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Dvorak to Apple - Stop The iPhone

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the wave-off-wave-off dept.

eldavojohn writes "John Dvorak is advising Apple to cease all efforts on the iPhone, citing the mobile handset business as a 'buzz saw waiting to chop up newbies.' With Apple's image as a 'hot company that can do no wrong' on the line, Dvorak warns that the extremely fad-prone marketplace for cell phones will quickly turn the 'hot' iPhone passe'. Unless the company has several new models in the pipeline to release after the original offering, he says, they're likely to fail. 'If it's smart it will call the iPhone a "reference design" and pass it to some suckers to build with someone else's marketing budget. Then it can wash its hands of any marketplace failures.'"

20 of 409 comments (clear)

  1. Slashdot to Dvorak: Stop the Apple Trolling! by AKAImBatman · · Score: 5, Informative

    Seriously, there's nothing to see here. Move along. Dvorak has known for decades that Apple users are protective of the Apple name and products. So he regularly goes about trying to get those users worked up. He even admits it here! Rather than giving him the satisfaction of getting you worked up again, why don't you try ignoring him for a change?

    --
    Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
    1. Re:Slashdot to Dvorak: Stop the Apple Trolling! by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ask not for whom he trolls, he trolls for thee.

      --
      No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
    2. Re:Slashdot to Dvorak: Stop the Apple Trolling! by iPaul · · Score: 5, Funny

      Before commenting I always read the story or stories indicated. However, in this case I realized my mistake as soon as I clicked the link. I gave that bofoon one more hit to drive his hit count up. Maybe I'll start posting articles on my blog like:

      Microsoft - Should get out of the operating systems business and start a chain of chicken finger restaurants.
      Oracle - Relational databases are just a fad, they should diversify into concrete.
      Apple - Should just liquidate the company and payout the sharholders (oops - Michael Dell beat me to that one).
      Hooters - Is there a Hooters O/S in the works? It should be built on BSD with a Linux Kernel, .NET GUI and Open GL based file-system.
      Linux - Who would ever use a non-Unix Unix clone? It'll never make it in the server market. Trovalds should build an aquarium.
      Google - Who needs search? I already have everything worth reading bookmarked.
      Gartner - They're always soo right about the future, they should publish lottery numbers.
      Amazon - No one will ever get that Amazon sells books, they should sell snakes, large bugs and other things found in the actual Amazon.
      NASA - Should use string cheese to build the world's first space elevator.
      Doctors - From now on they should only operate on the healthy, where survival is much more likely.
      Viagra - Should exclusively market itself on the Internet using spam.

      and finally!!!

      Slashdot - Nerds don't care about news. I bet they don't get any postings or hits.

      This way I can drive my advertising revenue up and get quoted a lot, even if I'm bizarrly and outrageously mistaken.

      --
      Leave the gun, take the cannoli -- Clemenza, The Godfather
    3. Re:Slashdot to Dvorak: Stop the Apple Trolling! by Dogtanian · · Score: 5, Informative

      Microsoft - Should get out of the operating systems business and start a chain of chicken finger restaurants. Get real. That is one HELL of a stupid suggestion.

      Chickens don't have fingers.
      --
      "Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
    4. Re:Slashdot to Dvorak: Stop the Apple Trolling! by Aqua+OS+X · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I bring this up every time someone posts some Dvorak drivel, that said...

      Why does Slashdot actually post an article that is classified to the "wave-off-wave-off" department? We all know people are going to think Dvorak is ridiculous flame bate, and we all know most of us aren't going to bother reading his garbage. What's the point of rewarding Dvorak with web traffic from Slashdot?

      Dvorak's predictions about the tech industry, and especially Apple, are about as accurate as Dick Cheney's predictions about the war in Iraq.

      Write a Dvorak filter, put a post-it note on your monitor, do something. By linking to his work you're indirectly paying him to be a tool.

      Christ, if you're going to post John Dvorak articles, you might as well start posting V1AgRA spam that you get in your email.

      --
      "Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
    5. Re:Slashdot to Dvorak: Stop the Apple Trolling! by hiroller · · Score: 5, Funny

      Are you kidding me? I absolutely love his keyboard layouts! I use it anytime I find a co-worker that has left his station unlocked! http://www.microsoft.com/enable/training/windowsxp /keyboardlayout.aspx ;)

    6. Re:Slashdot to Dvorak: Stop the Apple Trolling! by HTTP+Error+403+403.9 · · Score: 5, Funny

      I get the impression that 25 years ago, Steve Jobs stole Dvorak's chick.

      --
      I'm not a Troll, it's reverse psychology.
  2. Dvorak Economic Model by freerangegeek · · Score: 5, Insightful

    1) Say something braindead and contrarian about Apple
    2) Get it posted on slashdot to flame contreversy
    3) Get eyeballs on published work
    4) Profit

    1. Re:Dvorak Economic Model by Imagix · · Score: 5, Funny

      Doesn't that depend on a Slashdot reader to RTFA ?

  3. Thank God for John C. Dvorak by JoeWalsh · · Score: 5, Funny

    Without John, how would I know what's not going to happen in the future?

  4. More advice for Apple by Dasher42 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Also consider dropping OSX. We're all using OS/2 now.

  5. Zonk Strikes Again! by astrosmash · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Who else would post a Dvorak troll to the front page? What a waste.

    --
    ENDUT! HOCH HECH!
  6. Readers to Editors: Stop Posting Dvorak Articles! by skeevy · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Unless Slashot is adopting the Dvorak page-hit-generation-model by posting intentionally inflammatory references to intentionally inflammatory articles.

  7. The credentials speak for themselves by Wuhao · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's a good thing Dvorak is an intelligent, experienced businessman who has himself run a highly successful, multi-billion dollar company similar to Apple, and not just some blabbering wash-up with a column.

  8. Wow, this man is so brilliant by joto · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can't understand why Apple haven't hired him yet. I mean, does there exist anyone that can beat his predictions, except perhaps Nostradamus?

    Had the major companies listened to everything Dvorak says, they would have been rich by now!

  9. Re:Apple just markets products. by AKAImBatman · · Score: 5, Funny

    They haven't made a product since the original mac 20 years ago. They just re-brand stuff from Taiwan and add a "cool factor" that some people pay a premium for.

    Why, John! I didn't know you posted on Slashdot!

    Suddenly it all makes sense. All the trolls, the bad arguments, the poor attempts at putting Apple down. It was you the whole time, wasn't it? Oh John, you're such a kidder!
    --
    Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
  10. Calling your bluff by michaelmalak · · Score: 5, Informative
    Here is a photo of the Apple store in Baku, Azerbaijan.

    According to this blog, Azerbaijan is actually a good place to get an iPod, compared to the surrounding countries.

  11. Re:Well if Dvorak doesn't like it... by Viper+Daimao · · Score: 5, Funny

    The man is a giant windbag of nerd conspiracy theories and technical misunderstanding. Why do the slashdot eds. slurp up all of his moonshot predictions? See the previous sentence.
    --
    "In the game of life, someone always has to lose. To me, if life were fair, that someone would always be Oklahoma." -DKR
  12. Re:Well if Dvorak doesn't like it... by Bastard+of+Subhumani · · Score: 5, Funny

    I quite like his New World Symphony. On the other hand, I never really got on with his keyboard. Overall, I'd say I'm neutral.

    --
    Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
  13. Re:Well if Dvorak doesn't like it... by Ortega-Starfire · · Score: 5, Insightful
    He's wrong on occasion - but that doesn't mean he's ALWAYS wrong.

    Even a broken clock gives the correct time twice a day, right? Dvorak is about as accurate as that.

    Now that Dvorak has condemned it, I shall now buy stock in Apple, for this is now a sure thing.

    --
    ---- Liquid was a patriot ----