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MS Seeks Patent On Virtual Fuzzy Dice

theodp writes "Microsoft just published a patent application for an adaptive heads-up user interface for automobiles. It covers, among other things, virtual fuzzy dice that appear to move with automobile movements."

30 of 173 comments (clear)

  1. Air freshener by mattb112885 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Did they patent a virtual air freshener too? Because I really need one.

  2. I'll say! by ClayJar · · Score: 5, Funny

    Did they patent a virtual air freshener too? Because I really need one. I'll say. I can virtually smell you from here. :D
  3. I have some... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have some fuzzy dangling things that they can try and patent.

    1. Re:I have some... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      You can't patent man-breasts.

    2. Re:I have some... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      Yes, I suspect Mr. Ballmer has already claimed that particular goldmine.

    3. Re:I have some... by CrtxReavr · · Score: 5, Funny

      If you'd wipe better, you wouldn't have so much prior art.

      -CR

      --
      "So is the BSD licence even more 'free' (than GPLv2)? Yes. Unquestionably." --Linus Torvalds (TinyURL.com/2vugzl)
  4. What will they patent next... by downix · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can't wait till the virtual dancing hula girl arrives.... She could probably even dance to show you the direction to turn when plugged into your GPS.

    --
    Karma Whoring for Fun and Profit.
    1. Re:What will they patent next... by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 2, Funny

      Virtual bobbing chihuahua head. It detects when someone is tailgating and then, while bobbing up and down, it flips the driver the bird.

  5. Wonder if they will assist.. by CIANCHAMBLISS · · Score: 5, Funny

    First Clippy, now Dicey?

  6. Patent Coverage? by OctoberSky · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does this patent cover anything that sways when hung from a virtual car and virtually sways?

    I'm really concerned about the virtual nutsack I have hanging from my virtual trailer hitch on my virtual truck.

  7. Re:queue microsoft crash jokes by mwvdlee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Will there be a GPS-based clippy that gives directions to places you don't want to go?

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  8. Prior art by Kazymyr · · Score: 2, Funny

    I have had fuzzy dice that move with the car movements for as long as I can remember. And it's a mechanical device too, not your fancy digital dice. Now excuse me, I gotta go put holes in some punchcards.

    --
    I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem
  9. Virtual.... by JeremyGNJ · · Score: 2, Funny

    I cant wait to get one so I can have...

    My own....
    Virtual......
    Jesus

    1. Re:Virtual.... by Zordok · · Score: 2, Funny

      If it's virtual, how can you "reach out and touch faith"?

  10. WTF? Dice? Nobody will pay for that! by Colin+Smith · · Score: 2, Funny

    A huge finger on the other hand...

    --
    Deleted
  11. I don't care if it rains or freezes... by Internet+Ronin · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... as long as I got my digital Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car.

  12. Re:queue microsoft crash jokes by Kazymyr · · Score: 2, Funny

    Gives a new meaning to "Where do you want to go today?"

    --
    I hadn't known there were so many idiots in the world until I started using the Internet -Stanislaw Lem
  13. Re:Another driver's distraction! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Virtual displays? Who needs 'em? Why, when I was young, you were lucky to have a windscreen at all, let alone a roof over your head. And these fancy 'automatic' transmissions. Who needs 'em? And now they have six, seven, even eight speeds! Why, we only had three, four of you counted reverse, and you had to select them yourself using a stick that came up through the floor boards. Why, the clutch was so heavy, my left leg was near twice the size of my right. And power hydraulic brakes, we had good steel links running to our drum brakes and they worked fine! Sure they would fade out on a long hill and leave you hanging on the horn hoping nobody pulled out in front of you while you zipped through town, but we liked 'em just fine! Intermittent wipers? We had 'em! Those old vacuum motors were about as intermittent as you could get! Stomp on the gas going up a big hill and the manifold would drop to zero and wipers would just freeze, leaving you charging up the hill with water streaming across the windscreen, if you were lucky enough to have one, the whole world a blurry mess. Of course, if you didn't have a windscreen, you could just wipe your glass goggles with the chamois back of your driving gloves, if you were lucky enough to have them.

  14. Re:queue microsoft crash jokes by Andrewkov · · Score: 3, Funny

    "You appear to be in an accident, air bags are about to deploy. Cancel or Allow?"

  15. So... What's Next? by blcamp · · Score: 3, Funny


    A patent on Virtual Flying Chairs?!

    --
    The problem with socialism is that they always run out of other people's money. - Margaret Thatcher
  16. Re:queue microsoft crash jokes by somersault · · Score: 2, Funny

    Heh.
    "You appear to be crying out in pain, do you wish help writing a complaint to the manufacturer?"

    "You appear not a DMV certified driver, HUD functions will be limited to wanted stars and health levels"

    --
    which is totally what she said
  17. Re:Obviousness Criteria by sqldr · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hopefully this will fail the new obviousness criteria

    I, on the other hand, hope that all of microsoft's other patents fail, and this is the only one they're left with in their entire portfolio. Fluffy dice.

    --
    I wrote my first program at the age of six, and I still can't work out how this website works.
  18. Re:Horn by MrNiceguy_KS · · Score: 2, Funny

    Don't forget Virtual Middle Finger! (tm)

    --
    Redundancy is good And also good.
  19. Re:Wow, virtual fuzzy dice. How useless by goldenrod3 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Better combustion technology, efficiency etc. blah blah, that would be far too sensible! How about a fast, small footprint, reliable, secure operating system with a clean, responsive interface? Instead we have Vista!!

  20. Re:Finally... by Alioth · · Score: 2, Funny

    There'll be DRM, so it should really be "Where will we allow you to go today?"

  21. Re:Great by slashname3 · · Score: 2, Funny

    The other issue is that we finally get to experience the punch line to that old joke, stopping the car every 100 miles to reboot it.

    And just think of all the accidents when the blue screen of death obscures the entire windshield...

  22. Can they .... by PPH · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...display virtual loose bits of paper, assorted junk and fast food wrappers that slide back and forth on my dashboard as I go around corners?

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  23. Re:Great by Locutus · · Score: 2, Funny

    Didn't you know that they had promoted the designer of Microsoft BOB to the auto research department?

    LoB

    --
    "Anyone who stands out in the middle of a road looks like roadkill to me." --Linus
  24. Based on Vista? by Micah_H · · Score: 2, Funny

    You are attempting to brake at a stop sign. Cancel or Allow?

  25. Fuzzy Dice Prior Art...??? by tmasman · · Score: 2, Funny
    Um, isn't that already in use in a ton of other games already?
    I know I saw it in Crazy Taxi (on the Dreamcast)...

    Ug... This patent crap has gotten out of hand.
    We should just scrap the whole pile of fuzzy dice & start over with a shorter available protection period & an easier means of shooting down invalid patent apps to begin with.

    --
    Oh! And this one time, at band camp...