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Uwe Boll Has Three Picture Distribution Deal
1up is reporting that famed, beloved film-maker Uwe Boll has landed a three-picture deal with a company called FreeStyle. They're going to be releasing three Boll-helmed films to theatres across the country. The three films are Postal, Dungeon Siege, and an original work by the director called Seed. "The high-profile cast of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale -- Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Ron Perlman, Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys-Davies, Matthew Lillard and Burt Reynolds -- means Freestyle's putting their muscle behind the fantasy epic. Opening January 18, 2008, the film's scheduled to appear in at least 2,500 screens -- a nice score for Boll, considering BloodRayne's distribution problems."
I saw the headline that said "three pictures" as in still images and thought to myself "Yeah, that's about the right length for a Uwe Boll film".
The enemies of Democracy are
Am I the only one who involuntarily flinches whenever news comes out about movies based on games? I swear, it's an actual physical reaction to mental trauma!
P.P.S. I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
John Rhys-Davies just wants to be a dwarf again.
Uwe Boll is my favorite movie director and producer, and fight choreographer of all time. He should make a movie a week because I would watch them all! Bloodrayne was one of the best movies ever because of Kristanna's amazing breasts and Billy Zane's pimp toupee that looked like he kept it in a pocket right up until the camera started rolling in every scene and hastily kinda just slapped it on, barely checking if it was even right-side-up.
Forget Peter Jackson and Halo. Uwe Boll is the only man for that job. And for Zelda as well. I can't wait for his awesome Oscar-sweeping epic Dungeon Siege movie; I assume Burt Reynolds plays the donkey.
I like basketball!!1!
What flabergasts me is why studios still like him. House of the Dead (2003) Budget: $7MM; Domestic gross: $10MM Alone in the Dark (2005) Budget: $20MM; Domestic gross: $5.13MM Bloodrayne (2005) Budget: $25MM; Domestic gross: $1.55MM In all 3 cases I couldn't find any significant foreign box office numbers (might have missed those somehow though). Ignoring film quality, I could understand studios taking a risk and giving him more small films to take a crack at. The risk/reward is probably pretty good given how healthy the gaming market is. I don't understand why they're taking an even bigger bet on him though.
People will go to the cinema and think: "Wow, looks like they totally Uwe'd this movie, let's check out something else."
It's not how it works. You see, some movies are so bad, I mean SO BAD, that they're good. The canonical example is "Plan 9 from outer space" (you gotta check this out).
If you thought Plan 9 is funny, then you will love Uwe's "Alone in the Dark" quite a bit more. The movie is so hilarious, that if they marketed it as a parody, I'd never suspect anything else.
The script, acting, editing, effects: everything is going to crack you up. And this is why, I like Uwe's movies and watch them. Especially good if you go watch it with some friends.
"Eeeew! Blows!"
For the second time in two days, I get to plug one of my Escapist articles: "Uwe Boll and the German Tax Code," which answers the perennial question "Why do people keep giving Boll money to make movies?" (Link goes to HTML text version.)