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Boeing 12,000lb Chemical Laser Set to Fry Targets

Posted by samzenpus on from the houseful-of-popcorn dept.

coondoggie writes "Boeing this week completed work on and installed a 12,000-pound chemical laser in a C-130H aircraft. Boeing's Advanced Tactical Laser (ATL) which is being developed for the Department of Defense, will destroy, damage or disable targets with little to no collateral damage, supporting missions on the battlefield and in urban operations."

23 of 625 comments (clear)

  1. Hmm. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    But, can you use it to make popcorn?

    1. Re:Hmm. by Yoozer · · Score: 5, Funny

      You mean, "will it fit on a frickin' shark?"

    2. Re:Hmm. by evanbd · · Score: 4, Funny

      You misunderstand. C-130H is the designation for the new, genetically engineered, giant sharks.

    3. Re:Hmm. by Ihlosi · · Score: 5, Funny
      Are they planning to use a 12000lb chemical laser for crowd control?



      "Crowd ? What crowd, sir ?"

    4. Re:Hmm. by Elemenope · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hey, asshole. Way to ruin a perfectly good and entertaining story with facts. Seriously, who raised you? I wanna know, so I know who to blame for all the crying children who no longer believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and good war stories. You make me sick. Way to not support the troops, commie!

      --
      All the techniques ever used to make men moral have been themselves thoroughly immoral... (Nietzsche)
    5. Re:Hmm. by Elemenope · · Score: 3, Funny

      I guess so. Or, perhaps I'm just not funny...that could be it, too. ;)

      --
      All the techniques ever used to make men moral have been themselves thoroughly immoral... (Nietzsche)
    6. Re:Hmm. by daeley · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Nope your not. I hate them with a passion."

      quoth Lord Apathy. ;)

      --
      I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
  2. Targetting by Finallyjoined!!! · · Score: 4, Funny

    Little or no collateral damage? Depends on the accuracy really.

    --
    If I had an Ass, I'd call it Fanny Bottom, then I could slap my Ass; Fanny Bottom, on the Arse.
  3. An easier option. by supersnail · · Score: 5, Funny

    If they relly want to destroy thing on hte ground why dont they enclose some high explosives in a steel container with a fuse set to go off when it hits an object. They could then drop this from the plane.

    just an idea.

    --
    Old COBOL programmers never die. They just code in C.
    1. Re:An easier option. by Chainsaw · · Score: 4, Funny

      Alright, what do you prefer: a sniper taking out some bastard holding a gun to your presidents head, or throwing in a ton of explosives in a container (more known as a "bomb") and wiping out the entire administration?

      Hey, if it's Bush we're talking about, I'm all for the second solution.

      --
      War is one of the most horrible things a human can be exposed to. And one of the worlds largest industries.
  4. This will be useless... by kylehase · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...unless we can bring down their shields. All forces target the shield generators!

    --
    You want fun, go home and buy a monkey!
  5. Alright by Martian_Kyo · · Score: 4, Funny

    We are one step closer to having an X wing
    A C-130H might not have the sleek looks but it's a step in the right direction.

    My next question is ....what does it sound like...movies always told us that laser will make cool sounds when fired. I vote it makes that 'Ptsui!' sound.

  6. Re:You'd think... by deft · · Score: 4, Funny

    "You'd think... they'd go after Wal*Marts first. Or Target Frys."

    I think you have that backwards... they'd fry targets first.

    --

    There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.
  7. Re:Passive Defence by Chrisq · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's why you should never go out without your tin-foil hat.

  8. Re:You'd think... by jamesh · · Score: 5, Funny

    As they say, mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets...

  9. Re:So, How do you attach it to the shark? by Phydaux · · Score: 4, Funny

    I don't remember Mandatory saying that.

  10. Re:So, How do you attach it to the shark? by cheater512 · · Score: 3, Funny

    You must be new here. :)

  11. there's the VP by misanthrope101 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Arm VP Cheney, and let him protect his President. Anyone who isn't a moron can use a modern shotgun safely and effectively.

  12. Whoa! A supersonic laser! by Eudial · · Score: 3, Funny
    TFA:

    Both systems employ a Chemical Oxygen Iodine Laser (COIL) that is made by combining a bunch of nasty chemicals - potassium, peroxide, chlorine, iodine and other stuff and then fired at supersonic speeds.

    Would be a pretty crappy laser if it was slower than the speed of sound.
    --
    GAAH! MY PRINTER IS ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
  13. In other news... by TapeCutter · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...Hamas (the democratically elected terriorists/government/aid agency/prisoners/scapegoats) today ordered the streets and roof tops of the west bank paved with with shards of broken mirrors.

    --
    And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
  14. Well there must be a crowd by spun · · Score: 3, Funny

    Because I smell barbecue.

    --
    - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
  15. Re:Cool but... by geobeck · · Score: 3, Funny

    The problem with China invading Taiwan and Japan is that the Chinese navy has far from the capabilities to move its huge army across...

    That's why the Chinese Olympic swimming team was disqualified in 2004 for trying to compete with cheap AK-47 knockoffs slung on their backs.




    Made 'ya Google!

    --
    Find environmentally and socially responsible products on http://buy-right.net
  16. Crossbow: The Best Defense is a Good Offense by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Darn, someone beat me to a Real Genius reference. Still, there are other prime quotes you can pull from Real Genius. I think this one is quite appropriate:

    "Our studies indicate that this type of weapon is totally useless in warfare."

    "Well, it's not intended for use in your kind of warfare, Roy. It's the perfect peacetime weapon. That's why its secret."

    "So it's both immoral and unethical."

    "Yes."

    [Laughter all around]
    --
    Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?