RIAA Writes Its Own News For Local TV

I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "Did your local news recently do a two-minute clip on music copyright infringement? If so, you can thank the RIAA. They sent out a video press release to local news stations as part of their 'holiday anti-piracy campaign.' In it, they warn people that the best way to avoid counterfeit music is to avoid 'compilation CDs that could only exist in the dreams of a music fan' and to trust their ears, because illegally copied music usually sounds 'atrocious.' Instead, they encourage watchers to buy ringtones for Christmas."

Comments

you mean like Mothership?

[croddy]

Hmmm... compilations... Track list encompassing exactly the finest output of Led Zeppelin... check Mastered so hot it sounds atrocious... check SOMEONE RING UP ATLANTIC. LED ZEPPELIN HAS BEEN PIRATED.

Re:you mean like Mothership?

[Anonymous Coward]

Holy crap! How'd the pirates get the grappling hooks up to the dirigible?

Gah.

[gardyloo]

The video then shows iTunes digital album gift cards and a cell phone, for which you can buy Christmas-themed ring tones. God bless us, every one.

Re:Gah.

[shark72]

"I never understood why you would *buy* a friggin ringtone. Most phones these days have usb plugs built in, or an transflash slot. A little sound editing and some technical jiggery-pokery later, and you have WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT as a ringtone."

I have no doubt that all of your friends are not only capable of the technical jiggery and the pokery, it's actually your hobby. You just love you some technical jiggery, particularly when it's with a side of pokery.

Next time you're at Walgreens, look at five people (your friends don't count, assuming you pulled your friends away from their jiggery and/or pokery sessions to get them to come with you to Walgreens). Any five people. The middle-aged cashier. The jailbait playing with the lipstick. The creepy guy in the photo section. These people just don't have the jiggery/pokery aptitude necessary to roll their own ringtones. Okay, maybe the creepy guy in the photo section does. But those other four people: they're the ones who are buying ringtones.

It's like that other question that boggles a lot of Slashdotters: why would anybody *buy* a friggen TiVo when with some spare computer parts, an IR blaster, a Linux distro and five troy ounces of jiggery/pokery, they could build their own? Sure, it smells like burned solder and you had to recompile the kernel a few times (the secret is "patch -pl -jiggery -pokery"), it doesn't have that cool lighting or the nice case or that bee-boop sound when you push the buttons, but you're STANDING UP to the MAN.

"Best thing in the world to get a phone call in a public area to have your phone shout, "My anus is bleeding...""

Interestingly enough, that's exactly what the creepy guy in the Walgreens photo section was shouting, too.

Of course!

[Wylfing]

compilation CDs that could only exist in the dreams of a music fan

Of course such things must be counterfeit. Everybody knows that the RIAA companies would never ever produce something that music fans would actually demand. 100% all good songs on an album, you've got to be kidding me!

That explains

[oahazmatt]

In it, they warn people that the best way to avoid counterfeit music is to avoid 'compilation CDs that could only exist in the dreams of a music fan' and to trust their ears, because illegally copied music usually sounds 'atrocious.'

So it sounds atrocious due to piracy, not the content itself. Interesting. That explains that burnt compliation: The Best of Yoko Ono.

Re:That explains

[MonoSynth]

The Best of Yoko Ono I usually buy that album in sets of 25 or 50, on a spindle.

Pirated News Clip!

[lilomar]

"...pirated products often appear amateurish..."
Um, I don't think this clip is legal guys... ;-)

Unbiased News Sources

[andrewd18]

It's stunts like this one that make me happy I get all my news from unbiased sources like Slashdot.

Re:Atrocious??

[Foobar of Borg]

I don't know about you, but there are few things more hellish and foul than a 30-second clip of a song encoded at 64kbps playing through a mobile phone speaker.

Yeah, that was my first thought. But there is something more hellish. Having an officemate who thinks ringtones are cool and has people calling him all the time. A promotion which gave me my own office is the only thing that staved off death for that abomination.

But you wouldn't...

[Jess (geek-chick)]

steal a baby!

Re:They're saying "if it's good it must be pirate!

[Butisol]

Legally bought RIAA music has electrolytes. It's what ears need.

Re:Disparity

[Arramol]

So by their logic, if the audio quality is good, it's probably legal, right? Boy, have I got some holiday downloading to do!

Re:Disparity

[shop S Mart]

No, they meant pirate music. "Pirate music sounds atrocious." Have you ever heard pirates sing? It's not good.

Re:Disparity

[Walkingshark]

Hey, keep your Ninja Propaganda to yourself.

Re:They're saying "if it's good it must be pirate!

[fishbowl]

They actually know to back down when somebody has an answer to "Oh yeah? You and what army?"