Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Gates to join Simonyi in Space?

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the gain-some-perspective dept.

gadgetopia writes "On Russian state television, cosmonaut Fyodor Yurchikhin tells journalists in a live video interview from the ISS that "Charles said that Bill Gates is also preparing to visit space"." Gotta wonder what that insurance premium is going to look like.

37 of 208 comments (clear)

  1. Where to donate... by nschubach · · Score: 5, Funny

    Where can we donate to the "Leave Bill on the Moon" cause?

    --
    Every time I start to have faith in humanity, I ruin it by driving to work between 7 and 8 am.
    1. Re:Where to donate... by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 4, Funny

      Send $20 via PayPal to morgan_greywolf (at) yahoo (dot) com

      --
      My blog
    2. Re:Where to donate... by nschubach · · Score: 5, Funny

      Putting more thought into it....

      I think it would be even better to put all that money into a new paint job for the shuttle. Cover the shuttle till right before launch. Get Bill strapped in and ready. Setup a monitor inside so he can see the revealing and right before launch, unveil a shuttle painted like a huge Tux.

      --
      Every time I start to have faith in humanity, I ruin it by driving to work between 7 and 8 am.
  2. Missing something by ThePolkapunk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Looks like you're missing an anchor tag there. I highly recommend it. They're great for linking!
     
    Oh wait, this is a story about Bill Gates. Is this a joke about how IE doesn't follow w3 standards for HTML? If so, it's not that funny.

    --
    Dear diary: Today I stuffed some dolls full of dead rats I put in the blender.
  3. Weird by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Charles said that a href="http://www.itwire.com.au/content/view/11258/ 1066/ A really odd thing for Charles to say. How do you pronounce "href", anyway? :)

    On a more serious note, however, the Slashdot editting have reached a new low.
    1. Re:Weird by dpiven · · Score: 2, Funny

      How do you pronounce "href", anyway?

      Imagine Stimpy coughing up a hairball.

  4. Watch Bill sweat... by pandrijeczko · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...as he sits there in his spacesuit in his capsule next to the Russian cosmonaut commander as "Soyuz 12 - Powered by Windows Vista" flashes up on the main control screen just before the primary engine ignition sequence...

    --
    Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
    1. Re:Watch Bill sweat... by pandrijeczko · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yep, "Bill Shits On Departure".

      --
      Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
  5. Yeah, quadruple indirection! by qazsedcft · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Slashdot provides a link to what Fyodor Yurchikhin said about what Charles Simonyi said about what Bill Gates supposedly intends to do.

    1. Re:Yeah, quadruple indirection! by mikelieman · · Score: 4, Funny

      AND it's all about a trip less than 250 miles away, to a toy-space station that doesn't even have any hookers.

      I suggest we put the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce in charge of developing a REAL moonbase.

      --
      Technology -- No Place For Wimps! Grateful Dead and Jerry Garcia Chatroom -- http://www.wemissjerry.org
  6. That sorts him out but one major fault remains - by unity100 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Anyone heard whether Steve Ballmer is thinking of taking the trip too ?

    --
    Read radical news here
  7. Re:d'oh for you... by Combuchan · · Score: 2, Interesting

    5 replies (and i'm sure there will be more) about a stupid typo, and none about the simple typo tag that you can use to notify the editors of the problem...

    Gates in space? Yikes. If he decides to move his fortune and monopoly power from Windows to space travel, I'll never get there in my lifetime! :(

    --
    "[T]he single essential element on which all discoveries will be dependent is human freedom." -- Barry Goldwater
  8. Re:That sorts him out but one major fault remains by pandrijeczko · · Score: 4, Funny

    No. Apparently the mission objectives are a dozen orbits around Ballmer's ego while safely retrieving items of loose furniture in unstable orbits around him.

    --
    Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
  9. Insurance by Antibore · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Why would Gates even have insurance, it's not like he needs one with that wealth.

  10. Great, let's hope he stays there. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Reminds me of an old Ukrainian joke how when Gagarin went into space some guy announced that Russians have gone into space to which the auditory hopefuly asked if all of them and was greatly disapointed to learn that only one.

  11. Mod this up! by aadvancedGIR · · Score: 2, Insightful

    My GP was pretty lame, but this is exactly the kind of joke I would have loved to find.

  12. Lots of jokes, but... by Aladrin · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Joking aside, I wonder exactly what would change should Gates not make it back to the Earth?

    Would his empire fall, or would his second-in-command just jump into his chair and everything continues as usual?

    Would there be a slew of 'secret' things suddenly appear? Would these secrets hurt or help the business? I could see it going either way... Secret projects would probably boost the company as speculation about them flooded the news, but secrets about Gates' personal life would do the opposite, I think.

    I'm pretty sure MS stock would plunge, so not much speculation there.

    Personally, I think we'd be worse off as Gates is sort of held personally accountable for everything Microsoft does, and I think he has a conscience. But if someone else took his place, there would be less personal influence and it'd be the company rampaging out of control. Short term horror, at least... Long term, it'd tear the company apart and be a blessing. But then, everything dies in the long term.

    --
    "If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you." - DM
    1. Re:Lots of jokes, but... by FredDC · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I don't think the impact would be that big for Microsoft. Sure there will probably be a momentary drop of Microsoft stock value, but that won't last long because Microsoft will ensure investors Bill wasn't really that important to the company. Which is true, a large company like microsoft doesn't depend on just one person, everyone is expendable! Even Bill...

      I'm more worried about what would happen to commercialized space travel if such an event would occur. I think it could set back the entire idea by a hundred years as it would invoke fear into people...

      --
      09 f9 11 02 9d 74 e3 5b d8 41 56 c5 63
    2. Re:Lots of jokes, but... by hey! · · Score: 4, Insightful

      It's already fallen.

      Like Andrew Carnegie, Gates is like a bear who went over the mountain, saw another mountain, and being somewhat smarter than the average bear had a shrewd guess about what he'd find on the other side of that mountain.

      We're in the post-Gates era of Microsoft now. If he wanted to be back in charge, he could be, but he's onto phase II of his career, which is not about Microsoft. There'd be no ego gratification, no fun in maintaining the status quo. So he's on to changing the world. It's not an unheard of late career move for the evil genius who has no Sherlock Holmes against whom he can test his mettle. If Spassky hit his mid career, and found the only people left to challenge him played chess like me, he'd have taken up crochet instead.

      What would you do if you had to be Bill Gates, not for day, but every day for, say, the next forty or fifty years? You'd want to do something pretty damned amazing with your life, not only amazing, but amazing compared to what you did with the first half of your life.

      Now you have Microsoft, which is built around Bill Gates ego, except Bill Gates' ego is on to bigger and better things. They're a ghost of their former selves. Seriously, the old Microsoft would not have been humiliated by a startup whose motto was "do no evil". Google would have been crushed or coopted. Crushed and coopted more likely, in whatever order suited Bill Gates master plan best.

      I think we can expect better things from both Gates and Microsoft in the coming years than we've seen from them yet, but the transition is going to be painful for people who are overinvested in Microsoft. Overinvested in more ways than money.

      So, overall, I think people, even Microsoft haters, ought to be rooting for Gates to make it back to the Earth.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    3. Re:Lots of jokes, but... by hey! · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I don't deny Gates and MS have a mutually beneficial relationship.

      What I'm saying is that MS is in the position that the Armies of Darkness at the end of a cliche high fantasy novel: once welded into a mighty instrument of hellish terror by the diabolical iron will of the Dark Lord, now bereft of that will they have fallen into pitiable disarray.

      Only in this case the Dark Lord hasn't been banished into the nether dimensions, he's just decided that Evil is no fun if the Forces of Light don't but up a decent fight. You have to pour the bulk of your power into a vulnerable MacGuffin or put a direct line to the core reactor where any half assed hero with an ounce of derring do can torpedo it, just to keep things mildly interesting. Then it turns out nobody has the balls to carry the Ring to the Cracks of Doom; it's like getting dressed for the prom and being stood up by your date.

      There's always the old standby of designing the Lair of Evil with a conveniently navigated man sized ventilation system. Sure you can put devilish traps in it or infest it with revolting guardians, but the wise Demiurge knows that when you stoop that low your heart isn't really in the game anymore.

      With respect to how things would have fared if various technologies put up a better fight while Gates was in his prime, I think it would have made no difference. Gates strength as a leader is discernment: separating the things that matter from the things that don't and finding the right place to throw his force against. Utter ruthlessness was just the icing on the cake, the twirl on the villain's mustache. There are plenty of ruthless people in the world. There are plenty of bright people. Ruthless and bright, that's a rare combination.

      Gates is showing that discernment now by going after Malaria. Malaria is the one vexing, persistent problem in the world that can be solved with determination and vision. There is a massive multiplier effect to money well spent, and the elimination of Malaria will in turn have a multiplier effect on many other problems. So finacally, he's found the place that has not a multiplier effect, but an exponentiation effect.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  13. Re:That sorts him out but one major fault remains by Cyberax · · Score: 2

    But just imagine the possibilities! If you throw a chair in the space - it will fly almost eternally (until its orbit decays).

  14. No way. He wont do it. by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 4, Funny

    Gates would go to orbit only if Steve Jobs goes there first. He would not understand why Steve went, but just to be sure he has would not be blind sided like he was with iPod, he would go there.

    --
    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
  15. Re:That sorts him out but one major fault remains by pandrijeczko · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...kept in static geostationary orbit only by the sheer magical power created in chanting repeatedly the word "developers" while performing an ancient ritualistic dance.

    --
    Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
  16. semantics by Ajehals · · Score: 2, Funny

    Gates in space? Is that "SpaceLikeWord95" or "SpaceLikeOnASoyuz"?

  17. Replaced the typo with a typo by Critical+Facilities · · Score: 2, Funny
    From TFS:

    "Charles said that a Bill Gates is also preparing to visit space"."


    I like that it's A Bill Gates. Makes me wonder if it's THE Bill Gates. Maybe this isn't such a big story after all.
  18. Re:d'oh for you... by PFI_Optix · · Score: 5, Funny

    Oh, you'll get there. The question is, will you be able to get back?

    "What do you mean 'a fatal error has occurred'?"

    --
    120 characters for a sig? That's bloody useless.
  19. What happens if Bill's spacesuit leaks... by pandrijeczko · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...and he has to wait three months for a patch to fix it?

    --
    Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
  20. Hmm by palmerj3 · · Score: 2, Funny

    While marketing Windows Vista Super Ultimate Galactic Edition, Bill Gates was accidentally left at the ISS. Provisions are limited however NASA officials claim Gates will be able to live off a steady diet of old ASP.NET books until a rescue crew arrives.

    --
    Jason-Palmer.com
  21. Countdown by Moggyboy · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Houston to Bill, Houston to Bill, do you read Bill?"
    "Loud and clear Houston. Go ahead."
    "Bill, we're all go here. We just need you to push the big red button in front of you."
    "OK Houston, I'm pushing the button, and... huh?"
    "What is it Bill?"
    "This big window just popped up saying 'You do not have privileges to access applications Orbit and Space.' Oh, now the whole screen's gone blue. Is that normal Houston?"

    --
    Work smarter, not harder.
    1. Re:Countdown by maxwell+demon · · Score: 5, Funny

      When Bill Gates is on the ISS and wants to go back:
      "Huston, I have a problem."
      "What's your problem, Bill?"
      "I tried to get back to earth, but this damned space ship won't start."
      "You can't get back now."
      "Why not?"
      "You only bought the Space Basic license to get into space."
      "And that means?"
      "The Space Basic license doesn't include the license to return to earth."
      "Ehm ... but I want to return to earth!"
      "Well, no problem. You just have to upgrade your license to Space Premium. Or to Space Ultimate."
      "What's the difference?"
      "Space Ultimate also gives you the license to return to earth alive."
      "Ok, I'll take space ultimate."
      "Fine. The money will be drawn from your bank account. Of course you have to register."
      "Ok ... well, it says I cannot upgrade, because Space Genuine Advantage determined an invalid license."
      "Well, of course you have to have a valid Space Basic or Space Premium license to upgrade."
      "But I do have a valid license. Isn't there a way to circumvent SGA?"
      "Of course not. We certainly have to make sure that only people with valid licenses enter the ISS."
      "But I am already on the ISS."
      "So you must be a space pirate. Sorry, but we don't support space pirates."

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
  22. Pies Please by JMandingo · · Score: 2, Funny

    It would be GOLD one of the cosmonauts would pie him in the face as soon as he came through the airlock. GOLD.

    What a mess, though.

    --
    Vonnegut was right: Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been."
  23. Re:That sorts him out but one major fault remains by eMbry00s · · Score: 2, Informative

    a dozen orbits around Ballmer's ego
    Do you have any idea of how many years that would take?
  24. And in a perfectly timed manoever... by pandrijeczko · · Score: 2, Interesting

    ...50,000,000 geeks along the Eastern seaboard of the United States simultaneously switched on and off their home lighting to spell "Linux Rocks" in illuminated 500 mile high letters as Mr Gates passed overhead in the Soyuz 15 spacecraft...

    --
    Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
  25. Uhh... guys? by sam991 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Has there ever been a better chance to start a real life MST3K?

    It would solve all our problems!

    --
    "No, no, no, don't tug on that! You never know what it might be attached to."
  26. I hear the Vista is amazing from 100 miles up by Viol8 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Lets just hope Bill has a lovely XPerience and doesn't crash into the Blue Ocean of Death.

  27. Re:d'oh for you... by Nethemas+the+Great · · Score: 3, Funny

    I for one would like to see the look on his face when he climbs into the cockpit and sees the Vista boot splash...

    --Neth

    --
    Two of my imaginary friends reproduced once ... with negative results.
  28. Change Guidance System to Microsoft Windows by MrSteveSD · · Score: 2, Funny

    I feel that if Bill Gates does travel into space, the guidance system of the vehicle he travels in should be changed over to run on Microsoft Windows in his honour.