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Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition Announced
bigstrat2003 writes "For the past day, Wizards of the Coast has had a countdown to "4dventure" on their web site. The countdown ran out at 6:30 eastern time today (and the web site promptly crashed), but stories are already appearing on the rest of the web. Wizards also has had their 4th edition forums up for a couple of days."
A front page D&D news story. That's gotta be hard to top.
They failed on their save vs. nerds roll.
So how much xp do we get for killing the website?
I think that I am (rolls a d20)...happy for this news.
Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
I lost interest when they started coming out with all the specialized books for the various specialties.
When I realized I had more money tied up in D&D than I had in my stereo and computer systems combined I decided to quit cold turkey.
And I realized trying to get a game of D&D together when you're 19 is a pretty sad thing. Everyone else with their girls and drugs and booze, and me with my Horseshoes of a Zeyphr, and bag of holding.
Linux Zealots: Smarter than Mac Zealots, but still zealots.
I'm going to have to spend all my money buying the new books! If I had a girlfriend, she'd kill me!
This sig, aah-ah, is comin' like a ghost-sig...
WARNING: The following product contains orcs, trolls, wizards and knights. Neither the author nor the publisher shall assume any explicit or implied responsibility for potential loss of sex, lunch money, or dignity. Prolonged use may result in permanent retention of "virgin" status.
Come on, this deserves positive moderation for the oblique futurama/gygax reference:
... (rolls dice) ... pleasure
y -Of-Interest-I.html
GYGAX
Greetings! It's a
to meet you!
http://www.imsdb.com/transcripts/Futurama-Anthlog
"Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
I'm literally in shock right now.
I hope you're near a hospital. Do you want me to call 911 for you?
Or perhaps find a dictionary so you can look up "literally"?
Bah! Back in my day, we just had Greyhawk! And we liked it! You kids and your fancy-schmansy role-playing games these days! Back in my day, the nearest store that sold polyhedral was a four-day walk from my house! Uphill! Both ways! In the snow! You kids have it easy these days!
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
I don't think he meant for him to be modded funny...
Hey, WTF!! He was talking about my post! Not his own! I'm the one that needs validation, not him!!
*shakes his fist at the gods of moderation*
Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
Bah! You think that was hard, do ya sonnyjim? Back in my day, the only polyhedral die were marbles, and we didn't have no fancy books, just stone tablets. Of course, we had knights and dragons back then too, which made things easier in some ways. Didn't need an imagination, for starters.
Of course people play at tournaments!
Fnord.
"Welcome to Slashdot!"
If he'd written it about a gelatinous cube eating his balls, he'd have earned the elusive "Keyboard of First Posting +5". The trick is to come up with a cliche that's actually on topic. He almost got it.
I need some more 3.5 stuff. Maybe this will put a little more of it on ebay.
Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
Hah, hah, I literally laughed my ass off when I read your comment. Now if I could only find where it rolled off to under the computer desk.
Greyhawk. Now, *that* brings back memories. Graph paper, polyhedral dice rounded off from rolling, the original cardboard dungeon master's shields with the critical hit tables listed on them. Scrounging for money to pay for new lead figures and paint. Way too much soda and chips all evening, the leaden sound of grades dropping below passing as we spent nights playing instead of "studying at a friend's house, mom, honest!" The smell of far too many unwashed young men in a room, great fat older men sitting on and breaking every chair they sat on as they tried to reach over the table to move their elven-princess-wearing-only-a-tiara leaden figures.
Now send me your address so I can mail *you* these memories and kill your desire for sex for the next ten years.
You're starting to get it, but you're not quite there. The purpose of the game is to argue about the rules, not "play" them.
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
You think you had it hard with marbles for dice and real dragons trying to eat you? PFFFt, you were pampered.
Why, When I played D&D, there were no dragons yet, and they hadn't even invented magic. To us the game was sci-fi!
NOW GIT OFF MAH LAWN!
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
Speaking from experience, if you are:
1) Intelligent enough to win a D&D tournament
2) Lucky enough with the dice to win a D&D tournament
3) Big and strong enough to literally bash through a wall
Then, yes, the one, single, supa-hot D&D honey will be all-up-ons. And lordy, lordy, will she ever be into cosplay, with more vinyl and leather than you can conceive of... super bonus round for fetish-addled roleplay freaks. Hot chicks love a fat geek, so long as he can kill a jock with his bare hands and understands the difference between her Sailor Moon costume and her Sailor Mars costume.
The rest of you will die alone.
Memories? BAH! Back in my day, we didn't even have memories. Nothing had happened yet. The universe was still cooling off from the Big Bang, which was all anyone could talk about, since there were no stone tablets yet for us to carve the news in. We had to assemble everything from gluons and bosons and mesons with our bare hands, and we liked it that way. None of those pre-fabricated nucleons with their fancy positive and negative electrical charges.
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
I was often the DM for our group of players, and I was always amazed at how people came up with ways to create crazy new things to do. Usually it annoyed the piss out of me, but it was always quite inventive. The problem was always then having to deal with the 'problem'. If a roomful of [insert baddies here] stop being a challenge, then you have to find your own inventive ways to get the players to work. 'Hmmmm, you put your armor on for the 54th day in a row... (rolls d20, pretends to look at it)... you have a heart attack, sorry guys, Gromgir will have to stay home today'
I will shred my adversaries. Pull their eyes out just enough to turn them towards their mewing, mutilated faces. Illyria
I distinctly remember one game where as a bunch of third level characters we got to meet an evil dragon who was going to be instrumental in our DMs campaign, but we thought we were goners and attacked him, so one of us jumped in his mouth (the dragon failed a dodge, go figure) and tried to stab him in the brain... figure that one out...
What's wrong with casting grease? It's the word after all, it's got groove, it's got meaning...
Nobody. It was all an elaborate ruse. Since you and your kids aren't playing it, it sure stands to reason no one is, because you're the only people in the world, you fucking moron.