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How Microsoft Can Make Zune a Success

Posted by Zonk on from the long-time-in-coming dept.

jcatcw writes "Zune had potential, but 5 months in it barely gets passing grades. According to the article, there are five things Microsoft must change: 1) The built-in Wi-Fi, aka 'the social,' was a bad idea. 2) Tell newbies what it can do. 3) Create a low-end, flash-based player. 4) Push subscriptions. 5) Make it sexy. A Microsoft representative said, about the wireless concept: 'We felt we were addressing the social aspect of music, and the research we've done has shown that people understand the concept that wireless enables sharing ... but the tagline, while provocative, hasn't meant a lot to consumers.'"

21 of 305 comments (clear)

  1. Here's an idea by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 4, Funny

    Make them out of gold and give them away.

    --
    No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
    1. Re:Here's an idea by eclectro · · Score: 4, Funny

      They might become popular with the kids if they really squirted.

      --
      Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
  2. Missing Steps by Cornflake917 · · Score: 5, Funny

    6) ???
    7) Profit

    --
    Abaddon: An Xbox 360 Indie game
  3. A success? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, if you go read the Dvorak article below this one, a device's success is inversely proportional to that douchebag's opinion of the device and it's future.

    So get him to hate it and you'll be all set.

    1. Re:A success? by virgil_disgr4ce · · Score: 2, Funny

      Is there already a "Dvorak Law?" Because I think you've just invented it. Here it comes, Wikipedia...

      --
      Limina.Log
  4. Zune? by BandwidthHog · · Score: 5, Funny

    They still make those?

    --

    Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
  5. Reversed Stories? by Constantine+XVI · · Score: 3, Funny

    I just saw this story: "How Microsoft can make the Zune a Success"
    And right below it: "Dvorak to Apple: Stop the iPhone"
    Logically, you would need to s/Microsoft/Apple, s/Zune/iPhone, s/Apple/Microsoft, s/iPhone/Zune to have proper Slashdot-conforming headlines

    --
    "I think an etch-a-sketch with an ethernet port would beat IE7 in web standards compliance."
    1. Re:Reversed Stories? by paladin225 · · Score: 2, Funny

      But then you'd have this:
      "How Microsoft can make the Zune a Success"
      "Dvorak to Microsoft: Stop the Zune"

      What would Slashdot think of that?

  6. SWAG by nearlygod · · Score: 3, Funny

    Give it away for free? That may increase their market penetration... maybe. Perhaps pre-load it with porn? nearlygod

    --
    The Tools Of Ignorance wanna be a tool?
  7. Re:How Microsoft can made Zune a non-success: by masdog · · Score: 2, Funny

    It worked for Microsoft once...so how much could it hurt to try that again?

    --
    My Sysadmin Blog
  8. Re:Why ... by Red+Flayer · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'd love to know what is can do. Tell me more?!

    It depends on what your definition of 'is' is.
    --WJC
    --
    "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
  9. Missing part of post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I have a Zune and a 4G color iPod. My iPod sits in the dock on the clock radio we have for it. The Zune is what I take everywhere with me."

    And if I ever touch the iPod again, my dad said he'd throw another chair at me.

  10. Tell newbies what IS can do by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Tell newbies what IS can do"

    What "is" can do?!?

    I'm still trying to figure out what the MEANING of "is" is!

    --
    "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
    Never been known to fail..."
  11. Re:Do like they do with everything else... by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can't really think of many things that they actually created from scratch.
    I dare you to name five.
    1. Clippy
    2. Windows ME
    3. The BSOD
    4. Microsoft Bob
    5. The Three-Finger Salute


    Is there a prize?
    --
    No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
  12. Re:Wifi by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Wifi works under lunix now?!

  13. Easy as ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I can't really think of many things that they actually created from scratch. I dare you to name five.

    Surely you jest. Here are five examples of innovation in the purest forms imaginable:

    1. Strategy
    2. User-friendliness
    3. Simplicity
    4. The Future
    5. Entertainment

  14. Not a success? by Lord51N15T3R · · Score: 1, Funny
    Not a success? You are forgetting that Microsoft has 100% of the market in turd-brown mp3 players!

    I got to go take a Zune.

  15. I will take that dare by walterbyrd · · Score: 4, Funny

    Five things msft invented:

    1) Lying to the US-DoJ with video-taped testomony - and getting away with it.

    2) Astroturf campaign which included letters from dead people - and getting away with it.

    3) Hiring dying micro-cap companies to file bogus lawsuits, and make outragous claims against the competition - and getting away with it.

    4) Creating fake think-tanks that insist the msft is always right, and any action against msft would be anti-capitialist - and getting away with it.

    5) Secretly funded, rigged, benchmark and TCO "studies" - and getting away with it.

  16. Re:Do like they do with everything else... by binarybum · · Score: 3, Funny

    did not know that. always thought it was a cheap imitation of dog crap.

    --
    ôó
  17. 5) Make it sexy by flacco · · Score: 3, Funny

    microsoft couldn't make a sexy product if they stuck a fuckable vagina on it.

    --
    pr0n - keeping monitor glass spotless since 1981.
  18. Hire Steve Jobs? by exp(pi*sqrt(163)) · · Score: 3, Funny

    Comment intentionally left blank.

    --
    Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.