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D.C. Commuters to be Scanned With Infrared Cameras

Posted by samzenpus on from the seeing-what's-real dept.

owlgorithm writes "Washington, D.C. area commuters are going to be "scanned like groceries at the supermarket" in order to catch single-occupant vehicles who are illegally using carpool lanes. The article, from the Washington Post, says that infrared cameras capable of detecting human skin will be installed, rather than the visible-spectrum cameras in use today. So much for using dummies in the front seat."

29 of 452 comments (clear)

  1. Interesting by wasted · · Score: 5, Funny
    From the summary:

    So much for using dummies in the front seat.

    If we get rid of dummies in the front seat, half of the cars on my way to work would be driverless.
    1. Re:Interesting by goldspider · · Score: 2, Funny

      "So much for using dummies in the front seat."

      I thought they used all of those up filling seats on the city council.

      --
      "Ask not what your country can do for you." --John F. Kennedy
    2. Re:Interesting by Duhavid · · Score: 4, Funny

      The other half will have crashed already.

      --
      emt 377 emt 4
    3. Re:Interesting by The-Bus · · Score: 3, Funny

      Well, I used to use corpses. So now I will either need to heat them, or make sure they are fresh.

      Oh, the things they make me do to avoid traffic.

      --

      Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.

  2. Re:I envision... by flyingsquid · · Score: 3, Funny

    Put a dog in the front seat. And shave him.

  3. I shouldn't know so much about these by Scrameustache · · Score: 3, Funny

    infrared cameras capable of detecting human skin will be installed, rather than the visible-spectrum cameras in use today. So much for using dummies in the front seat. Silicone rubber can withstand over 400 degrees of heat. You can soak REALDOLL in a hot bath, or put her under an electric blanket to give it lifelike body heat. REALDOLL's silicone flesh retains heat very efficiently.
    --

    You can't take the sky from me...

    1. Re:I shouldn't know so much about these by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I remember a few epic threads on an unmentionable website about that very subject. It devolved into a debate about the relative merits of normal masturbation versus using a real doll. A quote I remember went something like, "When you buy one of those, you're pretty much making the statement that you'll never have a real girlfriend."

      Also fleshlights.

  4. Re:I envision... by halcyon1234 · · Score: 4, Funny
    Forget that. I can heat my inflatable dummies my own damn self. It's called friction. And radiant heat from warm deposits.

    Youngsters these days and their high-tech solutions. Yeesh.

    --
    UTF-8: There and Back Again
  5. Detects skin? by conteXXt · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hannibal Lecter: "Why do you think he removes their skins, Agent Starling?"

    --
    The truth about Led Zep should never be told on /. (Karma suicide ensues)
  6. Re:Hmm... by Jello+B. · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, no, no. You're going about this the wrong way. You've gotta put yourself in the freezer so it looks like nobody's driving. Then they can't give you a ticket, because according to the cameras, you don't exist.

  7. Re:Wait... by martin-boundary · · Score: 2, Funny
    This is not just any technology. This is antiterrorist technology. Which invites the question: who gave the city officials access to secret antiterrorist technology in a time of war? Don't they realize that terrorists will just use a screwdriver to unmount the cameras, and start scanning buildings and in particular female bathrooms, terrorizing innocent American coeds?

  8. Re:I envision... by Pollardito · · Score: 4, Funny

    and you wonder why no one wants to carpool with you...

  9. Re:Great by flewp · · Score: 4, Funny

    It would seem obvious that "living humans" would also include children, regardless of what position they're in or whether they happen to be behind or in a seat that will be essentially invisible to such detectors.) So does this mean I can't just take the dead hooker out of my trunk, throw her in a hot bathtub for awhile, and get away with using the HOV lanes?
    --
    WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
  10. Re:Actually, confusing the camera is a good plan. by The+One+and+Only · · Score: 4, Funny

    Remember, glass is transparent in the visual spectrum, but can be opaque in the infrared. I know this from using Thermal Imaging Cameras in houses that are on fire.

    Wow, all I do in houses that are on fire is try not to die. Clearly you are several steps ahead of me.

    --
    In Repressive Burma, it's not just your connection that dies. slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=314547&cid=20819199
  11. Re:I envision... by halcyon1234 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Not a problem. I got over-enthusiastic. She overflowed. Now, at least, I have a pool in my car.

    --
    UTF-8: There and Back Again
  12. But.... by iced_tea · · Score: 5, Funny

    The real question is, can it detect BODIES? DEAD BODIES???

    **insert evil laugh here***

    1. Re:But.... by some+damn+guy · · Score: 5, Funny

      The real question is, can it detect BODIES? DEAD BODIES???

      Good idea, I bet they can, as long as they're still warm.

      Still, having to kill a different neighbor every day before work would still be a pain. I mean, not as bad as D.C. traffic, but a pain none the less...

    2. Re:But.... by Wordsmith · · Score: 5, Funny

      Why a different one each day? Don't you have a microwave?

    3. Re:But.... by Bloke+down+the+pub · · Score: 2, Funny

      But then you will be chopping up and sewing together bodies all the time
      Depends how big the microwave is. You might be able to pick up one of this guy's on eBay...
      --
      It's true I tell you, feller at work's next door neighbour read it in the paper.
    4. Re:But.... by lonesome_coder · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, but I have an oven.

      --
      If you'd just do what we tell you and quit yer gripin' everything would be chocolate sprinkles and rainbows! -AC
    5. Re:But.... by elrous0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      What I want to know is: If this thing is being used in Washington, DC how are they going to deal with all the politicians and lobbyists? As cold-blooded and cold-hearted as they are, there is no way a thermograph is going to pick THEM up.

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    6. Re:But.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      You sir, owe my employer a new keyboard.

    7. Re:But.... by Walt+Dismal · · Score: 4, Funny

      Introducing the RealDoll AutoBuddy! Anatomically correct and comes with 12VDC cigarette lighter plug and internal heaters. Perfect for driving carpool lanes AND when you get lonely, a little quick sex. Not available in Texas, South Carolina, or any state with deep religious convictions. Male models shipped to San Francisco NOT RETURNABLE. Overseas models available: Saudi Arabia, order model RealDoll BurqaBuddy (available only in black). For Iraq, order model RealDoll InsurgentBuddy (rides with you in passenger seat but quickly deflates if Blackwater employees spotted). For Germany, order Realdoll AutobahnBuddy, designed to tolerate braking from 180 MPH to 0 in 6 seconds, using chest-mounted airbags. (Indistinguishable on close inspection from a German barmaid.)

    8. Re:But.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      >Ever cooked a brat or a potato in the microwave?

      You cook kids? OMG!

  13. Mick and Jerry by flyingfsck · · Score: 2, Funny

    If Mick Jagger and his ex drive in a HOV lane they'll get fined: I'm so hot and she's so cold - cold like a tooooomb stone...

    --
    Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
  14. Re:Great by StikyPad · · Score: 5, Funny
    Yes. It also means if you suspect your passenger has died en route to the hospital, you must merge back into the general lanes.

    WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
    Funny.. I always thought the commercials were saying, "What Would Jew Do...?" Seemed a little bigoted to me!
    --
    https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
  15. Obligatory... by ibentmywookie · · Score: 2, Funny

    Doctor: ... misuse of the cadavers-
    Dr. Nick: I get here faster when I drive in the car pool lane.

    --
    -- The doctor said I wouldn't get so many nose bleeds if I just kept my finger out of there!
  16. Re:Definitely not a new violation of rights by Rob+the+Bold · · Score: 3, Funny

    RTFA: they are not detecting heat signatures, they are shooting IR at the car's passenger locations and judging the returned rays given previously known "reflective properties" of human skin. It may be harder, but less costly (energy wise) to spoof, especially if thin transparent coating for the head-rests with just the right "properties" can be made. No need to heat anything.

    Finally a reason to upholster my car with human skin!

    --
    I am not a crackpot.
  17. Re:Big Brother by Edax+Rarem · · Score: 2, Funny

    What really boils blood is when the single passenger douche goes slow as ass in the HOV lane.

    --
    I hate my sig.