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Uwe Boll Has Three Picture Distribution Deal
1up is reporting that famed, beloved film-maker Uwe Boll has landed a three-picture deal with a company called FreeStyle. They're going to be releasing three Boll-helmed films to theatres across the country. The three films are Postal, Dungeon Siege, and an original work by the director called Seed. "The high-profile cast of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale -- Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Ron Perlman, Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys-Davies, Matthew Lillard and Burt Reynolds -- means Freestyle's putting their muscle behind the fantasy epic. Opening January 18, 2008, the film's scheduled to appear in at least 2,500 screens -- a nice score for Boll, considering BloodRayne's distribution problems."
I saw the headline that said "three pictures" as in still images and thought to myself "Yeah, that's about the right length for a Uwe Boll film".
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Am I the only one who involuntarily flinches whenever news comes out about movies based on games? I swear, it's an actual physical reaction to mental trauma!
P.P.S. I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
How many times does Uwe Boll go down for a deal like this? Silver tongue? Hypnosis? Pact with Satan?
"considering Bloodrayne's distribution problems"??? You're joking right? The problem was that Bloodrayne was distributed at all! *shudder* And once again he's trying to hide his pathetic movie making "skills" with some high-profile name. Hey, if Ben Kingsley and that honey Kristianna Lokken couldn't save Bloodrayne I'm not sure how he thinks that doing it again will someone work. Apparently, this company that's giving him these three films has not heard of the phrase about learning from history.
:P
Ooh. I'd better be careful lest Boll challenge me to a boxing match. Unfortunately, he's a better boxer than filmmaker. Then again, he probably does everything better than filmmaking.
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John Rhys-Davies just wants to be a dwarf again.
Uwe Boll is my favorite movie director and producer, and fight choreographer of all time. He should make a movie a week because I would watch them all! Bloodrayne was one of the best movies ever because of Kristanna's amazing breasts and Billy Zane's pimp toupee that looked like he kept it in a pocket right up until the camera started rolling in every scene and hastily kinda just slapped it on, barely checking if it was even right-side-up.
Forget Peter Jackson and Halo. Uwe Boll is the only man for that job. And for Zelda as well. I can't wait for his awesome Oscar-sweeping epic Dungeon Siege movie; I assume Burt Reynolds plays the donkey.
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What flabergasts me is why studios still like him. House of the Dead (2003) Budget: $7MM; Domestic gross: $10MM Alone in the Dark (2005) Budget: $20MM; Domestic gross: $5.13MM Bloodrayne (2005) Budget: $25MM; Domestic gross: $1.55MM In all 3 cases I couldn't find any significant foreign box office numbers (might have missed those somehow though). Ignoring film quality, I could understand studios taking a risk and giving him more small films to take a crack at. The risk/reward is probably pretty good given how healthy the gaming market is. I don't understand why they're taking an even bigger bet on him though.
His movies gets the attention they deserves and I hope it atleast ends the overall negative publicity his movies gets. They may not be masterpieces but they definently are alot better than what many says.
Dungeon Siege: The Movie
Let's not stir that bag of worms...
It's all about tax write-offs.
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I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Why hasn't someone taken this man's movie making license away!!!??? And what frickin suckers would give this guy money to make movies in the first place?????
The best scene in Bloodrayne was Meatloaf's naked vamp chick harem, then you he actually had to throw meatloaf in that scene which took it down a bunch of notches.
I saw a brief story a while back on Postal and thought to myself, um, like the game REALLY didn't have much of a story line. It was pretty much "I've lost it, oo a gun! BANG BANG BANG!!!! I regret nothing" and blows off his head. How in the world could you figure that would make a good 1:30 movie?
Damn it Jack Thompson use your ignorance to do some good and stop Uwe Bolle from making movies!
Dewser - all around techy "In the immortal words of Socrates - 'I drank what?'"
People will go to the cinema and think: "Wow, looks like they totally Uwe'd this movie, let's check out something else."
It's not how it works. You see, some movies are so bad, I mean SO BAD, that they're good. The canonical example is "Plan 9 from outer space" (you gotta check this out).
If you thought Plan 9 is funny, then you will love Uwe's "Alone in the Dark" quite a bit more. The movie is so hilarious, that if they marketed it as a parody, I'd never suspect anything else.
The script, acting, editing, effects: everything is going to crack you up. And this is why, I like Uwe's movies and watch them. Especially good if you go watch it with some friends.
"Eeeew! Blows!"
For the second time in two days, I get to plug one of my Escapist articles: "Uwe Boll and the German Tax Code," which answers the perennial question "Why do people keep giving Boll money to make movies?" (Link goes to HTML text version.)