anonymous Coward]

I feel sorry for you.

You assume that people like me don't exist.

I enjoy my work. Yes there's tasks that I get assigned that I don't enjoy, but the vast majority of what I do is fun. Multiple times I'll look up and realize that I've put in a 12+ hour day without meaning to; that the time just flew by. I've used less than half my vacation. Why? Because I don't often feel the desire to take one.

I've had other jobs where after 3-6 months I dreaded waking up because I'd have to go to work. Where I'd use every opportunity to take a day off that I could. It sounds like that's the only kind of job you've had. That's rough.

I gambled when I was on the 3rd year of my chemical engineering degree, and switched to comp sci engineering in the middle of a major downturn in the market. I got lucky and got a good paying job when I graduated. If I hadn't gotten lucky, then I'd be working somewhere else for a lot less than I make now... and I'd still be happy. But then making lots of money wasn't ever one of my goals. If it was I'd have stayed a chemical engineering major and be making at least 50% more than I do now.

Re:Work Unhappy

[Guntram Shatterhand,]

That's very true. When I finally got some computer jobs under my belt to escape from retail, the quality of my jobs got better. Sure, I wasn't completely happy, but for a while there I was doing better than I have ever been. While not relying on your job for complete happiness is a very good piece of advice, you can find a job that you like doing and get some satisfaction out of it. In fact, if more people did that, the world might be a better place. Plus, most of the time if you go into a field for the money, you'll find out that the money doesn't really make up for the pain and grief you go through: I can share stories about people who jumped into Computer Science and made it big at WorldCom before it went under and Nursing students who eventually got sick of dealing with changing bedpans. Do what you love, people. Money is important, but it truly isn't everything in life.

Re:In the city?

[WgT2]

What is the matter with you people? He told you in the first sentence:

I grew up around a big city (suburbs of NY)

If he had said LA would you have presumed that he was calling the state of Louisiana a city?

Do what everyone else does...

[Sodade]

Lie on your resume. The easiest way for you to do this is to make up a small consulting firm that you worked for and gee - what do you know, they are outta business now.

Re:Do what everyone else does...

[mikael]

Unless of course, the employer uses a CV/resume verification service. This seems to be more of a UK thing.

Priority

[nuggz]

Well I have priorities.

1 Eat. (and other necessities)
2 Be happy.
3 lots of money.

Once I can take care of the basics I worry about being happy.
Next priority is to make sure I'm happy with my general situation.
After that I go for more experience and money and stuff.

Long term unhappiness is a drag on your health, and is very expensive. When I'm bummed out I spend lots more on stuff, when I'm happy I can get by on less.

Translation:

[Gothmolly]

I'm a rich kid from NYC who went to a swanky upstate school, and throughout my whole life, my parents and teachers said that I was special and could do anything I wanted. Now, my boss doesn't think that, and it makes me cry. What do I do now? Do you people really work for a living for 50 years?

Re:Translation:

[Anonymous Coward]

Swanky? Binghamton? SUNY schools are nice, but swanky??

Troll.

I have a similar background

[Kevin Stevens]

We have similar backgrounds, I grew up on LI, went to a state school upstate, I worked up there briefly and then went back to LI and worked in the city (and have continued to do so ever since).

You don't say why specifically you are unhappy being upstate- Is it because you miss your friends/family? You find the area too small and boring? You find everyone around you to be too close minded and conservative? etc... The reason why I mention this, is because you may be surprised that NYC is no cakewalk either. You probably make a very comfortable living, and in a year or two could buy a modest house. That nice salary you landed in the city suddenly doesn't seem so great when you have to pay city tax, pay $6+ for lunch each day, pay obscene amounts for rent (or $400+/month to commute), and just about everything else. Living in a city also has the unique way of making you very lonely when there are millions of people around you every day and you don't really know anyone. It makes it 2x worse.

That said, my advice would be to take whatever they are giving you, but don't extend your contract. Keep looking. the market is hot right now, but it usually takes a few months to find a job, especially if you are far away. Since you are only a year out, you can probably still get into the new summer hire programs many companies offer, some of which may not start until September or even later. July is not that far off.

Stay (for now) while you look.

[(H)elix1]

Few things make you as appealing as *having* a job while you are looking for one. As a hiring manager, I know I prefer to take someone who is currently working than someone who is unemployed. I'll ask about the gap. (I also don't attach a stigma to layoffs - those happen often at the business unit level) I'll also consider it a warning flag if you 'quit' your job without having another lined up. To me, something really ugly happened... Not quiting should give you a better starting salary at the next gig.

You are darn close to a year. A job hunt can take a couple months so at this point it will more or less be a year. Odds are you will pay a bit more attention to location, job, and some of those non-tangibles. As you shift your energies into finding another job, it will also probably take your current employer more than a few months to dispose of you! If you are going, *do NOT* tell anyone you work with that you are hunting. Play nice with your coworkers and boss while you look.

Re:Stay (for now) while you look.

[josepha48]

I'd agree. While it may be harder to interview for a new job, he is better off. I've often thought that if people quit a job without having a new job, then they will have no problem quiting each time they do not like thier job.

So yes, it is better to be miserable with money than to be unemployed(IMHO). Besides, the posters parents already turned his bedroom into an office (LOL).

One question I've always gotten in an interview is, "what have you been doing recenetly?" Being unemployeed, because you just quit, does not look attractive. Good excuses for being unemployed are: 1) you were laid off because they outsourced your department; 2) the company was shutting down operations and laid off / fired everyone; or 3) you were fired because you would not do something that was unethical / immoral to please you supervisor.

Being miserable at a job, is not something that employers want to hear. They will often wonder if there is something wrong with you. Also they may see you quitting your last job because you were miserable as sign that if you are not 100% happy with your job that you will leave them also.

Hey have you seen office space? How about Joe vs the volcano? Watch those 2 movies if you have not. Not only are they funny but they give some perspective to work in an office. No really! Also read dilbert, because so often he nails office life.

Re:In the city?

[hb253]

Not exactly.

Everyone who lives in the NY metropolitan area calls it "the city".

What a bitch!

[Anonymous Coward]

You can't even tough it out for a year? Go cry to mommy, boy!

Re:In the city?

[heinousjay]

Manhattan is small? NYC is only Manhattan? And I'm the fucktard?

Something's not right here.

Complete the mandatory year

[91degrees]

Just go in. Work your hours. Do an adequate job. Go home. Make the time not at work as enjoyable as possible. And abuse the company resources looking for another job in the meantime.

Get fired or promoted for doing the right thing

[ddt]

If you don't like the location, then stop being there. Keep working at your job, and simply move elsewhere and do your work remotely. If you need to hire someone to cover for bits that you do there, then hire someone. If you can't use their money to do it, then use your money to do it and just take home the difference in pay and look for other work to supplement it.

Don't stop pushing and fixing until you're either fired or promoted. Don't do this in-between grind that wears you down. You're going to go out with a whimper, won't take any usable references with you, and the whole thing will have been a waste of a chunk of your precious 20's.

If you're fired for doing the right thing, then you'll have an excellent story for why you were fired. "I wasn't happy there because it's freaking Albany, so I moved, worked remotely, got happier, did much better work, hired someone with my own money when they refused to. Tried to lead that horse to water, but couldn't make it drink."

The very same reasons that get you fired are quite often the reasons that get you promoted, too. Taking risks like that, forcing a company to change against its wishes always has political fallout, but when it results in superior results, sometimes someone clueful at the helm is watching and rewards the behavior. But if it doesn't happen, don't sweat it. Company's fortunes are mostly affected by their top management, and if your good work isn't being recognized, that means other good work probably also isn't getting recognized. The company will probably fail. Keep the names and numbers of the guys you really liked, and when you find your new job, invite them to come with you. You're going to find this is the much stronger way to build a network of good people you keep close to you and a successful career.

Don't leave your job without another one waiting

[pizza_milkshake]

In my experience it is fine to not be satisfied with your current work and be actively seeking another; but it is a mistake to leave a job without something else waiting for you.

Re:In the city?

[dave1g]

if you consider the entire states of NY, Pennsylvania, and NJ, the metro area then yes I will concede your point. And I'm not only referring to the parts of those states that are extremely close. I'm talking south jersey.

Lets Examine This.....

[flyneye]

Being out of familiar water creates stress that obscures the opportunities to be happy.
NY being the familiar water you thrive in,understand,others thrive elsewhere just fine.
It is therefore possible,once you realize adaptation is the key,to be happy most places.
When you can look forward to the challenges each day brings rather than the lack of convenience,you will find new comforts and conveniences not afforded by dreary,backward,autistic NY.
          For instance,while the cost of living is high in NY and a certain wage is necessary for survival,elsewhere,you can live like a king on half that.You will find that while people may speak more slowly elsewhere,you can understand their communication in half the time and they tend to be less tense and uptight.This is important for creativity and flow,you will observe this as you give it time.
          For NYers,NY is the center of civilization and the rest of the world follows suit.For the rest of the world,NY is an attraction at the freak show and worthy of comedy,since living there requires certain mindset and customs not dragging the rest of the world down.
        Bravely go forth into the world and for Gods sake don't let yourself use the following phrases in sentences;"Back in New York...." "Where I come from...","I always..." because you come from earth not NY and you are adapting to living on the earth instead of a randomly run circus with its exclusive acts and proprietary customs.
          Time,is all you need,to adapt,find enjoyment and rechallenge your abilities.(With no challenge,there is no growth,if you are not growing,you are dying.Simple and true,irrefutable.

CLAWS: Creating Livable Alternatives to Wage Slave

[Paul Fernhout]

The deeper issue:
    http://www.whywork.org/
    "We actively promote alternatives to the wage slavery mindset and what we call "The Cult of the Job" which automatically equates having a job with making a living."

And from an essay there by Bob Black:
    http://www.whywork.org/rethinking/whywork/abolitio n.html
"Liberals say we should end employment discrimination. I say we should end employment. Conservatives support right-to-work laws. Following Karl Marx's wayward son-in-law Paul Lafargue, I support the right to be lazy. Leftists favor full employment. Like the surrealists -- except that I'm not kidding -- I favor full unemployment. Trotskyists agitate for permanent revolution. I agitate for permanent revelry. But if all the ideologues (as they do) advocate work -- and not only because they plan to make other people do theirs -- they are strangely reluctant to say so. They will carry on endlessly about wages, hours, working conditions, exploitation, productivity, profitability. They'll gladly talk about anything but work itself. These experts who offer to do our thinking for us rarely share their conclusions about work, for all its saliency in the lives of all of us. Among themselves they quibble over the details. Unions and management agree that we ought to sell the time of our lives in exchange for survival, although they haggle over the price. Marxists think we should be bossed by bureaucrats. Libertarians think we should be bossed by businessmen. Feminists don't care which form bossing takes, so long as the bosses are women. Clearly these ideology-mongers have serious differences over how to divvy up the spoils of power. Just as clearly, none of them have any objection to power as such and all of them want to keep us working."

And further:

"Work makes a mockery of freedom. The official line is that we all have rights and live in a democracy. Other unfortunates who aren't free like we are have to live in police states. These victims obey orders or else, no matter how arbitrary. The authorities keep them under regular surveillance. State bureaucrats control even the smaller details of everyday life. The officials who push them around are answerable only to higher-ups, public or private. Either way, dissent and disobedience are punished. Informers report regularly to the authorities. All this is supposed to be a very bad thing. ... And so it is, although it is nothing but a description of the modern workplace. The liberals and conservatives and Libertarians who lament totalitarianism are phonies and hypocrites. There is more freedom in any moderately de-Stalinized dictatorship than there is in the ordinary American workplace. You find the same sort of hierarchy and discipline in an office or factory as you do in a prison or a monastery. In fact, as Foucault and others have shown, prisons and factories came in at about the same time, and their operators consciously borrowed from each other's control techniques. A worker is a part-time slave. The boss says when to show up, when to leave, and what to do in the meantime. He tells you how much work to do and how fast. He is free to carry his control to humiliating extremes, regulating, if he feels like it, the clothes you wear or how often you go to the bathroom. With a few exceptions he can fire you for any reason, or no reason. He has you spied on by snitches and supervisors, he amasses a dossier on every employee. Talking back is called "insubordination," just as if a worker is a naughty child, and it not only gets you fired, it disqualifies you for unemployment compensation. Without necessarily endorsing it for them either, it is noteworthy that children at home and in school receive much the same treatment, justified in their case by their supposed immaturity. What does this say about their parents and teachers who work? "

choose life

[elh_inny]

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars,
compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good
health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed
interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your
friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a
three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing
game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose
rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable
home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up
brats you spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life.

Re:choose life

[Anonymous Coward]

But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

Re:choose life

[jrockway]

Good plagiarism.

Choose to shut the fuck up. Choose to be modded down. Please choose to kill yourself.

Re:choose life

[Anonymous Coward]

Choose to sit infront of a computer and share your dated movie knowledge with a bunch of people reading the views of other opinionated geeks...

Why not...

[gillbates]

Why not work toward happiness?

If you aren't happy with where you're at, at least figure out where you'd be most happy working. Talk to people - new people. Give yourself a year to figure out where you want to be in 10 or 20 years from now, and work out a plan to get there.

But just dropping employment probably won't be a good idea. It may very well limit your employment options later on. Besides, not having money will depress you anyway. And even if you aren't happy with your current job, it might be alright if you know you're working toward something better. The trick is finding that better thing.

Re:In the city?

[drsquare]

The way he phrased it suggested that the city he was in was itself a suburb of New York.

Re:In the city?

[WgT2]

The way he phrased it suggested that the city he was in was itself a suburb of New York.

Let's do a little contextual reading:

I grew up around a big city (suburbs of NY)...

When he mentions 'a big city' in this opening clause of the first sentence, he clarifies which city he's referring to in '()' (which was New York). He didn't clarify which suburb because he never mentions wanting to come back to a suburb. Otherwise he shouldn't have said:

...back in the city.

but, instead, said:

...back in the suburb.

Contextually, he was very clear.

Re:In the city?

[drsquare]

If he meant that the city was New York, he'd have said 'I grew up in the suburbs of New York'.

Re:In the city?

[WgT2]

Are you also confused that "a big city" and 'NY' might refer to Tokyo? If not, what else do you think this would mean:

I grew up around a big city (suburbs of NY)...

Are you thinking that he was saying that he grew up in the suburbs of the state of New York?

Please go look up the meaning of suburb (here's a hint: I just gave you the link to it. While your at it, find the word 'state' on that page.)

Contextually: you fail. Someone should send a note home to your mother.

shouldn't have to be a chore

[nurb432]

ummm thats why its called work. it IS a chore.

Get all your checkups now

[Anonymous Coward]

Go to the doctor, optomitrist, dentist and get things taken care of while you have healthcare, i quit a job before doing all that and regretted the bills later on without healthcare :/

Put the job search in warp for the next 2 weeks

[Anonymous Coward]

...then quit regardless of what happens.

Get the bosses promises of a waiver of relocation in writing. Do it craftily - just get him to agree to it in an email and save the email.

Be happy.

BTW - NEVER WORK FOR SIERRA NEVADA CORPORATION.

You already know the answer

[Sobrique]

You already know the answer to this question, otherwise you wouldn't have asked it.

There is _NO_ amount of compensation that makes it worth doing a job you don't like doing.

Find something you like and want to do first and foremost. If you do like doing it, then it's pretty likely that you'll end up progressing rapidly and easily - as an enthusiast, you'll learn and grow quickly into the scope of role you're looking for.

Yes, it's true that some areas aren't as well paid as others, but at the end of the day, you're working for 'quality of life'. The trade off of doing a job where you bounce out of bed in the morning, looking forward to going into work is impossible to truly appreciate until you've done it.

Only a year?

[Avatar8]

Am I the only one picking out the "just graduated last May" part?

IMO you don't have enough experience in any workplace to know what a miserable job really can be. Try working for a company for three years, then being outsourced as if you're a piece of property then shipped around the country away from your family as you're being told "we may have to let you go after this contract."

Stick the year out to fulfill the contract and get what you can out of it.

Keep looking for jobs where you want to live. (a few interviews? That's nothing. Try a few dozen before you feel you're getting nowhere.) Use as many sources for jobs as possible (multiple recruiters, careerbuilder, monster, dice, computerjobs, local job websites) When I've been unemployed I send out about 40 resumes a day and make about 10 phone calls. When I'm employed but unhappy with my work, I send out about 20 resumes a week from job board search agents.

Just keep looking. Broaden your expectations. There are tons of jobs out there; you just have to find them. It's definitely much easier to find a new job while you have one.

Additional information

[dunnowhat2type]

If this can help people form a better opinion, I am in the Binghamton area, which is pretty much devoid of engineering jobs aside from Lockheed and BAE (I am working for the former.) It is also the area I went to college in, and I just feel like I am back in college again, which is not a pleasant feeling. When I say I want to move home, I am referring to the area, not the house I grew up in. Though I would be moving back in with my parents, that does not really have a big impact on the way I live my life, and it would not be a necessarily permanent thing. With going to graduate school and working, however, it might just be easier to live at home and save money for the time being. Nothing has been concretely decided, but I am going to keep my job until the one year, then move on with or without a new job lined up. If I find something sooner, then I will move on sooner.

Try something new outside of work

[techstar25]

It sounds to me like you need to try to separate your home life from your work life, and try to make your home life more fun. If you have money, then try to find a new hobby, and meet people with those same interests. For instance learn to ride a motorcycle, or buy a boat or jet-ski. Join a basketball league or flag football. Just do something, anything to get your mind off work when you are at home. If you can't be happy outside of work, then maybe you should investigate your "employee assistance" benefits because maybe you should talk to a professional...I'm serious.

Get it in writing....

[humblecoder]

Is the offer from your manager an official agreement in writing? Or is it along the lines of "hey if you quit now, I'll see what I can do for you..." From the way the original poster described it, it sounded more like the latter. Call me a cynic, but I would seriously doubt that your manager is going to try very hard to waive the relocation clause.

I know you say it sucks there and all (I've lived in upstate NY state so I know all about it!), but it is MUCH easier to find another job when you already have one. I know from experience since I have tried to look for a job both when I've had a job and when I have been unemployed. When you have don't have a job, prospective employers are more likely to screw you over, because they know you are in a desperate situation. And even if they don't hold it against you, you might take a job you might normally wouldn't out of desperation.

The worst job I ever took was one that I found during a bout of unemployment. Even though the job was terrible, I stayed there while I searched for a better job. I certainly did not regret that decision in the least...