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G.I. Joe No Longer the Real American Hero?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the pussification-of-the-modern-male dept.

Advocate123 writes "Clearly, Hollywood has forgotten the, 'Real American Hero.' G.I. Joe originally symbolized the American WWII soldier and a great generation. Now Hollywood celebrities are going to turn him into a international multicultural coed task force with no government affiliations. Isn't anything sacred to these people?"

21 of 548 comments (clear)

  1. In other news.... by MonorailCat · · Score: 5, Funny

    President Bush has signed a $100 million appropriations bill to supply soldiers in Iraq with red lasers.

    1. Re:In other news.... by MagusSlurpy · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, now, that's good news, but when is he going to send them the sharks?

      --
      My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.
    2. Re:In other news.... by hoppo · · Score: 2, Funny

      All I want is sharks with frickin laser beams, and you have to bog me down with all these details.

  2. Damn It! by rossz · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now those bastards are turning him into a euro-pussie. They already have Ken, what more do they want?

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    -- Will program for bandwidth
    1. Re:Damn It! by wamerocity · · Score: 2, Funny

      Are you suggesting that a Greenpeace Soldier action figure would not be manly?!

      --
      "Thank you for using Stop-n-Drop, America's favorite suicide booth since 2008"
    2. Re:Damn It! by rossz · · Score: 3, Funny

      A greenpeace action figure would eat tofu, wear earth shoes, and run screaming like a school girl at the first sign of any real danger.

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      -- Will program for bandwidth
    3. Re:Damn It! by gwaawg · · Score: 2, Funny

      lol! first Jesus Christ and now G.I. Joe.... Those darned Europeans.

    4. Re:Damn It! by hollywoodb · · Score: 2, Funny

      Dude, it was called the "Rainbow Warrior". Everyone knew it was going to go down.

      --
      I may have to share this planet with animals, but I'm doing my damn best to eat every last one of them.
    5. Re:Damn It! by hawk · · Score: 2, Funny

      Oh, c'mon.

      France was *desperate* for a military victory after 900 years . . . :)

      hawk

  3. And I, for one, welcome. . . by MagusSlurpy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Our new international multicultural coed overlords!

    --
    My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.
  4. Re:Old News by the_humeister · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wait, you mean Cobra-La wasn't a real nation???

  5. the hurt . . . by LiquidHAL · · Score: 2, Funny

    i'm rolling my eyes as hard as i can. it hurts, but i dare not stop.

  6. What? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Your comment is nearly incoherent. It looks as if you've been cutting and pasting random quotes from some sort of badly translated alternate history comic book.

  7. Re:Mmm, bias by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hollywood limousine liberal idiots are exceeding my patience. I can handle their unabashed socialism, even their global warming insanity, but when they attack G.I. Joe, enough is enough. If GI Joe can't fight off a bunch of 'limousine liberals' then he is already a pussy.
    --
    When information is power, privacy is freedom.
  8. Re:No... by poopdeville · · Score: 3, Funny

    I've got a bad feeling that Jerry Bruckheimer, Michael Bay, Uwe Boll, or W.S. Anderson is going to direct. This has the potential to make Team America: World Police the world's first parody of a chronologically later film.

    --
    After all, I am strangely colored.
  9. Grammatical error! by Bieeanda · · Score: 5, Funny

    Some random person's screechy blog is news by nerds, not news for nerds.

  10. Fuck GI Joe! by coaxial · · Score: 2, Funny

    He's no hero. He always let Cobra Commander -- the leader of a ruthless terrorist orgainization determined to rule the world -- get away. A real leader like George W. Bush would never let that happen.

  11. G.I. Joe as he should be remembered by commodoresloat · · Score: 2, Funny
    WTF is up with this article? Some wingnut freeper whining in his blog about the demise of G.I. Joe? Get a grip (yeah, like the GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip). I present you GI Joe's real finest moments:
  12. Chuck by chiller2 · · Score: 2, Funny


    So they emasculated GI Joe? We still have Chuck Norris. Balls of steel!

    --
    --- Commission free trading & free stock up to $500 - use http://share.robinhood.com/kelvinp6 :)
  13. Re:Don't these rightwing bozos understand .... by 1u3hr · · Score: 4, Funny
    Incorrect, gripping hands make him an action figure. Looks at Ken's hands then look at Joe's.

    So Joe grips Ken?

  14. And Jordan Carlos, as "Alan" by Scrameustache · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can't help but shudder at the thought of complaints from minority groups if there weren't any token blacks/Hispanics/etc. Personally, I find characters whose sole purpose is to stand up and scream "look at me, I'm not white!" to be rather annoying. That's why the black guy always dies first: they didn't want him in the first place.

    On the flipside, Lando WAS awesome, as a space pimp ought to be.
    --

    You can't take the sky from me...