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Girl's Heart Regenerates With Artificial Assist

Socguy writes with news about a 15-year-old girl who has become the first Canadian to have an artificial heart removed after her own heart healed itself. "Doctors at the Stollery Children's hospital implanted the Berlin Heart, a portable mechanical device that keeps blood pumping in an ailing heart, so she could survive until a transplant became available. But over the next few months, Melissa's overall condition improved dramatically, and her heart muscle regained much of its strength. After 146 days on the Berlin Heart, Melissa underwent surgery to have the device removed."

15 of 184 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Let forth... by siyavash · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, the joke would be too cruel. For god sake, somebody think of the children! :p

  2. Melissa Dorothy by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    In other news, her old artificial heart is to be given to her closest friend.

  3. Maybe by User+956 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe her heart didn't regenerate. Maybe she just has two, because she's a klingon.

    --
    The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
    1. Re:Maybe by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      ...or a timelord?

    2. Re:Maybe by bytesex · · Score: 2, Funny

      Or Mathew Starr.

      --
      Religion is what happens when nature strikes and groupthink goes wrong.
  4. Re:Let forth...Pffaaa! by andy666 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Like many slashdotters, I've had my heart broken over and over, and it keeps regenerating. Like that Jody Foster thing....I was convinced she was serious, but I just couldn't get past security.

  5. Praise Jesus! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Our God is indeed a God of Mircales and Wonders. The hand of the great Healer is clearly at work for this sweet girl.

    Thank you, Jesus! Praise be to your precious name.

    1. Re:Praise Jesus! by MMC+Monster · · Score: 3, Funny

      Let us give thanks to his noodly appendage.

      --
      Help! I'm a slashdot refugee.
  6. House M.D. by Antarius · · Score: 5, Funny

    Gregory House, eat your heart out! Er, wait...

  7. Praise be to science! by typidemon · · Score: 4, Funny

    Without whom this little girl would have died. Oh, congratulations to Jesus for getting around to saving the little girl's life.

    I'd imagine that if more people had donated money to the church, Jesus would have been able to get to her sooner rather than later. Jesus loves us, but he needs money. So get off of your chair and donate some money now, so her little friend might be saved.

  8. Re:Let forth...Pffaaa! by WwWonka · · Score: 4, Funny

    Like many slashdotters, I've had my heart broken over and over

    ...realizing once again that the 22 year old beautiful blonde girl with huge boobs on MySpace that just sent you a friend request is really your fat unemployed neighbor Ned?

  9. Re:I want to know why she healed - what caused it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Don't be ridiculous. Why would Nazis want to replace the innocent heart of a young girl with a cold, steel mach.. OH MY GOD!!! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!!

  10. Re:Let forth...Pffaaa! by somersault · · Score: 5, Funny

    Meh - as long as he has decent boobs too then it's okay

    --
    which is totally what she said
  11. Re:Let forth... by Kabuthunk · · Score: 2, Funny

    Just when you thought that there was no way to heal a broken heart...

    --
    Planet Zebeth - Metroid with a twist
  12. Libertarian question by CptPicard · · Score: 2, Funny

    How the fuck can a 15-year old girl's wealth generation ability be enough for some fancy artificial heart?? Her parents better have paid for it, or otherwise it distorted the market and reduced my ability to make more profits.

    There was an excellent Outer Limits episode (1x05) of exactly this kind of an event, but of course Socialist propaganda was injected into it to make the ending morally repugnant.

    --
    I want to play Free Market with a drowning Libertarian.