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Running the Numbers on a US Pandemic

Lucas123 writes "A U.S. pandemic would exhaust antiviral medications, reduce basic food supplies, put ATMs out of service, shut down call centers, increase gas prices and up health insurance claims by 20%, according a test project developed by financial service firms. The pandemic paper planning scenario is used by 3,000 banks, insurance companies and security firms in preparing for disasters. The financial services groups are now sharing the pandemic flu exercise information, and all the scenarios are available for download."

13 of 257 comments (clear)

  1. This report is open sores by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 4, Funny

    The report is available in paper format.

    Just make sure you print your own copy out, the last guy who wanted to give it you didn't wash his hands.

    --
    liqbase :: faster than paper
  2. Well... by kevmatic · · Score: 4, Funny

    That would suck.

    Now what?

  3. Re:What are you going to do??? by jollyreaper · · Score: 5, Funny

    What are you going to do when the zombies show up at your door? :-) Fast zombies or slow zombies?
    --
    Kwisatz Haderach
    Sell the spice to CHOAM
    This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
  4. Fearsome. by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 1, Funny

    A U.S. pandemic would exhaust antiviral medications, reduce basic food supplies, put ATMs out of service, shut down call centers, increase gas prices and up health insurance claims by 20% They forgot the bit where it pees in your pool, kicks your dog, and ties your shoelaces together.
  5. What of real ones? by moogied · · Score: 1, Funny

    What of real pandemics? A shortage of grits?!

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    So basically, -1 troll/offtopic is really slashdots way of saying "I hate that you thought of something before me."
  6. Re:What are you going to do??? by king-manic · · Score: 2, Funny

    What are you going to do when the zombies show up at your door? I have a zombie proof bunker stock piled with canned food, can opener, guns and ammo, and enough porn and video games to last me half a lifetime. Naturally i didn't tell my family or GF because the #1 cause of death in a zombie infestation is other people.
    --
    "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
  7. Re:What are you going to do??? by sharkey · · Score: 2, Funny

    What are you going to do when the zombies show up at your door? :-)

    I can think of only one thing.

    --

    --
    "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  8. Re:Help please - best masks by edraven · · Score: 2, Funny

    Go with 0.0.0.0 . Thank you, I'll be here all week. Tip your waitresses.

  9. yfluk by CompMD · · Score: 2, Funny

    It took me about 9 seconds to get the "yfluk" tag, but when I did, I almost fell out of my chair.

  10. Re:What are you going to do??? by Pearlswine · · Score: 5, Funny

    What are you going to do when the zombies show up at your door? :-) Fast zombies or slow zombies? First one, then the other
  11. Re:What are you going to do??? by cleatsupkeep · · Score: 2, Funny

    Do you think they'd buy the "Act stiff and walk around like a zombie"? Or do you think that would just piss them off more?

  12. Re:What are you going to do??? by markbt73 · · Score: 4, Funny

    What are you going to do when the zombies show up at your door?

    Tell them no thanks; I've read their pamphlets and I wasn't impressed.

    --
    "Oh boy! Are we going to try something dangerous?"
  13. I lucked out of the pandemic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I work at one of the big wall st. banks, and when they announced this study a while back the managers were given randomly generated lists of employees who should be considered "out sick" during the simulated pandemic... then they were asked to describe how the trading desk would be impaired. Thankfully, I was the only tech guy who didn't fall victim to the hypothetical pandemic! None of the other tech guys do anything, so the impact was determined to be none. lol! I need a raise.

    The other funny part was that the random number generator used to assign certain death didn't seem to be very random... nearly everyone on the list was from the first half of the alphabet. So, in order to further reduce any impact in a real pandemic we decided to try and hire so that first letters of employees last names have a low correlation to job roles.