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Microsoft's Consent-or-Die Patent

Posted by Zonk on from the i'm-more-of-a-cake-or-death-man-myself dept.

theodp writes "Maybe you shouldn't get too attached to those new Windows Live services. On Tuesday, the USPTO granted Microsoft a patent for privacy policy change notification, which describes how to threaten users with the loss of their accounts and access to web sites and services should they refuse to consent to changes in a privacy policy. This includes the case where a user might object to allowing personal information, collected earlier with a promise of confidentiality, to be shared in the future with third parties. Also described is a 'Never Notify Me' option so you won't have to 'worry' over privacy policy changes."

17 of 179 comments (clear)

  1. What is this, anyway? by FlyByPC · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...they're trying to outdo Google by embracing a "Don't be Good" motto?

    --
    Paleotechnologist and connoisseur of pretty shiny things.
    1. Re:What is this, anyway? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      You've got them all wrong. They *patented* this method, so they can sue anyone who tries to do this. They'd never actually use it themselves. Microsoft is not only Innovative, they're also Good.

    2. Re:What is this, anyway? by WED+Fan · · Score: 3, Funny

      I've got one mod point left. And instead of using it, I'm posting here to let you know that I'd use it on you had I not decided to post to this topic.

      But, in the end, you weren't compelling enough.

      I was looking for more substance, something that I could use around the water-cooler later this morning. I wanted something that would just hit me at my very core and tell me that, "Yes, all of America is summed up in that very statement, and FlyByPC has his finger on the very pulse of the nation."

      Instead, I feel like the prom date, who gets up to the front porch at the end of the evening and gets a handshake and a "I had a nice time."

      Am I asking too much?

      --
      Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong fix.
    3. Re:What is this, anyway? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      !evil

  2. And the award... by gzerphey · · Score: 3, Funny

    And the award for most dramatic Slashdot headline goes to...

    --
    I don't have a microwave. I do, however, have a clock that occasionally cooks shit.
  3. Good by thetagger · · Score: 4, Funny

    They have patented an unethical behaviour. Does that mean it will be harder for other people to do what the patent describes? Please?

    1. Re:Good by Dunbal · · Score: 4, Funny

      They have patented an unethical behaviour. Does that mean it will be harder for other people to do what the patent describes? Please?

            No, it just means they will sue your pants off if you are more unethical than they are.

      --
      Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
    2. Re:Good by muellerr1 · · Score: 4, Funny

      They have patented an unethical behaviour. Does that mean it will be harder for other people to do what the patent describes? Please?

      No, it just means they will sue your pants off if you are more unethical than they are.
      If you are more unethical than they are, your pants are probably already off.
      --
      steampunk web design
  4. Re:You won't die. by Reverend528 · · Score: 5, Funny

    If your pacemaker is hooked up to a microsoft website, you're probably already dead.

    --
    Badass Resumes
  5. A digital heart plug by AHuxley · · Score: 3, Funny

    Reminds me of the heart plug in the movie Dune.
    "Don't be angry. Everyone gets one here."
    One twist by a Microsoft cubical creep and all your data drains out.

    --
    Domestic spying is now "Benign Information Gathering"
  6. Re:You won't die. by Renraku · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Your pacemaker couldn't be verified by Windows Genuine Advantage. Please contact your Microsoft representative to acquire a legal licence. Pacing has been disabled."

    --
    Job? I don't have time to get a job! Who will sit around and bitch about being broke and unemployed then?
  7. Re:You won't die. by gardyloo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Which makes me wonder how you managed to get it hooked up to a microsoft website in the first place. Last I heard their pacemaker API required that you buy their brand of pacemaker which is only available in very few select locations and costs thousands more than any others. Yes, but you can get a corporate discount, and some of their ports are closed by default.
  8. Would it be legal? by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 4, Funny
    Supposing I make a TShirt that says, "By looking at this T-Shirt you agree not to sleep with me. However I am free to change the terms of the contract, and agree that you don't have to notified of any change I make to this policy." and then ... you can imagine the rest.

    Your Honor, I plead not guilty to the charges, as it was consensual. As per my consent notification system (defense exhibit A, the T-Shirt) and my consent management system, it is very clear that I have implied consent of the plaintiff.

    --
    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
  9. Re:Well, if you don't like the privacy policy... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Hey twitter, how's it going?

  10. Re:Meanwhile, in other News by MacColossus · · Score: 2, Funny

    I would challenge the chair throwing patent based on prior examples of published work. Example, Jesus throwing tables and chairs in the Bible. "WWJD? Some times he gets pissed off and throws some chairs and tables over!" :-)

  11. Re:Unenforceable in many states by baffled · · Score: 2, Funny

    So then, if someone violated the law with your patented technique, not only can the state penalize for unlawful acts, but you can seek monetary reward for patent infringement..

    1) Patent commonly violated law (e.g. speeding)
    2) Wait for public record of convictions
    3) Profit!!

  12. Re:Good thing... by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Imagine the royalties the Mafia is gonna hafta pay

    --
    Table-ized A.I.