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Evidence of Historical Zombie Attack at Hierakonpolis

Posted by Zonk on from the where's-a-good-pub-when-you-need-one dept.

sertsa writes "A tongue-in-cheek article just published by the Archaeological Institute of America hypothesizes that the formation of ancient Egypt is linked to recurrent Predynastic zombie attacks due to outbreaks of Solanum virus. 'From the very beginning of Predynastic research, Sir W.M. Flinders Petrie reported several headless, but seemingly intact, burials during his famous excavations at Naqada in 1895. Further excavations at Gerzeh and other sites revealed more of these curious burials, but no satisfactory explanation could be proposed at the time. More recently, excavations in the non-elite cemetery at Hierakonpolis (HK43), undertaken from 1996 to 2004, have uncovered more of these strange headless burials in addition to 21 individuals whose cervical vertebrae bear cut marks indicative of complete decapitation. The individuals include men and women ranging in age from 16 to 65. The number and the standard position of the cut marks (usually on the second-fourth cervical vertebrae; always from the front) indicate an effort far greater than that needed simply to cause the death of a normal (uninfected) person. The standard position also indicates these are not injuries sustained during normal warfare.'"

8 of 244 comments (clear)

  1. hmm by User+956 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't know why everyone hates on zombies. I mean, zombies were people too.

    --
    The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
  2. Lurch post by Harmonious+Botch · · Score: 5, Funny

    This lends new meaning to the phrase "walk like an Egyptian"

  3. Re:What's the deal with this? by Dunbal · · Score: 5, Funny

    Plus the site TFA is hosted on is apparently a publication from The Archaeological Institute of America...??

          October, Halloween. Even archaeologists have a sense of humor. Get one today!

    --
    Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
  4. Re:I read this in the Zombie Survival Handbook by mrt181 · · Score: 5, Funny

    you are wrong, oil-thirsty vampires took over the white house in 2001

  5. Re:Young earth by Penguinshit · · Score: 5, Funny

    We're the result of a 6 day Powerpoint presentation??!?

    That sure explains a few things...

    --

    I have something in common with Stephen Hawking...

  6. Re:reminds me of..... by aled · · Score: 5, Funny

    Go ahead, be the reproductive-system-nazi of this thread if you want. But first answer these questions: If skeletons can't reproduce, why can we find so many of them buried? Where Skeletor does came from? Army of Darkness was better than Evil Dead II?

    --

    "I think this line is mostly filler"
  7. Re:reminds me of..... by DigitalWallaby · · Score: 5, Funny

    Skeletons reproduce by jumping each others bones.

  8. Re:Everyone knows it was not zombie attacks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Everyone with an ounce of scientific training can tell that these were actually attacks by ninja pirates, and that the vampire zombies were defending the inhabitants. "Ninja pirates" is an oxymoron. Ninjas and pirates mix like oil and water. Pirates are holy creatures. Ninjas are devil spawn. Pirates like water (except for bathing). Ninjas are landlubbers. Pirates say 'arr matey.' Ninjas don't say a single Goddamn thing. They are nothing alike! You could try sewing (or bolting) two together but they would soon kill each other--the pirate killing the ninja with his stench and the ninja killing the pirate with throwing stars.