Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Chimps Outscore College Students on Memory Test

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the well-when-the-rewards-are-bananas dept.

AP's Malcolm Ritter reports that young chimpanzees were better at remembering a series of numbers flashed on a screen, than the Japanese college students used as a control group. Scientists plan to repeat the experiment using 5th graders against the great apes.

30 of 271 comments (clear)

  1. BAC! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I demand blood alcohol content tests!

    At least make the chimps do banana flavored shots the night before ...

    1. Re:BAC! by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 3, Funny

      At least make the chimps do banana flavored shots the night before ... The scary part is -- that they did.
      --
      My blog
    2. Re:BAC! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      well, you know, anything to disprove religion.

    3. Re:BAC! by Squiffy · · Score: 4, Funny

      Considering some of the undergrads I've known, I'm surprised they were able to get them all to sit still long enough to administer the test. It must have been like herding cats.

  2. Obligatory... by Harmonious+Botch · · Score: 4, Funny

    I, for one, welcome our new... umm... er, ah what were they again?

    1. Re:Obligatory... by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 3, Funny

      Microsoft network security engineers?

      --
      My blog
    2. Re:Obligatory... by diodia_teres · · Score: 5, Funny

      So I guess in college when all those girls claimed that they forgot my number, they were telling the truth.

    3. Re:Obligatory... by davidsyes · · Score: 2, Funny

      For a sec I read "Chimps OUTSOURCE College Students on Memory Test"....

      --
      Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
    4. Re:Obligatory... by uncoveror · · Score: 4, Funny

      It was the best of times
      It was the BLURST of times?
      You stupid ape!

      --
      The Uncoveror: It's the real news.
    5. Re:Obligatory... by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, no, no...

      You got it all wrong. The joke goes:

      In Soviet Russia, noun verbs YOU!

      So, in this case, we'd have:

      In Soviet Russia, chimps outscore YOU!!!

      Or, perhaps, even worse:

      In Soviet Russa, college students outscore YOU!!!

      In our next Slashdot Memes 101 lesson, we'll cover Beowulf Clusters:

      Can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of chimps?

      --
      My blog
    6. Re:Obligatory... by daevux · · Score: 3, Funny

      maybe ... but the chimp-ugly ones were lying; they remembered your number, but were out of your league. :-)

    7. Re:Obligatory... by ArsonSmith · · Score: 3, Funny

      do they have Typewriters? Would a chimp be a monkey upgrade? Big Iron Shakespeare?

      --
      Paying taxes to buy civilization is like paying a hooker to buy love.
  3. I Wonder by sirgoran · · Score: 3, Funny

    Was the test given before or after the students had a kegger?
    It might explain the chimps score.

    --
    Carpe Scrotum - The only way to deal with your competition.
    1. Re:I Wonder by polar+red · · Score: 4, Funny

      Numerous passwords I'm up to 12 codes and passwords, every year more ... I'll have to adopt a chimpansee to help me.
      --
      Yes, I'm left. You have a problem with that?
    2. Re:I Wonder by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      While you're at it, adopt a second one as a spell checker :)

  4. Wrong training ... by foobsr · · Score: 2, Funny

    From TFA:"Even with six months of training, three students failed to catch up to the three young chimps, Matsuzawa said in an e-mail."

    Wondering what/how they trained, I'd bet that (some inner) martial arts training would have helped to improve, say, 'speed of holistic perception'.

    CC.

    --
    TaijiQuan (Huang, 5 loosenings)
  5. Re:Should I have a million apes in my basement by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why would you want to memorize Asians?

    --
    No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
  6. In other news... by eviloverlordx · · Score: 5, Funny

    A large group of chimpanzees has produced the collected works of Shakespeare four times faster than the same number of college students, and with fewer spelling errors.

    --
    'Loose' is when your pants are three sizes too big. 'Lose' is when you misuse 'loose'.
  7. Yes, but... by lazlo · · Score: 5, Funny

    The chimps scored better than the college students on memory tests, but their term papers were only marginally better.

    --
    Pound! Bang! Bin! Bash! is this a shell script or a Batman comic?
    1. Re:Yes, but... by sentientbeing · · Score: 2, Funny

      We already know robots have a better than average memory - We should try Pirates next, then if theres time and we can find some - study the abilities of Ninjas.

      We could then have all the winners of each team compete in a sort of game or something.

      --

      ------
      beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his mind he dreams himself your master
  8. The real question is. by CrazyJim1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Did the monkeys have a hat on?

    --
    God spoke to me.
  9. Well no shit... by R2.0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am positive that, after 6 years (2 degrees) of drinking and sleep deprivation, I am significantly dumber than I was going in to school.

    --
    "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
  10. Re:Reinforcement by techpawn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thanks for that insight Coco! Now get back in your cage and stop using my Wi-Fi!

    --
    Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what your country did to you
  11. 5th Graders by mqduck · · Score: 4, Funny

    Scientists plan to repeat the experiment using 5th graders against the great apes. I'm having difficulty understanding the reasoning of going from college students to 5th graders. I suppose I could RTFM, but instead I'm going to criticize from the safety of Slashdot.
    --
    Property is theft.
  12. Re:Misleading... by SpaceLifeForm · · Score: 4, Funny

    All it shows is that homo sapiens is easily distracted.
    After approximately .3 seconds, the homo sapiens mind
    can not suppress thoughts of sex.

    It's all part of the intelligent design.

    --
    You are being MICROattacked, from various angles, in a SOFT manner.
  13. Flawed experimental design by Billosaur · · Score: 4, Funny

    To be accurate, they should have used chimpanzees who were attending college.

    --
    GetOuttaMySpace - The Anti-Social Network
  14. Re:If only... by vux984 · · Score: 3, Funny

    If Tim Burton had know this a few years ago, maybe his crappy remake would have been better.

    I think the real argument is that the remake would have been better if we'd let the chimps make the film instead of Tim Burton.

  15. Damn dirty apes taking IT jobs!!! by mlwmohawk · · Score: 2, Funny

    Think about it, most IT work these days isn't critical thinking and analytical work, but merely the memorization of the latest trends and APIs, and re-writing the same old crap in a new job using a different set of tools. So, monkeys are going to have a leg up. They aren't very much more ill behaved than web designers, don't smell as bad, dress about the same, and they have similar toiletry habits.

    I wonder if they will be any more manageable?

  16. Re:Misleading... by Quiet_Desperation · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why is this post modded (at time of my reply) off-topic.

    Because you've been modded by college students instead of chimps?

  17. The Number Series by AnalogDiehard · · Score: 2, Funny
    To the dismay of Hollywood, these were the series of numbers that the chimps successfully repeated:

    09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

    --
    Eternity: will that be smoking, or non-smoking? I Corinthians 6:9-10