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Answers From Steve Jobs at Apple's Shareholder Meeting
DECS writes "At today's Apple annual shareholder meeting, a series of proposals were presented for voting after which CEO Steve Jobs answered a series of questions from the audience. Jobs talked about Greenpeace, stock options, the iPhone, Mac OS X Leopard, and .Mac."
So, you heard about the smargle . You've heard how the smargle is superior. But now you want to know, "how do I join the ranks of the smargle ?"
That's what this announcement is about.
If you wish to join the ranks of the smargle , you have to perform several tasks:
You must swear an oath to the smarglepriest in smargleland.
Then you have to fill out a bunch of smargleforms on smarglepaper.
If accepted, you will be notified. In such a case, you must see a smargledoctor, also in smargleland.
The smargledoctor will transform into the smargle of choice.
KNOWN TYPES OF SMARGLES:
The fish smarglegoblin. You can't transform into one of these yet, because no smargle has ever seen a fish. Only a fish smarglegoblin. And we don't know how to make you one. So there.
The blue smarglegoblin. You can't transform into one of these, either. These are specialties. And very strange. You can't be strange by choice. Only by birth. So there - again.
The fuzzy smarglegoblin. You can transform into one of these. Fuzzy smarglegoblins stay in either normal land or the city portion of smargleland. They are fuzzy. And good.
The scaled smargle or scaled smarglegoblin. If you choose to be a scaled smarglegoblin, you're just uglier than a smargle. And dumber. A lot dumber. They are scaled. And bad.
All non-blue smargles are orange. More smargles are discovered rather commonly, but rarely documented for non-smargles. Non-smargles don't deserve such information. They just deserve to know our superiority, how to become a smargle, and other announcements.
The smargle frep (myself) highly recommends that all new smargles become a fuzzy smarglegoblin. Fuzzy smarglegoblins are not uglier than fuzzy smargles, nor dumber, like scaled smargles are to scaled smarglegoblins. They're just cuter. That's how good works. They get good things if they have longer names. Understand? In any case, you should join the fuzzy smarglegoblins because they always win. Always.
That's about it. And remember - smargles are superior. Even scaled smargles.
You may now look to your right.
Continue.
- smargle frep
Isnt there some Linux distro update that yall could be posting about
dam yo
From TFA: "I wish it was just a matter of writing checks. If it was just a matter of spending money, Microsoft would deliver good products." Truer words have never been spoken. Also the oblig: In Soviet Russia, money spends Microsoft!
If he pulled it out of his front pocket (Jobs wears jeans), perhaps it's not prone to scratching or easily breakable. Maybe they learned something.
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
He's almost jovial all of a sudden. Its frightening.
Nice of him to finally clear the air on the stock scandal and get the whole facts out there. Knowing the whole story now it really does look like what analysts where saying, a whole lot of nothing. Why the feds think they need to go after Apple of all companies when there a MUCH bigger fish to fry (*cough* hello big oil shutting down refineries for maintenance right after coming off of maintenance cycles to decrease production) who knows.
Also nice of him to again point out how stupid Greenpeace is. I quite enjoyed the maybe you should hire a few engineers so you can understand what the hell your talking about remark.
"Slashdot, where telling the truth is overrated but lying is insightful."
'I make fifty cents just for showing up, and the other 50 cents is based on my performance.'
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Or maybe he has a thrown of iPhones in his office, and doesn't care if he scratches one at a shareholders meeting...
Jobs is insensitive to a high degree on this topic. The brand most known for design has done precious little to actually change the way things are made and reclaimed, except in a few instances. It makes more money to use the materials everyone else is using, and spend little on building a complete life cycle unless forced to do so by law.
My sources tell me that in contract mfg that the entire industry has *less* green mfg going on than seven years ago. There is an orgy at the Consumer Electronics Show every year, and no one is pulling the plug on it.
The effects of this aren't seen in adult humans, its frogs, and topsoil, pregnancies, cancers and hormonal effects, not to mention the amount of materials and energy and fresh water consumed. Grim but literally true. Jobs isnt on the same page here.
Maybe Mr. Jobs only "works" 10 minutes a year or so...
This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
That's what those little plastic dealies are for. Metal is malleable. If you scratch at it, it will leave a mark. It's not like it hurts the phone :)
He says it'll be released on time, but he said the same thing about the Apple TV a few weeks before they announced it would be delayed.
I'm guessing it's something to do with Leopard.
Your mind is clear / The things that you fear / Will fade with how much you / Believe what you hear
Scratches?! These nerds are going to be rubbing the iPhone all over their oily faces and hands constantly! I hope it comes with a shammy.
"Excuse me while I whip this out..."
Browsing at +1 - no ACs, I ignore their posts. So refreshing!
... degenerated into a dedicated ad site for Apple, Google and the gang lately. I set my filters to filter out junk like these, but still can't avoid them. I guess the nature of what matters has changed.
Yeah, go ahead fanboys, mod me to hell.
Yeah, but Apple is sitting on a very large pile of cash, and they need to do something with it. Pay a dividend, set up an R&D program (I think they have a "secretive" business in Nevada named after an apple variety, which might be for this purpose), buy back shares, do something please! Any fool can put money in the bank. At least convert it to Euros or something, the dollar is getting weaker!
My opinion as an Apple shareholder (1000 shares).
great - more reality distortion for the Jobs nuthuggers. I love all the positive spin folks are putting on his remarks.
... uh ... Dell? They suck! HP? They aren't doing anything either! Greenpeace? They don't know what they're talking about!"
"Apple is doing a LOT for the environment. Like what? Well
Great response - your critics don't know what they're talking about and everyone else isn't really doing anything. I wonder if Jobs realizes he's pretty much alone on his HP / Dell position (HP currently ranks No. 16 on the EPA's Fortune 500 list of Green Power Partners).
"Stock options backdating? Uh, yeah, the board agreed to give me a bunch of options during my compensation negotiation. I mean, I didn't want the pice to subsequently go up before they could get all the paperwork finalized and award me the options. What? Noooo - that was the board's decision to back-date them to the lowest price in the last 6 months. I didn't want that! Me? No way!!! Well, I guess it helped that the price was going up, but, I mean I didn't want that or the additional several million I made from it. I mean, I didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I didn't even know what was going on. Wait, where am I? Is this my kitchen? Who are all these people?"
Where are all the stories about Australia and Microsoft we used to get?
Oh, give us a break!
LOL!!
'Is that an iPhone in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?'
Down With Slashdot BETA!!! I've been around the corner and seen the oliphant; you can only abuse me from your perspecti
I'm not an OS X guy, so I don't follow or know my Mac-related sites. Anyway I follow the link, and I'm reading along, and in the second Greenpeace-related paragraph I encounter:
encouraging user donations to Greenpeace to somehow solve that issue.My BullshitDetectorReadingOpinion(submission) returns a mild buzz. Next line:
After attempting to take credit for Apple's announcements (referring to the G.P. rep)sends me off on a bit of surfing of roughlydrafted.com, and googling of same said, which leads me to the conclusion that roughlydrafted.com is Daniel Eran's pulpit. Some of the 'articles' are fine and interesting, but that's not my point.
A few weeks back someone defined the difference between digg and /. as that the former is a blog aggregator+comments and the latter is a news aggregator+comments.This captures the difference for me, and makes me wonder about the submission a bit.
I suppose this is why we have arguments on /. as to whether bloggers are journalists http://politics.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/04/ 07/0428225.
I do admit that Mr. Eran is pretty up-front with his bias, so you know where he stands while you're reading him.
[17] Leary, T., White, C., Wood, P. R., Bhabha, W. D., and Wirth, N. Lambda calculus considered harmful. In Proceedings
Or maybe he doesn't care since he probably has an unlimited stock of them.
Would you kindly mod me +1 insightful?
I think Greenpeace's Science - particularly with respect to greenhouse effect solutions is muddled - like the scientists don't have steering control. It would be cool if some one who's a expert and who's used to dealing with politicians (i.e who posesses a stron persona) examined exactly where they are headed and corrected that for them as it destroys their cause.
The purpose of existence is to make money.
Greenpeace's side. We heard from them first. They started this, remember? ("Apple are teh 5uxx0rz! Clean it up already!")
Then we heard a reply from Apple ("We were already doing that, like 12 years ago, so shaddup.").
Greenpeace got their response in ("See they changed their policy because of us! We r0x0rz!").
So we have now heard from both sides.
And Apple pwned Greenpeace. FTW.
Perhaps I didn't include enough context in my quote. The poster I replied to was talking about the stock scandal, not the Greenpeace issue.
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I don't know about Apple's overall corporate standing in terms of environment, and I don't think it matters that much. The fact is: computers are bad for the environment. The best thing you can do for the environment may be not to buy a new computer at all and keep using the old one. And the worst thing for the environment may ultimately be... the power hungry software upgrades that induce people to buy new hardware.
As for Apple, I wish they'd replace their styrofoam packaging with something recycled and biodegradable. Apple's packaging is like a throwback to the 70's.
Only if you start out with all the money you could ever spend. Just joking.;)
Put identity in the browser.
They get their iPhone out
"Loooook... shiiinyyyy...." *waves in face*
thrown of iPhones
Thrown of iPhones? I didn't know they let Ballmer into the Apple offices.
Mr Jobs. You and Apple wants to get bigger, to address yourself to bigger audience, that's why were going to different areas such as mobile,or iPods. But why don't you make your changes global? We, in Israel, got a company named "Yeda" which is the importer of the Apple merchandise to Israel, and they support your products (or so they should be). Their support is lame, their prices are not even possible price so we will even think of getting a mac (mac's popularity in Israel got less then 0.1 %). And still, not because we don't want to buy (it's just 2 expensive via "Yeda" which takes your price in the U.S and double it / triple it), what would you buy 1000$ P.C or 1000$ Mac which will cost you 3000$? Also, their support is just bad, I don't know what they've offered you to import your products, but it's clear that they are doing much more damage than profit.
Think about it,
Improve the service in some countries (like Israel), and you'll get much more bigger audience.
Read and Comment at my BLOG
!!!
Even though campaigning like this is often viewed as obnoxious and the author of the article sure seemed to think so, it's motivated several big companies to clean up their act.
Case in point, Ikea, which is nowadays greener and more ethical than any number of small furniture retailers, even the mom-and-pop operations that probably sell the worst kind of child labour produced rainforest wood furniture there is.
This due to being vocal about the problems by that company and now it turns out that if you want to be an ethical shopper you have to shop at Ikea.
Some say he is made with ascii, others that he is eyeballed daily by millions. All we know is, he is known as the Sig
The other option would be that Jobs never was the insane, mercurial Maniac some book authors made him out to be.
You're obviously utterly missing what's innovative about Apple's stuff. It's not that they have the latest and greatest tech (they often do, but it's not important). The innovative stuff is how they design the user interaction.
You can get pretty phones from LG. They do more and cost less than the iPhone. The problem is that the UI sucks.
Either you were not around during Yahoo! and Altavista, or you, dunno... are insane? How is pagerank not innovative?
the iRack and the iRan?
Well... they clearly don't let him in anymore. Would you if he threw you cell phone?
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
Mark Twain
I never quite understood the claim of the iPhone being easily scratchable. Yes the iPod's plastic screen scratches as does a Palm. Yet my Motorola SLVR sits in my pocket all the time and never scratches due to its glass screen. I'd venture to guess that the iPhone's screen will be made of glass as well to avoid scratches.
Slashdot: where repeating an article in a post is "+5 Insightful"
Lars T.
To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck
We have a word for people acting very much like Greenpeace in Argentina: Piqueteros
While they arise some good valid points and concerns, they do not bring any solution to the table.
GreenPeace folks need to do more homework before taking on Jobs. Or maybe all GreenPeacenicks use Apple computers and don't want to guilt themselves. What am I talking about?
50% of Apple computers in use right now, CANNOT be effectively upgraded. All iMacs, eMacs as well as Apple laptops CPU's (and Graphic cards too?) cannot be upgraded. Not only can they NOT be upgraded; the used Apple computer dollar value is so low - that they don't get recycled by second hand users so..... end up in landfills.
At the same time, Apple's own software upgrades (paid for upgrades) will NOT run on existing Apple computers - forcing users to chuck there hardware. For example, GarageBand won't even install on an iMac DV SE!
.
Since Apple keeps jumping up and down about it's designer's ability (to make things look cute?) - why don't they get their designers to design SNAP TOGETHER COMPONENTS. Right now you can buy an Asus laptop "shell"; and then install the various components you want use. And when you want to upgrade - just snap in the new components. Simple eh!
Read the summary, it's undoubtedly him talking about .mac, specifically iDisk. ;)
Comment of the year
I hope you're not working in any position where you design user interfaces - although I guess that, unfortunately, many people who do design UIs think like you do. You're wrong, of course. Usability is not subjective. It's measurable.
I'm not entirely sure you actually mean to say that usability is subjective. You're right when you say that different interfaces make different use cases simple. And yes, there will be cases where other phones are easier to use than the iPhone. But given Apple's track record, I expect the iPhone to be one of the - if not the - easiest to use phones on average.
God, I love that kind of hyperbole. You can practically smell the fear and obedience coiling off it, the fumes as it were blinding the writer to the placement of apostrophes.
Sure, fanboyism pretty much selects for monochromatic points of view. The point is always to circle the wagons and defend the ideal (not to mention the stock). Criticism can rarely be brooked; you'll notice the same about more than a few churches and political parties.
But this time out... Heh. Even measured against most ecstatic fanboyism, the headline takes honors: it's like something from the old Pravda, where the writers would whip out the superlatives whenever some gasbag was sober long enough to wheeze up a few words at a podium. Premier Brezhnev Challenges West's Mendacity and Corruption, etc. (But never the subhead: Later, impregnates terrified farmer's daughter in limousine behind silo.) True believers are always ready to fall to the knee praising the official line. What's amusing though perhaps also a little sad is how much alike, finally, in their rabidness are the commie and the capitalist stooge when the knee is bent!
The simple rebuttal to Jobs' snark is that it doesn't require an engineer to see that Apple pollutes, pollutes extravagantly, and has been exposed as such behind its veil of carefully manufactured, commodified hip. That's the issue--not whether Greenpeace has been overly generous to other companies. Greenpeace's failings aren't transmuted into Apple strengths. If they were, Jobs would have laughed off rather than acquiesced to the reform campaign.
I'm pleased to see Apple cleaning up its act. A shame it can't do so less bitterly, or without its choirs bugling hysterically when it finally acts on a long overdue responsibility. And how petty of Premier Jobs to act sore because the Greenpeace campaign has rung a bell with many of the company's consumers.
What did he expect? After years of assiduously professing to be "different" and, by attachment to certain cultural icons who appeared in the ads, "better," Apple's consumers have come to expect that might mean something larger than, say, the difference between the Finder and Windows Explorer. Such are the perils of corporate identity. And such is the price of courting liberals, Steve: in order to stay in their good graces, you actually have to practice some liberalism from time to time.