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Controlling Computers With the Brain

Posted by kdawson on from the telepathic-smileys dept.

Killam0n takes note of a story in CNN Money on progress in controlling computers via brainwaves. From an aspirin-sized implant a quadriplegic is now using to play computer games, the article extrapolates out to a near future in which we will all be wearing headband computers and IM'ing one another as if telepathically. "Two years ago, a quadriplegic man started playing video games using his brain as a controller. That may just sound like fun and games for the unfortunate, but really, it spells the beginning of a radical change in how we interact with computers — and business will never be the same. Someday, keyboards and computer mice will be remembered only as medieval-style torture devices for the wrists. All work — emails, spreadsheets, and Google searches — will be performed by mind control."

19 of 253 comments (clear)

  1. I'm not jacking in by no_pets · · Score: 3, Funny

    Screw that! I'm not connecting my brain to the company network.

    --
    "A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." - Shepard Book Quoting Malcolm Reynolds
    1. Re:I'm not jacking in by brunascle · · Score: 4, Funny

      aaaaaaggghhhh everytime i look at my wife the goatse guy pops up in the corner of my vision

    2. Re:I'm not jacking in by Radres · · Score: 2, Funny

      That happens to you, too?

    3. Re:I'm not jacking in by MyLongNickName · · Score: 2, Funny

      And Lord forbid that the thing causes your spelling and lack of capitalization to degenerate FURTHER!

      --
      See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
  2. Really? by east+coast · · Score: 4, Funny

    Someday, keyboards and computer mice will be remembered only as medieval-style torture devices for the wrists. All work -- emails, spreadsheets, and Google searches -- will be performed by mind control.

    You lazy bastards.

    --
    Dedicated Cthulhu Cultist since 4523 BC.
    1. Re:Really? by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 3, Funny

      Don't think of it as lazy. Think of it as freeing up a second hand to reach for the Kleenex.

  3. Mind-controlled computers will last until... by Half-pint+HAL · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mind-controlled computers will last until all trained computer operators have been sacked for sending rude emails to the boss. Worst part? They won't even know they've done it.

    --
    Got them moderator blues I blieve I walk out the do', With these mod-points I been gettin', I 'most never post no mo'
    1. Re:Mind-controlled computers will last until... by Radon360 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Great, so now we can look forward to people unwittingly sending flaming or sexually harrassing emails in their sleep and not know it until they get called on it the next day.

      What buzzword should develop for this phenomena?

      Sleeptexting?

      InSPAMnia?

  4. Excellent!!! by arthurpaliden · · Score: 4, Funny

    No more brainless computer users.

    --
    Undetectable Steganography? Yep, there's an app fo
  5. Already typing telepathically by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I've been SEX typing telepathically for some SEX time now. It's kinda SEX annoying when other SEX thoughts pop into my SEX head.

    1. Re:Already typing telepathically by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      You know...this guy has a point! My mind wanders too... there is NO way we will be able to control computers or enter text by thinking. There's just no way!

      Me trying to "think" the preamble to the Constitution...

      We the people of [damn im horny] the United States in [that new secretary is HOT!!!] order to form a more perfect [i wonder if she's taken] union, establish [hmmm I think I'm gonna go get a coke after I do this] justice....

  6. Typical Typist on a boring afternoon by ch-chuck · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Documents to be submitted to the document control center (DCC) must first be approved by the ISO committee, which meets every Tuesday, or Wednesday during a holiday. Submissions must be received before 9AM on Tuesday, preferably by email. Quickly he grabbed Laura and, while holding her tightly, looked deep into her eyes. Her heaving breasts rose and fell in a quickening pace as his hands caressed her hair. His deep, muscular, voice whispered, "Darling, I must have you now!". Documents that have been rejected must be corrected by the author and be approved by a supervisor before resubmitting to the DCC"

    --
    try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
  7. oh the humiliation by Jeek+Elemental · · Score: 5, Funny

    brain not found think "space" to continue

  8. Re:Could we come up with articles a little older? by Ohreally_factor · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're probably using the wrong metaphor for slashdot. Slashdot is like a wine cellar. This story is an amusing vintage with citrus-y overtones and an underlying note of distopia. Should go great with Salmon.

    --
    It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
  9. Uh...we're all in trouble by grasshoppa · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am writing porn this from a computer boobs of the future, sex based on the mind control hot chicks input techniques described teen oral here.

    Since coffee this boobs technology was first sugar implemented, I have hamsters been unable midgets to hold a single job.

    --
    Mod me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
    1. Re:Uh...we're all in trouble by Avatar8 · · Score: 3, Funny
      Exactly.


      I don't know of anyone with the discipline to keep a single focused thought in their head for more than one minute. That's how our brains work. We take input from multiple sources, perform all manner of manipulation on it, add our own inner voice and it's rather a cacophony in there.

      Imagine walking down the street of the future wearing one of these headband computers. You're dictating a memo for work, IM'ing your significant other andupdating your grocery list. Just then an attractive man/woman walks by. Not only do all the above functions stop momentarily, but fantasy kicks in and you imagine that person naked. Your headband takes this as a command to open Photoshop, capture an image of the person, alter it to match your mental image and immediately insert it into your document, send it to your SO and updates your grocery list to buy melons or sausage.

      Filtering will be a key hurdle in this technology.

  10. Re:Could we come up with articles a little older? by dotpavan · · Score: 2, Funny

    uh uh, kdawson had "thought of" posting it that week (using his brain-controlled-laptop), but somehow it slipped. Just like this was supposed to be a first post!

  11. Wheres my damn datajack? by Orclover · · Score: 4, Funny

    Serriously where the hell is it? I'ts 07 and I dont have a flying car, monkey buttler or datajack to plug my head directly into a computer! WTF man? In a few years I am going to turn 40, if I cant take "cybering" to a whole new level or braindump into halo 5 with full virtual sensory control then why the hell are we even bothering with new technology. We are waaay the hell behind in this crap from where we should be. Hell by 2020 I need to be able to ditch my meat corpse permenantly and become a ghost in a datastream somewhere enjoying all the world wide web until a wayward asteroid ends the party for the whole planet.

    I got a schedule here people!

    --
    I am Jack's complete lack of surprise. -Fight Club
  12. Pink Elephants by kalirion · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey Bob, whatever you do, don't think about reformatting the hard drive and being sure that you want to do it!